Page 6 of Losing My Siren Luna (Hidden Cove #1)

Lachlan POV

“ She knows,” Killian whimpers. “ She remembers everything. She hates us.”

“She can’t. She can’t hate us entirely. We’re her mate,” I tell him, but that doesn’t stop the fear from rising up inside me.

She can’t hate me. I can’t lose her again. If she rejects me again, I would rather die than try living without her. I know what life without her is like. I know what living with the pulsating pain of regret constantly residing in my chest is like.

I can’t live without her. I won’t.

Her hesitation at our vows makes knots form in my stomach, and acid rises in my throat. The bitterness of reality matches its taste. When her father placed all the rules on me, rules I made a blood promise not to break, I never thought he would bring her back with her memories intact as well.

This should have been easy. We could have lived blissfully in love for years until the mate bond fully revealed itself, then I could have marked and mated her with no stipulations.

Now… I’m going to have to fight. Fight even harder to change her opinion of me, and I’ll have to do so without being able to tell her why I’m so different this time around. I can’t reveal why I wanted her when last time I treated her so poorly.

It’s our wedding, and I can see the fear in her eyes now that they have finally met mine. She is fearing for tonight, I’m sure. It’s the first time I betrayed the bond. Even though I didn’t feel it, she did, and she probably lay in agony all night because of me.

It will be different this time. I will never take another, but I can’t tell her why.

I can’t reveal that I know we are mates.

I can’t tell her that I remember the life we had before as well.

Her father created a contract in my blood, and it is unbreakable.

Even my desire to tell her everything right now is causing me agony.

“Lira,” I whispered her name like a prayer, and to my surprise she met my gaze, her emerald eyes shining with unshed tears.

It breaks my heart to see her fear of me. I did this. I brought this on myself.

She moves her gaze to the ground, then takes a few deep breaths, closing her eyes as she collects herself.

People around the room began to whisper, her uncle glaring at her with a sneer on his lips.

He was the reason I was untrusting of my attraction to her.

He was the reason I rejected this marriage in every way except on paper while I was still in it.

He’s conniving and manipulative. I can see the hidden motive behind his actions, but I didn’t have a choice before.

I couldn’t refuse this marriage, for my pack would have suffered without the alliance.

In our weakened state, the North would have come for us, attacking us in our land, devastating our home while we recovered from the war that just came to an end.

I needed the two years to rebuild our forces, and now it looks like I will have the added and even greater burden of rebuilding the bond between my mate and me.

When Lira looks up again, her eyes are again a vacant stare, looking past me as her passive, cold face returns.

“I do,” she states, her voice soft and monotone.

The ring bearer hands her the ring to place on me, and she goes through the motions without even looking at the rings. The rings just hours ago I agonized over, picturing her surprised face when she gazed upon their beauty. Now, she doesn't take notice of them at all.

Killian whimpers and cries, feeling her disinterest and coldness towards us.

“I present to you all, your Alpha and Luna, Lachlan and Elelira Stiles!” the elder recites with a joyous look that neither Lira nor I feel.

I sent word to him before we began to change one part of the ceremony from our previous life, and now my fear is caught in my throat with the realization that Lira will not like it. She will hate it. She may reject it on the spot.

“Alpha Lachlan, you may now kiss your bride!”

She startles hearing that, looking at him, then back at me in horror.

My heart pulses painfully in my chest at that look. When I pictured this moment, I imagined her lovestruck face staring back at me with anticipation and want. That is the opposite of what she is expressing now.

The color drains from her cheeks. She wants to run. I can feel it. Killian can feel it, and he is crying while snarling at me in my head.

I hoped for a sweet, romantic first kiss, but the reality of the moment was nothing but fear from both of us and for different reasons.

If it wasn’t for my hands holding firmly to hers, I felt like she would make a run for it right now, and because that is my greatest fear, I couldn’t seem to let her go. We are standing before half the pack awkwardly. We can’t back down. I can’t back down.

“Lira,” I whispered, making her panicked eyes meet mine. “Just….please,” I pleaded with her, begging her to not reject me, or to fear this.

I pull her hand, taking a step closer to her, but she takes a step back. In my panic, I wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her toward me, and she goes stiff as a board, not responding at all to my lips as they meet hers.

I swear I can feel the sparks, even without the bond, and Killian stops whimpering and purrs slightly. Her lips are as soft as I imagined. For years I imagined what they would feel like. This is beyond my expectations.

My elation is short-lived as I pull away from her, and am met with her hate-filled glower.

She looks away, towards the congregation.

The music is bellowing a joyous wedding march, but this moment feels any but.

Her hand is stiff as I lead her back down the aisle to the waiting room at the end.

The pack and attendees are cheering for us, waving ribbons and banners, but her face remains passive and cold.

As the doors close behind us, I try to explain myself.

“Lira, I’m sorry. I-”

SLAP!

“You will not ever touch me again. Don’t even show yourself to me after tonight. I don’t know what that was, but I’m as uninterested in this union as you are.”

I grip my throbbing cheek, but the pain doesn’t compare to the pain in my heart. “Lira, I’m not-”

“I know,” she whispered in a dangerously low voice.

“I know what you think of me and this marriage. I know you’re not invested in this, and neither am I.

Let’s just bide our time, and annul the moment the terms on the alliance contract are up.

I will stay out of your way. You can live your life as before and I will live like the dead, being sure to never cross your path. ”

No…..No, no, no.

I reach for her, taking a step in her direction, but then the doors behind me reopen and people begin to pour out to offer us their congratulations.

She sends me one last death glare, then turns towards her handmaid, Niomi, who comes out ahead of the crowd.

Niomi is looking between the two of us with concern.

Many of the guests are looking at us with concern or confusion, but still offer their commendations.

We must have put on quite a show there at the end.

Niomi accepts all the praise aimed at Lira, then begs their pardon so she can assist Lira in changing her dress.

Together they walk off down the corridor to change her from her gorgeous wedding gown to the simpler dress for the reception, leaving me to receive all the congratulations on my own. A task I feel unworthy of and sick doing.

“Alpha Lachlan,” Alpha Wayne, her uncle, greeted me with a handshake. “I look forward to hearing good news soon. My men and I have a long journey ahead, and will have to miss your reception. Tell my niece I look forward to hearing from her in the near future.”

This. This right here is why I was so suspicious of Lira. I know now that Wayne was just trying to use her as a pawn, and she really wasn’t in a conspiracy with him. I nodded, not trusting my voice to not show my malice and hatred for the man.

He grunts, then he and his men walk toward the front of the manor to set out on their journey, which I know from before is not to their home, but to the brothels and bars in town.

It was quite embarrassing running into him and all his men there last time.

Luckily, he thought I had enough of my wedding night with my wife, and had come to town to celebrate more rounds without her.

He is that sick of a man who thinks nothing of having multiple partners in one night, and that it was normal to cheat on your wife.

Tonight, we will not come upon that awkward situation. I will be loyal and faithful, even if she remembers and hates me.

Elelira POV

The reception went much the same as the first time. Many of the pack members came to congratulate us as we sat at the head table, but we didn’t speak to each other again.

I was polite, even pasting on a smile at times, but inside I felt numb. I knew what tonight would hold for me, and I thought I was ready, but then he went and kissed me.

What was that? That didn’t happen the first time. It stirred up Val, and it took me so long to get control of her again.

She felt it. Fully. The bond, the sparks.

It was….exhilarating. It made me feel alive for a few moments…

.then reality hit me. As I was walking down the aisle hand-in-hand with Lachlan, the reality of what was to come if I succumbed to my bond felt like it was choking me.

Momentary elation would mean nothing by tonight.

Out of anger for my Lycan, fearing what the ugly strands of hope he just fed her would do to her tonight, I slapped him. I slapped Lachlan, and spewed my venomous words all over him, not fearing at all what his reaction would be.

I won’t tolerate it. I won’t tolerate him hurting Val like that.

After changing into a lighter, simpler dress for the reception, I went back down with Mimi and was led over to my seat by Nilo, who told me my husband would be joining me shortly with a snicker.

When Lachlan did show up, he sat quietly beside me, and I continued to sip wine and accept greetings numbly from his pack. We didn’t speak or acknowledge each other again.

There was one difference in the reception. The first dance. I was dreading it, but when Nilo gave a short speech, snickering as he wished us a happy two-year alliance, he didn’t end his speech by welcoming us to our first dance like he did before.

No. This time, by the end of the speech, his eyes glazed momentarily and he started to sweat. He looked nervous as he stared at Lachlan, then finished the speech with “To the bride and groom,” as a toast. That was it.

I wouldn’t have to let Val suffer from his torturous and tempting touch again, so I was grateful.

Lachlan chugged his champagne, then pushed himself from his seat, leaving with the mumbled excuse of needing to speak with his Beta.

I was happy to see him go. With him gone, it was acceptable for me to step out as well, and there was only one place I wanted to be.

Grabbing an open but nearly full wine bottle from the beverage cart, I slipped out of the hall while everyone was distracted with their meals that were starting to be served. The bride and groom were served first, while Nilo was speaking, so no one would notice my absence for a while.

I took the familiar path around the stone walls of the castle, past the main docks, leading to the private dock only for Lachlan’s use.

His boat was docked to the side, which is why I liked coming here.

It hid me from view as I sat on the dock’s end, letting my feet hang off the edge, skimming the water’s surface.

Feeling the water between my toes brings back the longing to feel the water all around me. I love the ocean, and the freedom it brings. I’ve never known anything but sorrow and confinement on land. I want to be free in the sea again.

I’m staring down at the water under my feet, marveling at the foaming waves as they crash against the structure beneath me.

I feel like I’m being watched suddenly, and sigh deeply, thinking it’s going to be Mimi or one of the guards asking me to return to the party.

I looked up, took a big swig of wine, then froze, bringing the bottle back down as I’m startled.

Out in the distance is a figure, very human-like, floating above the water. I can’t see his face, or anything other than a manly profile thanks to the angle and reflection of the sun, but I know somehow that he is watching me.

I slowly stand, trying to get a better view so I can see his face when the figure dives below the surface, and a magnificent tail catching the sunset in its scales flicks against the surface.

A siren. In all my life, I’ve never seen another. Not even when the representatives come to shore every several years to discuss diplomacy with the packs. I was always told to stay out of sight, in my room, even by my mother.

Seeing one now brings tears to my eyes. I want to be in the sea. I wanted to dive in, swimming out to where I saw him go under, searching for him and pleading for him to take me. Take me back to your lair, to your kingdom.

“Can we call out to him? Is there a way to signal him to come here?” Val asks, as eager as I am to find a way to escape into the sea.

She is just recovering from what being near her mate did to her.

The agony of knowing you are so close to a mate that doesn’t want you and can’t feel you kills her, but she knows he is hopeless.

A lost cause. He will start hurting us by tonight, and there is nothing we can do to stop it.

Not without making ourselves vulnerable, which I will not do.

“ I don’t think he wanted us to see him. He dove under right when we noticed him.”

“What if he is just swimming to us? He could be coming this way now.”

“No. This distance is nothing in the water. He would already be here.”

I’m tip toeing on the edge of the dock, considering diving in when I hear that damned nickname again.

Val whimpers in my head, not ready for another encounter with him.

Maybe I should dive in. I can make it pretty far by swimming even without my fins.

I can make it to the other side of the castle, then sneak away to my room, hiding for the rest of the night.

“LIRA!” he yelled, and I knew he caught sight of me. I groaned, throwing the sea one last longing glance before turning to face my insufferable husband once again.

“ Retreat, Val. Just tune him out and wait for this moment to pass. It will always pass with him. Close yourself off and I’ll let you know when he’s gone.”

She whimpers, but is quick to listen, hiding herself deep in my mind, closing herself off to all my senses so she won’t have to feel her mate being near.