Page 18 of Losing My Siren Luna (Hidden Cove #1)

Elelira POV

It’s hot. Too hot.

My body is a tingling sensation of warmth and comfort, soothing sparks enveloping me.

Something is weighing me down, preventing me from moving freely. I try to roll over, as Val stirs awake in my mind, then it hits me. I’m being held by Lachlan.

I’m so warm because I’m no longer in the drafty tower room, and I’m in the arms of my mate. A mate that doesn’t know he’s my mate, who hurt me beyond measure in my first life, and I was on the brink of a fit of terror from his touch just last night.

I’m not on the brink of terror now, though. I’m just hot.

And I need to empty my bladder.

I pushed firmly against Lachlan’s arm, trying to get it off my body. His grip just becomes tighter, squeezing my torso and making the urge to pee ever stronger.

“Alpha!” I hissed, trying to wake him, tapping my hand on the side of his face.

“Mmh,” he groans, resting his chin above my head.

“ Just wet the bed,” Val yawned, “ Maybe he won’t try to sleep with us again.”

“Tempting,” I growled.

“LACHLAN!” I yelled, shoving him roughly against his chest.

“No, I’m Killian,” he grumbled gruffly. His rough voice lets me know it’s not Lachlan but Killian in control. “That idiot was worried he would scare you again, so he had me come forward.”

“Whoever you are, I need to get up, please,” I groaned, squeezing my thighs together.

“No,” he groans, “I’m comfortable.”

“Well, I’m not,” I pushed against him again, “I need to use the restroom, you big puppy.”

“Fine,” he yawns, letting me go enough so I can wiggle free.

He grabs my pillow after I get up, cuddling it to his chest as he goes back to sleep, purring with his nose pressed to the fabric. I rush to the bathroom, the sparks from our mate bond fading with each step away from him I take.

I wonder how and why I ended up in Killian’s arms last night without noticing. I’m also wondering why I was okay with it?

Killian has a soothing presence about him, even in Lachlan’s body. I have so many memories of Lachlan being horrible to me, but I never met Killian before yesterday.

“He’s wonderful,” Val hums in my mind.

“ We barely know him,” I rolled my eyes.

“ But he’s still wonderful,” she sighs, “ You even like him.”

“I don’t hate him,” I admitted, “He’s cute. Much cuter and less annoying than his human.”

His aura even changes from Lachlan’s. The mate bond becomes stronger but more comforting when he is near me. I know he won’t hurt me, somehow. I don’t feel that same way in Lachlan’s presence. I feel like I need to be ready for his anger at any moment.

It’s funny how they share the same face, the same body, but are completely different to me.

When I’m done with my business, and after washing my face and cleaning my teeth, I find a thick robe hanging near the large tub and decide to put it on before returning to the bedroom.

My mother’s nightgown has been washed thin, and though it is comfortable, it is quite cold now.

The restroom’s heating must not be on yet.

It does appear to be early morning, far earlier than we should be awake for.

Coming out of the ensuite, I can tell right away that Lachlan took back control from his Lycan. His eyes are more hooded and his face full of worry lines and a deep scowl. Killian looked less reserved in his body. Lachlan looks like he is already upset about something.

“Um, good morning, Alpha,” I murmured, going to the side of the bed to retrieve my slippers as his hooded eyes followed me.

He stares at me while I slip them on my feet, then murmurs a low “Good morning,” in return.

I stand awkwardly beside the bed, while Lachlan is sitting on the edge, sliding his feet into his boots without lacing them up. He runs his hands through his hair then down his face, looking exhausted.

“It’s still too early, Alpha. Why don’t you go back to sleep? I think I would like to walk to the kitchen for some tea anyway,” I said, shuffling nervously on my feet.

“Are you not tired?” He watched me warily.

I shake my head. I don’t think I could go back to sleep now even if I was still tired. I felt like I was dreaming of something unpleasant, and then after waking up in his arms, I suspect that is why.

Or maybe not….

I felt surprisingly comfortable in Killian’s arms. It was more the feelings behind whatever dreams I was having that were making me not want to close my eyes again.

Lachlan yawns again, standing up to stretch. “Why don’t you lay back down and just rest before Niomi comes for you. I need to get to training, but I can have a kitchen omega bring you your tea.”

His eyes watching every movement and expression about me made me want to squirm in discomfort. I feel like he is evaluating me, or judging me in some way. He is not as easy to be with as his Lycan, that is for sure.

“Okay,” I end up conceding, getting back in the blankets on the bed after knowing he wouldn’t be staying in it with me.

“Regular tea?” he asks. I nodded. “Sugar or milk with it?”

I shook my head, “Just black.”

Sugar and milk were never things wasted on me before.

Uncle made me eat with the omegas and staff, who were rarely allotted such luxuries, and after coming here, it was much the same.

After Mimi died, even black tea was a rare thing for me here.

When she was alive, I didn’t like her having to fight and argue to acquire things for me that weren’t necessary or allotted to the castle’s staff, so I quickly learned to live without them.

He nods, “Anything to snack on before breakfast?”

I shook my head softly again, not wanting to put him out. I barely ate the food yesterday at our reception, but, again, hunger is nothing new to me. I can wait to join Mimi with the staff for breakfast.

He makes a face, his eyes scowling more than normal as he stares at me, but after a few awkward moments of scrutiny, he lets out a heavy sigh and starts to leave.

“I should be back to join you for breakfast. If I am unable, I will send Cherum to accompany you to the main dining hall. Or would you rather eat here?”

I furrow my brows, “I’m allowed to eat in the dining hall?” Before, I was told to stay out of it. He didn’t want to give the impression that we were in a true marriage or I was anyone’s Luna.

“Yes, Lira. You are allowed to be anywhere you wish, as long as it is in this castle. If you wish to travel outside of it, I just ask you to let myself or Cherum accompany you. You are my Luna. Your authority and control surpasses all others. Even myself.”

I scoff at that last part. I can’t help myself. No one's authority surpasses his.

He sighs again, looking momentarily upset by my reaction.

“I’m not spouting empty words, Lira. You are my wife. You are my mmmmh-,” he took a deep breath, his face looking strained for a split second, “my Luna.”

Wow, was saying those words so hard for him. Does it cause him pain even in this life to try and say I am his Luna?

My negative thoughts towards my husband and mate are interrupted as he approaches me, resting his rough hand on the side of my face, his thumb rubbing soothingly on my cheek.

“Rest. It was a long night for you. I will have someone come shortly to bring your tea.”

A long night? What did he mean by that?

“ Maybe he is talking about how you panicked when we kissed yesterday? It was a stressful situation,” Val suggested guiltily.

That must be it.

The sparks tingling on my skin from his touch help me to relax, my bond being comforted, despite my personal feelings towards the one I am bonded to. I rested back on my pillows, trying to reassure Lachlan that I would try to rest after he left.

~

Lachlan POV

I fell asleep watching Lira, mesmerized by everything about her. When my eyes eventually got too tired to stay open any longer, and sleep was heavy on me, that was when Lira started to scream in her sleep.

It was horrifying. Watching her go from peaceful tranquility, her angelic features relaxed and lovely, to seeing her wear a mask of pure terror, her screaming and cries jolting my heart was almost too much for even me. I don’t know how she stayed asleep through it all.

I tried to wake her, worried she would break her jaw from clenching it so hard, or she would hurt herself by scratching at her skin too deeply. She wouldn’t wake, no matter how loudly I called to her or how much I shook her, trying to be careful not to touch her directly.

The last thing I wanted was to touch her and make her even more terrified of me, but when Killian suggested doing just that, I had no other option.

He came forward, as I didn’t trust myself not to scare her if she woke. When he pulled her against us, wrapping our arms around her slim frame, trapping her thrashing legs between ours, she started to settle down, and within minutes was back in a deep, restful sleep.

Every time we stopped touching her skin directly, she would start to get restless again, whimpering and crying in her sleep. It shattered my heart, seeing her so broken in her most vulnerable state.

I couldn’t stop wondering if I was the one that did that to her.

Killian still suspects her condition is from another trauma, but he can’t argue that my betrayal might have had something to do with her restless sleep. She would have felt it and had to endure every night I was with another woman, keeping that pain all to herself.

We felt it. We felt what betrayal could do to a person’s sanity. I wanted to end myself so many times, feeling it endlessly for long periods of time, in the time before she died, and I felt our bond severed for good.

The betrayal pain could never compare to the pain of feeling her soul permanently detach and forever leave mine, but it was still unimaginable.

“She thought last night would be the first night we betrayed her. She kept telling me to go to my guest . Maybe she was reliving that night from our first life all over again,” I tell Killian.