Page 39 of Laila Manning (Shadeport Crew #3)

“ T ell me what you meant about no one helping you.” Zeke said, tightening his fingers on my thigh as we drove through the dark city streets of Shadeport.

He found me at Lux, and I had half expected his anger when he showed up. Hell, I’d been ready to match his anger with my own.

But he was only gentle and understanding. Firm and protective, but understanding.

“Just in life.” I shrugged, trying to avoid the memories that burned behind my eyes like a horrific movie.

“When I got to you, you weren’t all there.” He said, glancing over at me as I looked at him questioningly. “You were disassociated from your surroundings.”

“How do you know that?” I wondered out loud.

“Because there was no life left in your eyes.” He held my stare as he drove without caring for the surrounding traffic, like a pro. “There was no warmth or even fear. You were hollow. ”

“That’s a cruel thing to say.” I deflected, looking back out the window.

“Not if it’s the truth.”

That was the thing about Zeke, he was unapologetically curious about me. Even when it was rude or difficult. He pushed.

He prodded.

He investigated.

At first, I used to get bothered by it. I felt like he was trying to pry into the dark and disgusting parts of me, like I was some experiment he was trying to solve. But the more he did it, the more he questioned the why behind the what, I realized he was trying to know me .

I couldn’t remember another time in my life when someone actually tried to know me. Not just the things that happened to me or what I could offer to them.

So, I took a deep breath and faced my anxiety head-on in light of his devotion.

“I escaped once.” He didn’t say anything, but a tense pause settled in his muscles where his hand still lay on my thigh.

“It was before I ended up at the brothel. I don’t really remember when exactly.

But I lived in this run-down motel room with three other girls.

” Just talking about the room made the rotten smell of the carpet invade my senses, like I was right back there.

“One night I escaped from a passed-out John, who left his car keys and wallet in his pants pockets on the floor.” I remembered the fear pumping through my body that night as I eyed them for an hour before I got brave enough to make a move.

“I made a break for it and managed to get into his car and take off in the middle of the night.”

“What happened?” He asked with that calm seriousness he always had when he was in business mode.

The memories of that night assaulted me even as I tried for indifference.

Looking out the window, I shrugged my shoulder.

“I crashed the car a couple of miles away. I didn’t have much driving experience, and with all the adrenaline—” I sighed, “It was a crowded city street, kind of like this one. I got out of the car wearing a dirty oversized t-shirt and nothing else, not even shoes.” A shudder ran through me as I recalled my fear that night.

“People lined the streets, going in and out of clubs and bars, and I begged someone to help me. I told them I’d been kidnapped and assaulted—but no one would even make eye contact with me. ”

“Jesus.” He grunted, tightening his hand on the steering wheel.

“The cops showed up, and I thought that I’d finally found my saviors to end the hellish ordeal for good.

” I swallowed down the pain, “But they called the guy who owned the car, and he convinced them that I was his daughter who was mentally unstable and had stolen his car.” I sank into the seat under the weight of it all.

“My pimp showed up with him and dragged me back, kicking and screaming, in the middle of a crowded street, and no one did a damn thing to help me. Right before he slammed me back into his car, one of the cops, a woman, sneered at me and said, prostitutes weren’t allowed to cry rape. ”

“I’m so sorry, Laila.”

“I think that’s why I can’t just let this go with Kade.” I turned to look at him in the dark car, and he was staring back. “I think that’s why I can’t seem to just turn away when he’s desperately in need of help.”

“I get it now.” Zeke nodded, glancing back at the road as we turned back into East Valley. “I understand the depth of it now.”

“I didn’t.” I admitted, “Until right now.”

“Most of the time, we don’t grasp why we do what we do in the moment until we take time to sit back and think it through. Talk it out. ”

“Maybe.” I mused, “Or maybe there’s just something about you always digging around in my head, knowing all of my darkest secrets that brings it out.

” I tried joking, bringing up what I said to him that day on the sidewalk, but instantly regretted it when I remembered what I was doing when he found me that day.

When I remembered whose house I was standing outside of.

“You’re doing it again.” He gently squeezed my leg, and I noticed he passed the turn to Ryker’s estate, taking the next street instead. The street that skipped the Senator’s home. “Drifting away into yourself.”

“You know, don’t you?” I watched the warm streetlights blur as we passed the houses.

Zeke sighed and turned down the next street, taking us back toward Ryker’s estate. “I think I know a small part of it.”

“I wish you didn’t know any of it.” I admitted sadly.

“I wish none of it had been done to you in the first place.” He asserted, parking his car next to the garage and turning it off, leaving us bathed in darkness and silence.

“You don’t have to cut yourself open any more than you already have tonight, Dove.

” He took my hand in his and raised it to his lips.

“But I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t wish I knew the facts so that I could protect you from any more hurt.

” He sighed, “So you aren’t left vulnerable like you were at the gala ever again. ”

“I don’t want to feel like a child, always being watched.” My past meant I knew I’d always be treated cautiously, so my argument lacked conviction.

“You don’t get it, do you?” He gently shook his head and then kissed each of my fingertips.

“I’m not watching you like a child, Laila.

” He dropped our hands to his lap and stared directly at me until I could feel his gaze in my heart.

“I’m trying to worship you like a goddess, worthy of every single second of my attention simply because you exist, and I’m so fucking obsessed with you I have no choice but to focus on you.

” He leaned over the center console and slid his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me to him until our foreheads pressed together, breathing the same air.

“What I’m offering you is my devotion . My loyalty in protecting you, in honoring you, in caring for you isn’t one out of pity or guilt.

It’s out of admiration.” He pressed his lips to mine, “One out of love.”

“Zeke.” I gasped against his lips, physically moved by his declaration.

“Don’t say anything.” He spoke gently, rubbing his thumb over my jaw. “I didn’t realize how deeply in love with you I was until you left me today, so I don’t expect you to say it back. But I didn’t want you to misunderstand what I feel for you as anything other than love, ever again.”

“Thank you.” I whispered, unable to form any other words as his moved through my brain and heart. “Thank you.”

I worked my shift at Neat, learning as much as I could as I tried to focus on anything but what was happening out on the streets outside the building.

There was no identifiable source of what caused the repetitive loop of intrusive thoughts I was stuck in, but I couldn’t get out of it.

Honestly, if I looked at my entire life for the last ten years, I could get a pretty good idea, but still, there had been no recent trigger .

Nonetheless, I was stuck on a hamster wheel imagining the worst of the worst happening to everyone I loved, right outside the doors of Neat. And it was making it hard to function.

Was it some dark and twisted version of a sixth sense, or was it trauma?

I’d put twenty on trauma.

Nicole, the head bartender, nudged me on her way past with a bottle of high-end whiskey. “Hey girl, you’re all set. Beat feet.”

“Oh, thank God.” I joked, wiping my hands on a towel as I stared down at the dozens of glasses I’d just washed. “I was afraid my fingerprints were never going to return if I washed anymore.”

She chuckled and shrugged, “Newbie dues. You’ll be off them once the next person starts training, and then you can pass the dish towel off and never look back.”

“Good to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.” Using the register, I clocked out and pulled out my phone to order a ride. “I’m going out the back, do you need me to take anything to the dumpster?”

“Yeah, take that garbage, if you don’t mind.”

“Got it.” I tied the bag closed and walked away with a wave, eager to get out of the bar and into the fresh air.

Even though the fresh air smelled like trash as I neared the full dumpster.

It was almost dark out, but there was still a serene peacefulness to the sky as it started turning purple above the city lights.

At least, there was if you could ignore the smells and sounds of the city too.

I wasn’t a big fan of living near the city, but there was a stark difference in the vibes of East Valley, even if it was only ten minutes from downtown.

I guess money bought serenity.

As I swung open the gate to the dumpster fence, three shadowy figures jumped in surprise around the side, making me freeze mid-step .

Drugs.

Doing or selling, I couldn’t tell. But I was between them and the exit, and that wasn’t good.

“Fuck you looking at, bitch?” One of the figures snapped with aggression as he walked out of the shadows.

“Just taking the trash out.” I murmured, trying to calm my erratic heart rate as I shoved the gate open all the way. “Go about your business.”

“My business.” The man sneered, rounding the dumpster and standing in my way of it, “You’re fucking with my business.” He was twice my size and looked dirty and diseased, making me shiver as he got closer.

“You should get a better office.” I snapped back, running off pure adrenaline and anxiety. Or maybe I was running off of trauma and mental illness, who the fuck knew. But either way, that was not the best thing to say, when all I really wanted was to leave, unnoticed.

“Maybe you should learn your fucking place.” He pointed his fingers at me, shaped like a gun as he grabbed his belt. “Maybe I’ll help teach you a lesson.”

My mouth was as dry as sandpaper as I took a step backward across the wet pavement. I watched as the two other figures came out of the shadows, wiping their noses and looking a little less clear-eyed. I was terribly outnumbered and—angry.

I was so damn angry at being caught in the stupid situations, over and over again, just like this one.

“Wait.” One of the nose wipers said, pushing his way out to look at me through red, glossy eyes. “Fuck. It’s you.” He was young, maybe barely eighteen, but unlikely, and looked as dirty as the first one.

“You know her?” The first druggie snapped, looking me up and down with disdain .

“Yeah,” The kid said, elbowing the third guy. “Zeke’s girl.”

“Yup.” The third one slurred with a slow nod, “The one with a hard-on for Kade.”

“Zeke?” The first one questioned as my blood ran cold. Were they friends or enemies of Zeke and Kade, or of all of Shadeport, for that matter. “Zeke Evans?” He sneered, “With you?”

The second kid shrugged with a laugh, “I don’t get it either, but yeah, I think she’s related to Jed somehow too.”

The first guy walked closer to me, but I stayed frozen in place, it wasn’t like I’d get away if I tried, in a way it felt like all those times I forced myself to stay still and let it happen in the brothel.

Sometimes fighting back made it hurt worse.

“It’s your lucky day, cunt.” The first guy said, checking his shoulder into mine as he walked by. “Tomorrow won’t be, though, so stay out of my business.”

I clenched my teeth to keep from retorting something smart-mouthed back to him, as it seemed I’d earned my free pass. The other kid went with him, but when the third went to go by, he paused, flicking a glance out after his buddies and then at me.

His slurred speech was painful to listen to, and I wasn’t sure how he was standing on both feet still, but he asked, “Have you seen Kade lately?”

My icy cold hands started sweating instantly when I deciphered the concern behind his blood-shot eyes. “No.” I replied, forcing my tongue off the roof of my mouth, mentally counting the days since I saw him at the estate the day I yelled at Zeke. “A week or so I think. Why? Is something wrong?”

The kid shrugged, looking back after his buddies as one called his name before disappearing down an alley. “He’s not been around much the last few days. That’s weird for him. ”

“Are you in the crew?” I asked, and then quickly tossed the trash into the dumpster as he stumbled away after his friends. “Wait, he hasn’t been around where? Where is he usually?”

He shrugged again, walking in a stumbled pace toward the dark alley I wouldn’t be caught dead in willingly. I had to get my answers from him before he walked into the darkness or I’d never get them.

“Dunno. Around. But not for a few days now.” He slurred.

I stopped following him as the shadows swallowed him up as a million thoughts ran through my head from his cryptic questions and answers.

If Kade’s druggie friends were worried about him, then something was wrong.

Maybe that was why the doomsday feeling had been clinging to my neck like a noose all day long. I had to find him.