Page 46

Chapter 45

WELL, THAT WAS UNEXPECTED

I woke with a hollow pit in my belly. The same pit that Nani’s loss had torn open, but now it was larger because Pashim was gone too.

The bed behind me was empty, and disappointment curdled my belly. For some reason, I’d expected things to be different between Araz and me now. After…everything.

Blue hopped onto the bed and curled up on the pillow beside my cheek. He stroked my face and gave me whisker kisses, and when a fresh wave of tears came, he wiped them away with his tiny paws.

There were no words needed between us. He felt my pain and I his compassion, and it was enough.

The mirror showed me a horror story of tangled hair, puffy eyes, and a fat red nose.

I waited for Blue to make a quip about my appearance .

He didn’t.

“Just say it.”

He gave me an innocent look from his perch on the counter. “What?”

“Whatever you’re thinking right now about how I look. Just let it out.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna.”

I arched a brow.

He shrugged. “It feels wrong.”

“What feels wrong is you not being you. So please just… don’t treat me with kid gloves, okay?”

He sighed. “Fine, you need to give the clown mask back. Oh, wait, it’s ya face.”

Urgh. “You’re right. I look rough.”

“Cold water. Icy,” Blue said. “It might help. Heck, anything is better than this.”

“Fuck you, Blue.”

“Ya not my type. I like ‘em furry.”

I cracked a smile and picked up my washcloth. Time to do some damage control.

Half an hour later, I looked less like something out of a horror movie and more like someone in need of a long nap.

“You’ll be fine by this afternoon, chickadee,” Blue said from his perch on my shoulder, a thick tendril of my hair clutched in his fist. “Your face at least. In time for the affinity ceremony.”

“That’s today?”

“Yup, the eclipse is in five hours. I wonder what we are? Earth, water, or air?”

“But no fire,” Blue said. “That one died out with the royal Asura. Though I wonder if Guru Chandra has it. He’s loosely royal, ain’t he?”

“Yeah, he is, but I don’t know much more about him.”

Right now, selfish as it was, I was focused on me. Finding my affinity meant moving barracks. I could end up living with a bunch of demigods I didn’t even know. “I don’t want to move.”

“Nobody likes change, chick, but you adjusted ta bein’ here, dincha? Even though muscle boy was a cunt about things.”

“We made a deal last night.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“Not now. Later. I promise.”

I stopped outside the kitchen door and took a breath to compose myself. It hurt just being here, knowing that Pashim wouldn’t be in there waiting at our table with breakfast and a smile.

“Breathe,” Blue said softly. “We can do this.” He nuzzled my cheek. “We have him with us. In our hearts. And he showed me how ta make those little sweet meat things ya like, so…”

A small laugh escaped me. “I love you, Blue. ”

“Course you do, I’m amazing. Now let’s get this done.”

I exhaled, shook out my hands, and stepped into the room.

The low buzz of conversation stopped, and everyone turned to look at me. I almost lost my nerve, because too many faces, too many expressions—pity and questioning eyes. I couldn’t walk into that room and act as if everything was normal.

As if I hadn’t lost…him.

I took a step back and hit a solid wall of muscle.

Warm hands cupped my shoulders. “It’s all right. I’m here,” Araz said over my head. “We can do this. Together.”

Joe stood slowly, his bottom lip trembling. “Hey…I—” He crossed the room in long strides and pulled me into a hug. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

My stupid eyes welled. “I didn’t do anything. It was Pashim. He…”

“He did what I could not,” Mahira said, her eyes bright with tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“You could have let go, and you didn’t,” Joe said. “You didn’t…”

My friends surrounded us in their love and support, and it hit me how selfish grief was because I wasn’t the only one grieving. Pashim had been loved by us all.

I wasn’t alone in this. Not by a long shot .

Our little huddle broke, and we wiped our tears and exchanged soft smiles.

“Come,” Araz said. “Let’s eat and celebrate Pashim’s life.”

“Yes,” Chaya said. “I for one am dying to taste your sweet bread.”

I looked up at him in surprise. “You…you cooked?”

He lightly caressed my cheek. “Yes, and I will do so every day that we are together.”

His words reminded me of my oath to him and that our time together was limited. I had to ensure I made the most of it.

The affinity ceremony didn’t take place in Prashikshan domain but in an annex domain, accessible by a bridge and a flight of steps that took us below the clouds. We passed through a stone arch above which three huge gemstones were embedded: an azure blue, a deep red, and a stunning amethyst one. Araz explained that the stones were symbols of the gods. The blue was the Asura, the red the Danava and the amethyst the Deva.

The whole domain was one large arena with bleacher-style seating, now packed with Asura, Danava, and seasoned demigods. And in the center of it all were five stone pillars arranged in a circle. Symbols made grooves in the ground and connected the stones.

Tantrik mages dressed in flowing green robes stood around the structure, staffs held aloft. The air vibrated and fizzed with power.

We waited on the perimeter of the arena, hidden from all eyes by a deep awning. Umbra had insisted we don our battle armor outfits, and the pinch of fabric was absent today. I guess Araz had been right about it adjusting to our bodies.

There were other potentials here with us, native demigods awaiting their affinity assignments. But they stood apart from us. Wary of us. That would have to change.

“Are you nervous?” Araz asked me.

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

Blue answered for him, his voice too loud in my ear. “You look like you’re tryin’ to wring a chicken’s neck. Calm it.”

Shit. I pressed my palms to my thighs, then rubbed away the sweat. “I hate being the center of attention.”

“It will only be for a few moments,” Araz assured me.

“I’ll be with ya,” Blue said. “Wonder what we’ll get, though.” He peeked out from my hair and twitched his nose up at Araz. “Hey, golden eyes, what you thinking?”

Araz considered for a moment. “You’re a grounded person, so I believe it will be an earth affinity. It makes sense with your physical strength factored in.”

“The demigods in earth barracks are some of the nicest,” Chaya said from behind us. She pointed across the arena at a group of demigods sitting in a cluster. A winged woman stood to one side of them, arms crossed. She was tall and athletic with dark brown skin and short dark curls. “Their barracks master, Asura Ione, is a valuable mentor and has ties to the Shahee Kshetra, which means her demigods have permission to visit from time to time. The markets and social life there are second to none.”

“Have you been?” Dharma asked.

“Once,” Chaya said wistfully.

“Who’s the man standing next to her?” Dharma asked.

“Probably the noble who rules Dharti Ghar in the royal domain,” Chaya said. “It’s where any demigods who ascend will end up living. The nobles like to attend these affinity ceremonies to see their potential numbers swell.”

“It’s starting,” Keyton said. “Hush.”

Everyone gathered closer as Guru Chandra descended from the skies, his epic white wings flared, dark hair floating around his head in a phantom breeze that seemed to be focused only on making his entrance aesthetically pleasing.

He wasn’t dressed in combat gear today; instead, he was barefoot and wore a cream tunic and loose pants edged in gold. That coupled with his epic wings made him look like an angel.

He landed on a podium set high into the bleachers, and the steady hum that had filled the area died as everyone focused on their regent.

“Welcome to the affinity ceremony. Today potentials will discover their home within our collective. Will you join earth?” Guru Chandra waved a hand toward the earth affinity demigods, and they all cheered. “Air?” Another cheer from across the arena from a group we didn’t have a line of sight on. “Or water?” The water demigods stood up and sat down, making a wave with their bodies. Neat. “Which will it be?”

Wait a second. “Why are there five pillars? I know fire is obsolete now that royals are gone, but what’s the fifth pillar?”

“Spirit,” Dharma said. “The affinity of a Deva. But it’s been dead for eons, ever since the Deva left.”

“How do you know that?” Eve asked.

“It was in one of the two books that Bhoomika gave us.”

Two books? I’d been given three, which confirmed that Bhoomika had wanted me to have the information about the binding. But why?

“Hush!” one of the native demigods admonished, eyes flashing with annoyance. “Have some respect for our traditions.”

Dharma’s hound growled as Dharma said, “Maybe you should have some respect for a private conversation and shut the fuck up.”

Chaya placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her head.

“The Shakti will call you,” Guru Chandra said. “And you will come forth and stand amidst the stones.”

The air hummed, and the hairs on my body stood up and quivered, which reminded me I was due a leg shave.

“The pillars of the gods test the essence of the divine. Step forth and be known, Alia.”

The woman who’d admonished us elbowed her way past us with her drohi in tow. A small hummingbird fluttered above her head, then landed on her shoulder. “Good luck, my blossom,” her drohi said.

She dropped him a nod then strode into the arena, head held high, straight into the center of the stones.

The hum in the air amped up, and the tantrik began to chant. There was a hiss, and then symbols lit up on one of the pillars.

The water group cheered and did a wave thing in celebration of adding another to their ranks.

The woman in the circle of stones raised her hand in acknowledgement, a huge smile on her face as she ran back to join us.

The pillar stopped glowing, and the Shakti spoke once more. “Step forward and be known, Elata. ”

A demigod guy went next, and the water lit up once more. He returned and hugged the woman, Alia.

Dharma was called next, and we all watched in anticipation as she took her spot with Ida.

This time, another pillar lit up with a symbol that looked like zigzags sitting on top of each other.

Earth let out a whoop, and Dharma waved up at them before joining us once more.

“That was weird,” she said. “Like electricity in my body.”

“Priti, step forward and be known.”

Dharma gave her sister a hug before she ran out into the arena.

“I hope she gets earth with me,” Dharma said.

Silence reigned as Priti took her spot. The hum in the air intensified as we waited, and finally one of the pillars lit up with a symbol that was three straight lines sitting on top of each other.

“Air…” Keyton said with a smile. “I knew it.”

Air cheered, and Priti jumped up and down in a cheerleader wave before hurrying back to us.

One after the other, the demigods were called, and my nerves wound tighter .

Blue whisker-kissed me to calm me down, and Araz slipped his hand into mine and squeezed. I guess I was giving off some serious anxiety vibes.

When my name was finally called, I almost missed it. But Araz nudged me. “Leela. Go.”

Fuck. I blew out a breath and walked into the arena. The sun was arching toward sunset, so the sky was tinged red and orange, and shadows lay like ominous fingers across the ground.

Eyes on me.

Too many eyes on me.

“Just get inside the circle, chickadee,” Blue said. “Get it done, and we can go get some supper.”

Power beat off the stones, hitting me in waves as I approached. It caressed my skin and ran phantom fingers through my hair. Welcoming. Calling me to enter.

Blue pressed closer to me. “I feel like I stuck my paw in a socket.”

We stepped into the circle of stones, and my lungs expanded on a breath that felt like it had been held back for too long.

Words rose in the air in a language I didn’t comprehend but felt in my bones. Beseeching. Claiming. Pleading. Demanding.

The soles of my feet tingled, and then the sensation rushed up my body in a surge that flung my head back. My eyes burned, tears filled my vision, and the sky above churned as night coalesced above me. A beautiful, wonderous sky filled with a multitude of stars. So many fucking stars .

ARAZ

The sky rumbles and night falls above the pillars. Leela rises, suspended above the ground, bathed in starlight. Her beautiful locks flare out behind her like the dark waves of a wrathful ocean.

“What’s happening?” Dharma asks. “What the fuck is happening?”

The arena is in uproar, the Asura on their feet in shock as the pillars light up one by one.

The Shakti speak in unison. “You are known blood of Vijayroodra. You are seen descendant of the first gods. You are claimed.”

The lights in three pillars die, leaving only two illuminated.

Fire and spirit.

A roar fills the arena, and the lava in my blood turns to ice, because this cannot be happening. This combination has not existed for eons.

Fire, the affinity of the royals, and spirit, the affinity of the Deva.

Leela is a fucking Deva blood.

I’ve made a deal with the figurehead of the very establishment I hope to destroy.

What have I done?

Leela…My Leela is a lost royal.

Leela’s story continues in Damned and Broken Gods