Page 37 of Laila Manning (Shadeport Crew #3)

“But you did.” I whispered, remembering the way she left me behind that car during the gunfight to enact her own revenge on her kidnapper .

“I didn’t plan it.” She shook her head and looked at me with haunted eyes, “I don’t even remember making the decision to pick up the gun or to pull the trigger.”

“Do you regret it?” I asked the impossible question, “Would you go back and change it if you could?”

“Yes.” She nodded softly, “I can’t get the image of him as I shot him out of my head. Some nights it wakes me up, and I’m right back in that dark parking lot all over again.”

“Do you feel like revenge could have felt differently if he’d have died in the shootout or something, not at your hand?” I questioned, imagining my own demon facing the end of a gun, but I couldn’t tell who was holding it and pulling the trigger.

She tilted her head to the side sadly, “Are you asking for me, or yourself?”

“I don’t know anymore.” I admitted in defeat.

“All I can tell you is it gives me peace knowing he can’t hurt me again.” She acknowledged. “But I don’t know what that means for me or my soul.”

“I think my soul died sometime around my twentieth birthday.”

I stayed at Carly’s for a while more, relaxing in the silence of her understanding and healing something in the ease of it. But I couldn’t hide anymore, even though she was intent on locking herself inside all day to avoid Jed .

I wasn’t going to get involved in their relationship differences, because if I had to put my guess in, I’d say Carly just needed some time to get her head wrapped around the idea of bringing a baby into the world.

She didn’t seem completely opposed to the idea , especially with her reaction to her negative test. They just had to move toward the common ground together on their own.

Plus, it’s not like I had any fucking experience worth throwing in to help them figure it out.

And never would.

So, I’d busy myself in other ways.

More pleasurable ways, if I was lucky.

I hadn’t seen Zeke since he slid out of my bed sometime in the morning before the sun came up to go do something dark and spooky for the crew.

I contemplated calling him. Or texting him something witty. Sexy? Seductive?

Rounding the shop between the barracks and Carly’s cottage, I pulled out my phone with the intention to try anyway despite knowing nothing about seduction.

I wasn’t totally sure what went on inside the ominous building between our homes, but the aura coming off of it led me to believe I never wanted to end up inside.

I pulled up my message app and watched the cursor blink at me, waiting for the seduction to roll off my thumbs and into hyperspace on its way to Zeke, but I was blank.

“Cut it out.” A voice snapped from the side door of the shop, where a black box truck was backed up to the entrance. “I said fucking stop it.”

I kept on the path to the barracks, but couldn’t tear my eyes away from the truck as I moved around it .

That voice.

There were men unloading boxes from the truck, and some of them nodded to me, with slightly guilty looks on their faces, as they caught me staring. They were crew members whom I’d never been introduced to but knew from their coming and going from the estate.

“Pick it up.” One of the men snapped, using his boot to kick a box across the ground toward the door. “You’re taking forever.”

“They’re fucking heavy.” That same familiar voice cut back with venom. “And it doesn’t help when your boys fucking throw them at me from ten feet up.” The voice walked out from behind the truck with a box three times the size of him in his arms, covering his face.

But I recognized the ratty black hoodie with holes along the sleeves.

“Kade?” I called, turning back, and going to the truck. The men unloading the boxes stopped as the young kid from the street the other day dropped the box and scowled at me.

“You?” He snapped. “Are you fucking following me?”

“Hey!” A large voice boomed from the back of the truck, and Jed jumped down, landing powerfully on both feet. “I know I didn’t just hear you talk to her like that.” Jed grabbed Kade’s hoodie and pulled him back to face him. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Hey!” Kade cried, scrambling to get free as he stared up at one of the most intimidating men he’d probably ever seen.

“Jed!” I clawed at his arm, trying to loosen his hold on Kade’s sweater as panic filled the young kid’s eyes. I recognized the fight-or-flight burning behind his bright blue irises. I remembered that feeling as I begged Jed, “Let him go.”

“What’s going on out here?” Another voice demanded, with less volume than Jed’s, but with so much more authority. It sent shivers down my spine as it washed over me, calming and simultaneously exciting me .

Zeke.

I swung around to find him walking out of the shop with that perfect scowl on his face as he found Jed and me in a game of tug-of-war with a child.

“Dove.” He said, flicking his glance at Jed and then down to Kade.

“Dove?” Kade mouthed off, and I cringed before the next words came out of his mouth. “I thought you were that big, gnarly biker’s old lady.”

“Shut up.” I snapped, glaring at the kid I had contemplated harming and saving on two different occasions. “If you want to live to see the sunrise tomorrow, keep your smart-ass mouth shut.”

Jed snorted and loosened his hold on Kade’s sweater as I risked a glance up at Zeke.

As expected, that dark scowl was even darker after Kade’s comment about Diesel.

“Wait.” I shook my head, turning back to Kade and effectively removing Jed’s hold completely.

Kade shook free, adjusting his sweater, and I watched as that big tough guy act morphed back into his body language now that my brother wasn’t threatening to clobber him.

“What are you doing here, Kade?” I ignored the imposing men all around us.

“What’s it look like, lady?” The mouthy kid scoffed, “I’m working here.”

“With the crew?” I cried, turning to look at Jed and Zeke, who stood shoulder to shoulder, both staring at me like I had three heads. “He’s a child!”

“Excuse you.” Kade reacted as if he was offended. “I’m not a fucking child. Just because you’re middle-aged—”

“Enough.” Zeke snapped domineeringly, and both Kade and I shrunk a little under his stare. “How do you know each other? ”

“We don’t.” Kade snapped. “She’s a stalker trying to kidnap me and turn me into a skin suit.”

I pushed the kid on the shoulder, frustrated with his smart mouth, and enjoyed the look of outrage as it covered his face. “I stepped in and saved him from getting his ass beat by some kids the other day.”

“Wrong.” Kade snapped, and I suddenly had the image of my hands around his neck, shaking him. “Her big, bad biker man saved me. She just mouthed off to them as the bike man scared them off.”

“You don’t value your life, do you?” Jed questioned with a raised brow as Zeke glared at me.

“You can’t have him here.” I ignored the overwhelming judgment from Zeke, Jed and the other crew members watching the entire shitshow unfold. “He’s too young.” I felt outrage building inside my body. “He was dealing drugs the other day and nearly got his ass beat doing it. He’s just a kid!”

“You want me to fire him?” Zeke asked emotionlessly. “Fine. You’re fired.” He nodded to Kade. “Get the fuck out.”

“Are you serious?” Kade cried, throwing his hands up in the air. “That’s not fucking fair! I work my ass off for this crew!”

Zeke didn’t even bother looking at the kid again as he stared at me, and suddenly I got the feeling that I was the one in trouble. “Are you happy now?” Zeke asked me. “Does it soothe the injustice of it all for you?”

“Maybe.” I deflated a bit as Kade paced back and forth angrily. “Not really.”

“Good.” Zeke deadpanned. “Because without this job, without this crew ,” He pointed his finger towards Kade as he angrily towered over me, “He doesn’t eat!

So, if your morality can’t handle the fact that the street kid does street kid shit to survive, then maybe you can stomach the fact that you just took away his chance of existence. ”

“Zeke.” Jed warned, watching Zeke wind up even more in anger.

“I didn’t—” I swallowed, feeling small and guilty.

“No, you didn’t.” Zeke snapped, “You didn’t stop to think that this crew is the only chance he has.”

“He’s a kid.” I whispered as stupid tears burned behind my eyes.

“Most of us were kids when we got in. I was younger than he is.” He leveled and I let my gaze roam over the crew members staring at me, finding confirmation in their eyes. “Without this, none of us would have survived.”

I took a step back from him, not recognizing his anger now that it was coming toward me. Not once had his rage been aimed my way before. I hated the way it made me feel.

I hated the hurt that bloomed from it.

“Just because this world chewed us all up and spit us out, doesn’t mean we should help it do it to others.

” I said, and some of the darkness in Zeke’s eyes lessened.

I looked at Jed and pleaded with him to understand me.

“What’s the point of bringing new life into this world if you’re going to let kids fall victim to it? ”

Maybe it was a low blow.

Maybe it was the practicality he needed so he could understand mine and Carly’s view on it, but my brother’s shoulders deflated, picking up what I meant through my cryptic message.

Now I was angry. I was angry about the injustice of it all.

I was angry at the cruelty of it all. Mimicking their wisdom-imparting stances, I squared my shoulders, and deepened my scowl, feeling their authority settle upon me.

“If the kid is hungry, feed him.” I gritted my teeth as more fury burned.

“When did you two climb so high that you forgot to look back down at the ones beneath you once in a while?” And then I walked the fuck away before I did something stupid.