Page 44

Chapter 43

AN OATH CAN SET US FREE

I screamed, thrashing as Araz gathered me into his arms, fighting to be free. To go back to the bridge as he carried me away from it. “Pashim! Pashim!”

“He’s gone. Leela. He’s gone.”

The world was a blur, Araz’s words distant beneath the roar of blood in my head. My pain was one long scream that threatened to shatter the world.

Pashim was gone. Just like Nani. Taken by a pishacha. No. Not taken. He’d given himself. Given his soul to save me because he’d known I’d never let go of Joe. He’d fucking known, and he’d saved me from making that choice, and he was gone. He was fucking gone.

I love you, Leela, and I would have continued to love you with every fiber of my being .

My screams gave way to chest-quaking sobs that threatened to break me.

“Leela. Leela, please.” Araz cradled me, holding me together as I shook with a force of grief so large it threatened to fracture me.

“Knock her out,” someone said.

I felt a hand on my neck, then blessed darkness.

I woke with a rock on my chest and the thick residue of grief lodged in my throat, and for a moment I couldn’t understand why. I was in my room at the barracks, tucked into bed so…Recollection punched me in the gut, and a multicolor slideshow of memories filled my head.

An aching sob rolled up my throat and spilled from my lips, bringing a hot wave of tears.

“Leela…” Araz wrapped his arms around me and pulled my back to his chest. “Oh, Leela.”

I cried for the male who’d gone from being a friend to finding a place in my heart. I cried for what might have been and what was, and I cried for the loss of him, beautiful, wonderful him with a heart so warm and caring that I’d never felt alone.

Araz said nothing as he held me, allowing me to grieve, and I was grateful for it. When my tears subsided, he rolled me toward him and wiped my face dry with his hands.

He held me as my pulse settled into a regular rhythm and my hiccups subsided. When he spoke, his voice was a low, soothing rumble washing over me.

“I cannot replace what you have lost,” he said. “But I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to ensure that you lose nothing more.”

My head was full of cotton wool, and although part of me recognized the significance of his words, the meaning was lost to me.

I took a shuddering breath. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I will help you to reach your goal. I’m saying that I will stay with you as your weapon, as your drohi.”

My eyes burned from all the tears, making each blink an effort as I finally processed the fact that he was ready to give himself to me completely. “What about your goal?”

His jaw tensed. “That was taken from me the moment I was bound to you. I was just too stubborn to accept it. Maybe if I had, then things would be different.”

My scalp pricked. “What are you saying? That I wouldn’t be so devastated about Pashim if you’d stepped up as my drohi?”

“No, I?—”

“That I wouldn’t care?” I pulled away from him and sat up. “Do you wish I didn’t care about him?” My chest heaved as anger displaced my sorrow. “I’d be dead right now if not for Pashim. He saved me because he cared, because we…” I shook my head, dislodging fresh tears. “I need air.”

I clambered out of bed and slammed out of the room without bothering to grab my boots, which left me trapped in the barracks. But there was somewhere I wanted to…needed to be.

It was strange being in Pashim’s quarters without him present. But his scent lingered, bringing memories of all the hours we’d spent together. My chest ached, and more hot tears sprang to my eyes because we would never have the chance to make more.

I’d never see his smile, hear his laugh, or feel his touch. He was dead. No…he was trapped. Oh god. He was trapped, just like Nani.

I took a shuddering breath and swallowed a sob. I couldn’t be weak. Not now. Not ever. If I was going to free them and give them peace, then I needed to be stronger. Better. Harder.

I picked a sketch pad off his desk and flipped through the pages, fat tears forming in my eyes despite my resolution not to cry because every page was a portrait of me. Images drawn from his memory .

I love you, Leela, and I would have continued to love you with every fiber of my being.

Guilt circled my heart in a ring of barbs because I wasn’t sure if I’d have ever been able to say the same to him. Wasn’t sure I’d have been able to love him with the intensity and focus he deserved.

But he’d loved me enough to give his life for me.

I clutched the book to my chest. Mine now. He’d have wanted me to have it. I gave the room a final once over, gaze snagging on his bed where the corner of his sheet was awry. Strange because Pashim was always so neat and?—

What I needed to tell you is in my mattress.

My pulse spiked. How could I have forgotten?

I fell to my knees and dropped the book on the rug to feel up his mattress. He’d said in not under, but…Oh…there was a zipper. I pulled it open and reached inside to find a gap. My fingers grazed the edge of something hard. A book. I pulled it out.

Wait a second. This was one of the books that Bhoomika had given me. Why had he hidden it?

I sat back on my heels and flipped it open to find a folded sheet of paper inside. A note from Pashim?

Pulse throbbing hard in my throat, I opened it and stared at the lines and squiggles that made no sense. It wasn’t written in all tongue. Why had he left me a note that I wouldn’t be able to read? Unless…he hadn’t wanted just anyone to be able to read it but knew I could read it with the correct resource …

“Leela?” Araz stood in the doorway. “What are you doing?”

“Come in quickly and shut the door.”

He obliged, his dark brows meeting in a frown. “What’s going on?”

“Pashim told me he had something important to share with me. He said he couldn’t do it on the pareekshan because there were ankh around, but he’d tell me when we returned. And then, just before he…when he saved me and Joe from the pishacha, he told me that what he needed to tell me was hidden in his mattress.”

I held up the note. “But I can’t read it, and I think…I think he meant for you to read it to me. Can you…Can you read it?”

He took it from me, and as he read, his frown melted into a look of revelation.

“What is it? What does it say?” I stood and shuffled close to look at the script even though it made no sense to me.

He swallowed hard. “It says… The book contains a secret. One that no drohi is supposed to know, and I wager no ascended know either .”

“What is it?”

“The truth about the bond.” He lifted a tumultuous gaze to meet mine. “Pashim writes… The bond between a drohi and a demigod acts as a one-way conduit, allowing the god to borrow their drohi’s power when needed .” His frown deepened at that piece of information, but he read on. “ The bond encourages emotional connections, but the nature of those connections depends on the jodi itself. Love cannot be forced and the biggest news of all… ” Araz exhaled sharply.

“What? What is it?”

Araz looked up at me, twin spots of color blooming high on his cheeks. “The bond can be broken.”

I knew it! I knew that Bhoomika was hiding something from me. “How?”

“By a god.”

We tidied Pashim’s bed, took the book, and went back to our room, where Araz took to pacing back and forth.

“Of course, they wouldn’t make this public knowledge,” he said. “Why give drohi a choice? Why risk them leaving? One hundred years of service with freedom dangled at the end is enough. But then they snatch that away too. Binding us for eternity. A power source for the demigods.”

The drohi weren’t just warriors who’d fight alongside a demigod, they were also batteries that a demigod could tap into if needed. And if a demigod ascended and tapped into the drohi power, then what would happen to the drohi?

“Has anyone ever left?”

“Not in my lifetime. You hear stories, but…I thought I’d be the first.” He came to a standstill by the window, looking out into the night with such an expression of devastation that it tore at my soul.

“But we know now. I’m not sure why Bhoomika gave me the book. I’m not sure if it was deliberate or a mistake, but right now, all that matters is we know. All that matters is that you can be free.”

He stopped and stared at me with such longing it made my insides quake. “I made you a promise to stay by your side.”

“And you can keep that promise. Stay with me. Help me to ascend, and when I become a god, I promise to set you free.”

His throat bobbed, and his chest heaved. “I hear you say the words, but I can’t quite believe them. I can’t help but think that this is a cruel dream or a trick.”

I bridged the distance between us and placed my palms on his chest. “No dream. No trick. Just a simple deal. My ascension in return for your freedom.” His heart sped up beneath my fingers. “Do we have a deal?”

His topaz eyes lit up. “A deal is not a deal unless it is sealed in an oath…”

He didn’t trust me to keep my word, and how could I blame him? “Fine, an oath then. How do we do this? Cross pinkies? Cut our palms and mix our blood?”

“A kiss,” he said. “An exchange of essence.” He gently gripped my jaw and forced my head up, leaning in so our mouths were a mere inch apart. “Are you willing?”

My pulse jumped, and guilt rocked through me because I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Not now, not when I’d just lost Pashim, but my body didn’t dance to my command when it came to Araz.

“Leela? You owe me nothing.” His grip slackened, and I grabbed hold of his wrist.

“But I want to. I want to owe you this much.”

Hope flickered in the flames in his eyes. “Then you consent?”

“I do. I consent to the oath to free you once I ascend.” The words were barely out when his lips met mine in a soft seal that demanded nothing except the warmth of my mouth and a sliver of my breath, tugged from my throat in a rush to meet his. Tendrils of heat spiraled down my neck and into my chest, spreading out like questing fingers and taking root.

What would the consequence of breaking this oath be?

Too late now.

It was done.

He broke contact but didn’t release me. Instead, he studied me with focused intensity as if trying to puzzle out a conundrum. I shifted from foot to foot, then gently tugged my head from his grasp.

“So that’s done now?”

“It is. We have a deal sealed in an oath.”

“And if we break it? If one of us doesn’t keep their end of the bargain? ”

His eyes formed topaz slits. “Do you plan to break it?”

“What? No.”

“And neither do I.” He exhaled and shook his head. “This will happen. It will finally happen. We will both get what we want.”

I’d blustered and bragged, put on a front of confidence and said the words I needed to hear to make myself believe I could succeed here. But deep down, I’d doubted myself, because I’d been missing the one component every other potential had…A committed drohi. And even earlier, when Araz had said he’d concede, that he would put aside his goal and help, I’d doubted, because his commitment came at a huge cost to his wants and needs.

But now, in this moment, with a deal between us, I truly believed I had a chance to get to the labyrinth.

A chance to become a god.