Page 9 of Laila Manning (Shadeport Crew #3)

“ I need a favor.” Carly clasped her hands together in front of her as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet at my door.

I'd never admit it, but I was slightly disappointed when I opened it to her instead of my mysterious neighbor from across the hall.

Four days ago, Zeke walked with me down the sidewalk while I did a therapy exercise, and it felt like something passed between us, yet I hadn’t seen or heard from him since.

Nothing. Not a casual smile, in passing down the hallway, or even the noise of him coming or going to his place late at night like usual.

Just silence.

So, when someone knocked on my door, my stupid heart sped up with excitement that it could be him coming to say hello.

“No.” I shook my head, forcing myself back to the present. “I mean, I can’t. I’m busy.”

She rolled her eyes and glared at me. “You don’t even know what I’m asking of you yet. ”

“Doesn’t matter. I can’t.” I shook my head again.

“Elora and Ryker need a babysitter tonight. Their nanny has the flu, and they have plans.”

“No.” I shook my head, trying to shut my door as panic flushed through my body at the mere mention of watching Gavin alone. “You do it.”

“I can’t!” Carly cried, blocking my door with her foot and pushing it open, ignoring my attempts to run. “I must go, too. We have tickets to a concert, and I’m not missing it. They’re my favorite band.”

“There are no less than twenty staff and crew members on this estate at any given time. Make one of them do it.” I scoffed.

“Ellie doesn’t trust anyone else with Gavin, and you know that!”

“Not my problem!”

“Laila!” She sighed.

“Carly.” I mocked. “We talked about this. I can’t.”

“You can.” She challenged. “You just won’t try.”

“Rude.” I pursed my lips at her, and she smirked, tilting her head to the side.

“He goes to bed in two hours; we’re leaving in one. That’s just one hour of babysitting duties and then bedtime, and you can just hang out for a few more hours until we get back.”

“Carly.” I groaned. “I’m not comfortable—”

“You have to try new things, Laila.” Carly prodded, reminding me of my therapist’s orders at my last session. She called me sedentary and complacent about letting life pass me by.

While I first balked at her lack of tact, she wasn’t wrong.

“A baby is not an appropriate test subject.”

“He’ll be fine.” She reasoned. “We trust you, Laila. You have to trust yourself. ”

I groaned, knowing she had me by the throat because I couldn’t actually tell her no. Or Elora and Ryker, for that matter, after how much they’d done for me.

She smiled brightly before squealing and taking my hand in hers.

“Yay!” She bounced around on her toes. “Come to the mansion in forty minutes and we’ll give you a quick recap of his routines and where to find stuff.

” She excitedly turned down the hall and headed toward the exit but stopped and looked back at me.

“I’m proud of you, Laila.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

In the deserted hallway after the exterior door swung shut, I stood silently, focusing on my breathing and heart rate to prevent a panic attack.

“I can do this,” I whispered to myself, tightening my hold on the doorknob of my apartment to ground me. “I can do this.”

“If you have questions, just text me.” Carly rubbed her hand up my arm reassuringly. “You’re going to be just fine.”

“I know,” I replied, smiling back at her, believing in myself. It took a massive pep talk in my apartment before coming over to the mansion, but I felt fine about being left with Gavin.

“The guards will go in and out through the security room entrance,” Ryker informed me as Ellie slid her leather jacket on next to him. “I’ve given them strict instructions to stay out of the main living areas unless summoned. ”

“Got it.” I nodded, switching Gavin to my hip as he cooed and played peek-a-boo with Jed over my shoulder. “I’m good. Really. We’ll be fine.” I repeated Carly’s affirmation. “Have fun.”

“It’s going to be a blast.” Ryker rolled his eyes, and Ellie elbowed him in the ribs. “What?” He scoffed. “I’m too old for a mosh pit.”

“And I’m too young to stay home every night,” Ellie argued, winking at me before kissing Gavin’s cheek. “Be good for Auntie Laila, Gav. I’ll see you in the morning.” She pulled back. “Thank you so much for filling in.”

“No problem. Get out of here before you hit traffic.” I waited at the bottom of the stairs as they started leaving, pausing when Jed came up to me.

“Say the word, and I’ll stay here.” He said firmly, not elaborating.

“And leave your girl, looking that good, all alone at a rock concert?” I deadpanned, looking around his shoulder to where Carly zipped up a pair of black leather thigh-high boots to match the mini leather skirt that barely covered her bits. “Yeah, right.”

She winked at me and backed toward the door. “I had to beg, borrow, and plead to get him to agree to this, Laila. I wasn’t leaving anything to chance for getting him out the door.” She blew Jed a sultry kiss. “Come on, big boy. Let’s go rock and roll.”

He groaned but followed her with a grimace my way. “Text me if you need anything, and we’ll come right back.” He stared me down. “I promise.”

“We’re good.” I waved Gavin’s little hand at his parents as they left, while he happily giggled and chewed on his other hand. When the door shut behind them and I was alone in a house filled with other people just out of sight, I quietly asked myself. “We’re good, aren’t we, little man?

Men .

The house was filled with men.

Men who were big and scary and trained to fight and kill at a moment’s notice. But who were also supposedly friends.

Allies.

Memories assaulted me from a time in my past when other men were supposed to be my friends, my allies.

Yet they were the ones who hurt me first.

“Let’s go play with all your cool toys.” I fussed at Gavin, distracting myself from the panic again.

Carrying Gavin through the house, I avoided the kitchen like the plague on my way to the den and sat in the middle of the floor with him, surrounded by his happy, colorful toys.

He crawled away to his favorite set of blocks, intent on destroying any remnants of towers left standing from the last time he was here to play as I sat back against the couch and watched him.

He was so perfect and innocent. Sometimes, when he was near, I felt like his innocence could almost silence the damage done inside my head. Like somehow his pure goodness could heal something inside of me.

Then there were other times that I worried my darkness and trauma would taint his cleanness, leaving him contaminated and broken like me.

I wouldn’t survive that.

I couldn’t survive ruining another perfectly innocent baby. Not again.

“Gah!” Gavin screamed in jubilation as he knocked the last stacked tower down with his chubby hands, looking back at me for praise.

“You did it!” I cheered, smiling at him as he giggled and looked for more. “Such a smart boy.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, I crept downstairs, watching the monitor for any sign that Gavin had woken. It had taken me nearly an hour to get him to sleep because he had wanted to stay up and play, fighting his tiredness. But finally, I came out victorious.

And there was a pint of mint ice cream in the freezer with my name on it as a reward.

Literally. There was a sticker on it that said ‘ Laila’s. Eat it and die. ’ in Ellie’s handwriting. I’m generally suspicious of freebies; experience showed me that good deeds often had hidden downsides.

But I was trying to be trusting again, and no one here had ever hurt me before.

Which was a mantra I repeated all day every day.

I only knew the ice cream was there because Gavin’s teeth had been bothering him before bed, and I remembered his frozen treats were in the kitchen. So, I risked encountering a security guard to get him some.

And now I was hooked, desperate to go back and get the ice cream I’d earned while simultaneously telling myself it wasn’t worth the risk and forgetting about it.

I had made so many big-girl steps already though; I didn’t want to lose the momentum to old fears.

I forced my feet to move ahead, toward the kitchen and then to the freezer.

Relieved, I found the kitchen empty and silent, I practically ran to the industrial-size freezer and grabbed the sweet treat, fearing I’d be caught .

The security door opened just as I reached for a spoon, and fear instantly froze me, my hand trapped in the drawer, my body screaming to react but utterly immobile.

Ryker had told his guards to stay out of the main house unless I summoned them, but I didn’t call anyone. A giant body moved through the doorway, into the brightly lit kitchen, and electricity zinged through my nervous system when I saw who it was.

Zeke.

But it wasn’t Zeke the way I knew Zeke. The man who walked into the kitchen and paused when he saw me was a version of Zeke I’d never seen before.

He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of black pants and matching black boots, with a scowl equally dark.

Blood splattered his tattooed chest and neck, his face just as crimson stained.

A nasty wound lay across the meat of his chest, directly over his heart, dripping blood down his torso and into the waistband of his pants.

“Laila?” He scowled deeper, staring at me. “What are you doing in here?” There was a slight slur to his words that instantly made me remember the way liquored-up men talked in the brothel.

Zeke was drunk.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered on autopilot, dropping my eyes and staring at the floor between us as my body took over for my short-circuiting brain. “I didn’t see anything. I’m sorry.”

“Shit.” The slow, quiet tread of his boots on the floor followed a sigh, and a muttered curse. “Hey, look at me.” I forced air into my lungs, trying to forget the way the blood looked smeared across his handsome face while simultaneously reminding myself he was always kind to me.

Friend.

Ally .

Good.