Page 36 of King of Ashes (Kingdom of Sinners #4)

PHOENIX

I push deeper into Keira, watching her face transform with pleasure.

Her gray eyes lock with mine, vulnerable and open in a way I haven't seen since we were younger.

I have no illusions that our lives will be the happily ever after we once planned, but at this moment, I have the final piece I lost ten years ago.

The woman I loved. When this moment is done, that piece will be lost again.

"Keira," I whisper, unable to hold back the emotion in my voice.

Her fingers dig into my shoulders as she moves with me, our bodies remembering a rhythm we perfected years ago. It feels like coming home, even as my mind struggles against the sentiment.

Unlike her, I have been with other women. I haven’t loved them. I can’t even remember their names. But even with them, Keira was always in my mind. She’s not the same. Her tits are rounder, her hips broader. But her skin is still silky soft and sweet to kiss.

"Phoenix," she breathes, and hearing my name on her lips breaks something inside me.

I capture her mouth with mine, kissing her deeply as we move together. For the first time since my return, this thing between us is raw and honest. I can’t stop the wish that it could always be like this.

“Oh, God…” Her body tenses, arches beneath me. She comes apart, crying out my name. I don’t want this to end. Not yet. But her pussy grips my dick and I have no choice. My orgasm whips through me like a storm.

We lie tangled together afterward, her head resting on my chest, my fingers tracing patterns on her bare skin. I don't want to leave her bed. I don't want to retreat back into revenge. But that is the reality of our lives.

Oh, sure, we’ll share a bed once we’re married. We’ll have sex. Maybe we’ll have children. But I know that this moment is the last time we’ll be Phoenix and Keira of ten years ago. I’m happy that we’ve given ourselves this gift, even as my heart rips at the loss of it again.

I wake with a jolt. For a moment, I'm disoriented. This isn't Keira's room. I'm back in my own bed, alone. For the last couple of nights, I’ve relived the other night with Keira. My dreams aren’t as sweet as the real thing. In fact, they torment me only because I know they aren’t real.

Today's the day. My wedding day. We finally are going to have what we planned for ten years ago, but now it’s tainted.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed focused on completing the plans that started ten years ago as I watched my house, my life, go up in flames. I stand under the shower spray, letting hot water pound against my shoulders.

But like in my dreams, that last night with Keira haunts my waking moments too. That moment had felt like stepping back in time, before betrayal and vengeance consumed me. For those hours, I remembered what it was like to want something beyond retribution.

"Fuck," I mutter, lifting my face into the spray of hot water as if that will wash away all the pain I’ve endured… all the pain I’ve caused. And again, I wonder, could we get back what we lost?

I dress in a black suit, a crisp white shirt, and a blood-red tie.

The mirror reflects a man I barely recognize anymore.

Polished, dangerous, powerful. But beneath that exterior, doubt creeps in.

Am I making a mistake? Not the marriage itself.

That's necessary for our position in Boston.

But my shifting feelings for Keira complicate everything.

I've spent ten years hardening myself against the Keans, against her. Now I'm questioning all of it.

My phone buzzes with messages from my brothers. Last-minute security details. Confirmation that all the families will attend. Business as usual, even on my wedding day.

I adjust my tie, straightening it unnecessarily. My hands aren't steady, and that infuriates me. Phoenix Ifrinn doesn't get nervous. He doesn't hesitate.

Yet here I stand, caught between the man I've become and the man I once was. Between vengeance and something that feels like hope.

I take a deep breath and reach for my watch, my father's watch, salvaged from the ashes of our old life. The weight of it grounds me, reminds me of why we fought our way back to Boston.

But as I fasten it around my wrist, Keira's face flashes in my mind. Not the defiant woman who threw champagne in my face, but the girl who once looked at me like I made the world turn. Made the sun rise. Like I was everything.

With a last look in the mirror, I tell myself to get my shit together. There’s no place for longing or sentiment. It only makes me weak, and today of all days, I need to be strong. Cruel, even.

I join my brothers in my office as the rest of the house is in a whirl of activity. Ash, Flint, and Blaise are already dressed in matching black suits with blood-red pocket squares, a nod to our family's rise from the ashes.

"There he is." Flint raises a glass of whiskey. "The man of the hour."

Ash claps me on the shoulder. "How're you holding up?"

"Fine," I say automatically, accepting the glass Blaise hands me.

Their presence steadies me. These men, my brothers, are why I’ve done everything I have over the last ten years.

Barely twenty-one, I became the head of the family.

They looked to me for guidance and leadership, and I’ve done all I can to provide that.

Have I fucked up at times? Yes. But ten years later, here we are.

My brothers are married, fathers, and we’re standing in the place that had been ours before Hampton Kean ripped it away.

We fought, bled, and clawed our way back to this moment together.

"To the Ifrinn brothers," Blaise says, raising his glass. "Back where we belong."

We drink, and the whiskey burns a path down my throat.

I should feel triumphant. Today marks our complete return to power.

The loyalty pledge will cement our position in Boston's underworld.

Every family that once turned their backs on us will kneel.

And the marriage will ensure greater stability between Kean factions who accept the new regime.

"The families are arriving," Ash says, checking his phone. "Security's in place."

Flint nods. "I've got men stationed at every entrance. No one's getting in without clearance."

"And the Keans?"

"Ready for their grand appearance. They'll be brought up right before the pledge." Blaise laughs. “Mrs. Kean demanded a different dress and diamond jewelry.”

“She deserves a potato sack,” Flint says.

“How’s Keira?” Ash asks, his expression concerned. Perhaps he’s worried I feel like he did as he married Hannah. Forced into something he didn’t want. In the end, it turned out well for him and Hannah. I don’t expect that for me and Keira even if it would be nice.

“Fine, as far as I know.” The image of Keira's face when I left her bed the other night flashes through my mind. I swear there was hope mingled with wariness. Like she wished for something better but like me knew it wasn’t possible. Not with all this violence and betrayal between our families.

"You sure you want to go through with this?" Ash asks quietly, studying my face. "The marriage, I mean."

The question catches me off guard. "Why wouldn't I?"

Flint exchanges a look with Blaise. "You've been different lately. With her."

"We've noticed," Blaise adds. "You look at her like…"

"Like what?" I challenge.

"Like you used to," Ash finishes. "Before everything went to hell."

I turn away, staring at the amber liquid in my glass. "It's complicated."

"It doesn't have to be," Flint says. "If you actually care about her?—"

"She's a Kean," I snap, but the words lack conviction.

The truth is, I can imagine a future with Keira now.

A future beyond revenge and power plays.

Something real. But trust is a luxury I can’t afford, not when I'm certain she's still hiding something from me. Oh, sure, I believe her when she said she was off to see Brigit that first night. But there’s something else going on. Maybe it’s not another man, but there’s something.

I can feel it in my bones. And when that shoe drops, I’ll be glad I’ve kept my guard up instead of having my heart broken again.

"Listen," I say, meeting each of my brothers' eyes in turn. "I know what I'm doing. This marriage isn't just about Keira or the Keans. It's about our family, about securing what should have been ours all along."

"We've fought too hard to get here," I continue, straightening my shoulders. "Everything we've done, every sacrifice we've made, was to restore the Ifrinn name. To take back what's rightfully ours."

Ash nods, his expression softening. "We know, Phoenix. We're with you."

Looking at my brothers, I'm struck by how much they've endured. They should have had different lives, lives where they didn't have to become warriors before they were men. Where they didn't have to rebuild from ashes.

"You all deserve better than what we got," I say, my voice rough with emotion I rarely allow myself to show. "The lives we should have had were stolen from us. But I promise you this. What we build now will be stronger than what we lost."

Blaise refills our glasses. "To the future of the Ifrinn family.”

"To legacy," Flint adds.

"To brotherhood," Ash finishes.

I raise my glass. "To Mom and Dad, and a new beginning."

We drink together, and in that moment, I feel both the glory and the tragedy of our lives. I will lead us forward, not just to reclaim what was lost, but to build something greater.

I lead my brothers into the ballroom. Every family of consequence in Boston stands before me, dressed in their finest, watching with wary respect. Shortly, we’ll have a wedding. But first, I need to show them who is boss and how I can be as merciless as Hampton Kean.

I stand near the tarp my men have laid on the fancy marble floor. "Bring them in," I command, my voice echoing across the room.