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BENNIE

Joska had insistent on picking me up today, but I told him I wanted to drive to his place myself. That way, he wouldn’t have to leave the house later tonight to get me back home.

Besides, whenever I was nervous, driving the extra-long route to get somewhere helped me calm down.

He had called me on facetime last night while I was eating dinner on the couch and watching TV. We ended up talking for a while, and when he started eating his dinner too, it felt like a little date over the phone.

He asked me about my day, and I asked him about his, and we continued the conversation even after we finished eating. We just sat there and talked, and he even gave me a little preview of his house.

When we came to talking about the date, he asked me what time I wanted him to pick me up, but then I told him not to do that, and that I would be there at six-thirty. He tried to change my mind about driving there myself, but I insisted, and he finally gave in.

The drive from my place to his was only about fifteen minutes, but I took the slowest route before finally reaching his house.

He lived in a nice neighborhood which already made me feel safe. Dad said I needed to have a good feeling about my surroundings wherever I went, and I definitely felt good here.

I drove up his driveway and parked my car next to his, and after reaching over to grab my purse and champagne bottle, I got out of the car and took another deep breath before walking up the few steps to his front door.

Before I could ring the bell, the door opened, and Joska was standing there wearing black pants and a black shirt which was unbuttoned at the top. I could see his chest hair, which immediately made my heart race.

Chest hair shouldn’t have made me so excited, but here we were.

I pressed my lips into a thin line as I took in how handsome he looked. He had his black hair combed back, and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.

Dear God…how dare he be so hot?!

“Hey, beautiful,” he said in his dark yet gentle voice. “You look wonderful, Bennie.”

I blushed, unable not to. He was looking at me with those intense brown eyes, and if I kept looking at him, I would melt right there on his doorstep.

“Thank you, Joska. You look handsome yourself.”

His smile turned into a soft smirk as he reached out his hand to touch my waist. “What did you bring?” he asked, nodding to the bottle in my hands.

“My favorite champagne. I hope you like it too. It’s this super cheap kind, but it tastes amazing.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it. Come in.” He stepped aside so I could walk in, and I was immediately taken aback by how clean and perfect his house was.

It was an open floorplan with large windows toward the back, and the interior design couldn’t have been more fitting. Dark wood with lots of green made the place look inviting, and the dimmed lighting made me feel comfortable and at home.

He had given me a sneak peek last night on the phone, but seeing his place in real life definitely amazed me more. “Wow…it’s so nice here. How long have you lived here?”

“A few years. I had an apartment closer to the church before, but I wanted to move into a house, and move further away from work so I could relax at night,” he said with a chuckle. “I wanted to separate my work and private life, so I moved.”

“Understandable. It would drive me crazy to live close to work.”

Joska took the bottle from me and set it on the kitchen isle before he turned to me again with a smile. He cupped my cheek with one hand and leaned in to kiss the other, his lips lingering against my skin for a while before he leaned back to look at me again. “Thank you for coming tonight. I can’t wait to spend time with you.”

I smiled up at him, resting my hand on his chest. “Me too.”

“I got you something.” I watched him walk down a hallway, and when he came back, he was holding a beautiful bouquet of white and pink peonies. My eyes widened, and I couldn’t stop staring at it.

“Wow…” I was speechless. “How did you…”

He handed me the bouquet with a gentle smile on his lips. “Do you like them?”

“I love them! They’re beautiful. Thank you, Joska.” I turned to the side so I could wrap one arm around his back and hug him while keeping my other arm around the flowers.

He kissed the top of my head, squeezing me to his side. “You’re very welcome, sweetheart. Let’s put them back in water.”

While he went to grab the vase, I headed over to the kitchen to look at everything he had prepared for us. He had insisted that I wouldn’t buy anything for tonight, and he went out to grab everything we needed to cook a nice dinner.

We had agreed on making steak and veggies, and for dessert, a nice dark chocolate mousse. I was excited, mostly because we would get to know each other in a different light.

***

“You’re a better cook than me. The steak was amazing, and so were the honey-glazed vegetables.”

I smiled at Joska as he complimented my cooking skills. “I have to be good at something, right?” I said with a teasing undertone.

“Pretty sure you’re already good at many things, darling.” He reached over to grab another dish to rinse, and after we were done, we both dried our hands and grabbed our glasses and the champagne to go sit on the couch.

All night, I had been extremely comfortable, and Joska kept making me laugh with his funny stories from his past. None of those stories included the church or women, but he talked about his family life, and about all the friends he made and eventually lost due to moving around a lot.

But he wasn’t sad about that. He was home here in Boulder, and with Tabor around, and his parents calling every now and then, he needed nothing more.

I pulled my legs under me to curl up on the couch, and without asking for it, he placed a light blanket over my legs to keep them warm. There were many instances where he did the smallest things which made my heart race uncontrollably, and I wished I didn’t react the way I did so early on in whatever we were building.

We had to take things slow because I didn’t want to ruin this.

I smiled at him as our conversation slowly faded, but the silence wasn’t awkward. It gave me the time to take in the moment we were in, and to appreciate his company.

“How did you know Peonies were my favorite flowers?” I asked, my voice gentle.

He looked down at his glass of champagne before taking a sip and setting it down on the coffee table. When his eyes met mime again, his expression told me that I wasn’t ready for the truth. “Do you really want to know?”

I pursed my lips. “Yes.”

He took a deep breath before saying, “Before I tell you, I want you to know that I was going to get you flowers either way. But…your father came by the church yesterday morning.”

What?

My jaw dropped. I wasn’t sure how to react.

Oh, God…

“I’m so sorry!”

He chuckled and placed his hand on my knee. “Don’t be. It’s fine. I thought it was sweet of him to look out for you like that. He’s a good man. He was the one telling me what your favorite flowers are, and I’m glad he told me.”

I studied him closely. “Did he try to scare you?”

“Oh, definitely, but I was charming and he quickly eased up on me,” he said with a wink. “No but, really. He was nice. Your father’s a good man, and I’m glad you have someone in your life that looks out for you like he does.”

I was still unsure how to feel about Dad visiting Joska at church, but in a way, I was glad he did. It meant that he was okay with Joska since he didn’t stop this date from happening. Dad was giving Joska a chance.

My smile was tight, and I placed my hand on his, gently squeezing his fingers. “Well, I love the flowers, and I will tell Dad tomorrow that he won’t have to come and warn you ever again because I had the best time tonight with you.”

Joska’s smile widened at my words, and the warmth in his eyes made something flutter deep inside me. He leaned back into the couch, with his other arm resting casually behind me. “I’m glad you had a good time. I was worried you might find my stories boring.”

I shook my head quickly. “Not at all. I could listen to you talk all night,” I admitted.

“Careful,” he teased, “I might take that as a challenge.”

I chuckled softly and sipped the last of my champagne before putting the glass down next to his. I had only had three glasses of the champagne, and while I could easily hold my liquor, I was feeling light-headed.

To be fair, I didn’t think it was the alcohol making me feel that way.

It was Joska who kept looking at me with intensity, and so much focus. It was as if he could see right through me.

There was a beat of silence between us again, but it was charged this time. The kind of quiet that makes you hyper-aware of everything—the soft glow of the lamp, the scent of the peonies mixing with the warmth of his cologne, and the way his thumb had started to absentmindedly trace circles over the back of my hand.

“Thank you for tonight,” he said softly, his voice lower now, almost a whisper.

“You don’t have to thank me,” I replied, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. “I’ve enjoyed every minute.”

He tilted his head, his gaze flickering from my eyes to my lips and back. For a moment, I thought he might lean in and kiss me again. My heart hammered, anticipation rising in my chest. But instead, he pulled away just slightly, like he was fighting an inner battle.

“I’m trying really hard to do this right with you, Bennie,” he admitted. “I want this to work.”

I watched him closely as the things Sin and Tabor told me about Joska came back flashing in my mind. His demeaner, the way he spoke to me so sweetly, and the way he treated me were nothing like he had been described by them.

How could he have had such an incredibly intense sex life, but was being so careful with me?

I licked my bottom lip before sucking it in and biting down on it gently as I thought about what to say next. When my eyes met his again, I decided I wanted to hear about his naughty past from him directly.

“Sin has told me things about your past with women,” I whispered, hoping not to ruin the everything.

“Yeah?”

I nodded, pursing my lips.

As quickly as I started that conversation, I wanted to end it again. But I couldn’t. I had to know about that side of him. And I needed to know if I was able to keep up with it.