Page 72 of Kilgannon #1

Alex laughed harshly. “That will be the day, Donald. If yer threatening me, man, say it out. Are ye saying that if we do not join with ye, ye will try to burn me out?”

“We will burn ye out.”

The MacGannon men reached for their weapons, but Alex stopped them with a gesture and turned back to Sir Donald, speaking very slowly. “I canna believe this from ye, Donald. Yer great-uncle to my sons, and yet ye say ye will burn me out if I do not join ye.”

The MacDonald nodded. “Aye.”

Alex lifted his chin. “I would like to see ye try.” They glared at each other while their men shifted uneasily. Angus scanned the faces of the men opposite him, his hand nearing his knife. Alex poured more whisky with a steady hand. “I think ye should rethink yer position, Donald,” he said mildly.

To my surprise, the MacDonald roared with laughter. “Ye’ve a bit of yer grandfather in ye. I miss the bastard.”

“Aye.” Alex smiled, but his eyes never left the other man’s face as Sir Donald emptied his glass and placed it on the table, turning it slowly between his fingers.

“Alex, do ye remember staying with me before ye wed Sorcha?”

“Aye.”

“And do ye remember us talking about history, lad? About Scotland, about the Romans and Robert the Bruce and Kenneth MacAlpin and how victors win?” Alex nodded, and the older man leaned forward again, his tone weary.

“Do ye remember how many times ye told me that the tragedy of the Gaels is that they do not unite?”

“Yer using my own arguments, Donald.”

“Aye, because they are good arguments,” Sir Donald said, and sighed.

“Alex,” he continued, his voice heavy now, no longer threatening.

“If we do no’ unite we are doomed. If we band together we may win our independence.

Can ye sit idly by and know ye could help yer own but refused?

Can ye watch us fail because ye would not lift a hand for Scotland?

Will ye no’ join us and try one more time to set yer country free?

I thought I knew ye, laddie, but the man I knew would not sit by and watch us struggle without him.

” He shook his head. “I have no more words, Alex. We need ye. We need yer brain and yer courage and yer men. Help us. And if ye do not …” He pushed his chair back and rose.

“God help ye.” His words echoed against the stone.

Alex stood and extended his hand to the older man. “Good day to ye, Donald MacDonald,” he said calmly. “And safe journey home. Ye’ll have my answer shortly.”

The other men stood as well. The MacDonald nodded, clasped Alex’s hand, and left the room without another word. His men followed him. We waited in silence until the clatter of their footsteps faded away.

“When they’re gone, Thomas,” Alex said evenly, with a glance at Angus, “light the torches. Call the clan.” Both Thomas and Angus nodded.

Alex turned to the other men. “Leave us now.” They were gone at once and Alex, with a sigh, picked up Malcolm’s letter.

“Ye ken what this will be,” he said. Both Angus and I nodded.

Alex read the letter, then read it again before handing it to Angus with an abrupt gesture.

“Show Mary.” He spun away from the table, tossing a chair out of his path.

It clattered to the floor with a din. Mo Dia he snarled, “the only thing they’ve left out is my father’s ghost.” He stalked out of the room.

I stared after Alex, then turned to Angus and watched him read the letter. He handed it to me. “It’s as I thought,” he said. I read it for myself. Malcolm had written that Mar threatened to destroy his holdings and drive him out if he did not join Mar.

Alex, we have, had differences in the past, Malcolm wrote, but I forgave you long ago and ask you now to come to the aid of your only brother.

Let us put the past behind us and begin again.

I beg you, for the name we share, come to my assistance.

You cannot refuse to help me keep what little I have when you have so much.

I was instantly furious. How dare Malcolm forgive Alex when all the wrong was his?

How dare he write so to his brother after all he had done?

And how well he knew Alex, to write just what would tug at him; How I despised the man.

I met Angus’s angry eyes. “Is there no way to combat this?” I demanded.

“No,” he said. “It is true. Mar is threatening his vassals.” “You are going to join the rebellion.” His voice was weary. “It’s Alex’s decision.” I shook my head. “No. He’ll turn it over to the clan. You know what will happen. Angus,” I cried, “help me stop this!”

“Mary, we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’ t.

If we dinna join with them and the Jacobites win, then we are enemies and we will pay the price.

All of Kilgannon will pay the price. They have thousands, between the MacDonalds and Clanranald.

Eventually they would win. And if the Jacobites lose, then it will be the English coming to burn us out, surrounded as we are by Jacobites.

The English willna take the time to sort out our politics.

No, lass, we sink with the others or swim with them.

” I shook my head. “Mary,” he said harshly.

“What I think or ye think no longer matters. We’ve a decision to make that involves the whole of us.

What we decide tonight will determine the future of clan MacGannon.

And I dinna like either of the choices.” He turned on his heel and left me alone.

I stared after him, still holding Malcolm’s letter.

It took me an hour to find Alex, walking on the rocks at the far end of the loch. He held his arms out as I ran to him, and I looked back at the castle from the shelter of his arms. Kilgannon I thought. “Alex—” I began, but he shook his head.

“Hush, lass,” he said softly. “Dinna speak. Let me just hold ye and not face it yet.” And so we stood on a rock and let the late-summer sun bathe us in light.

Around us the activity increased and the clansmen began arriving.

I knew he could see them, but he held me to him as though we had forever.

“I’m glad ye were there,” he said at last. “It would have been difficult to explain it to ye. And I’m grateful ye were wise enough to remain silent. ”

“You are going.”

“That is yet to be decided.”

I shook my head. “You decided in that room.”

He dropped his arms from my shoulders. “No.”

“Yes.” He was silent, watching me. “Alex,” I cried, “think of us! Think of all of us! We can defend ourselves. You’ve told me how safe Kilgannon is, how easy it: is to defend. We can sink a boat and prevent any ship from entering the harbor, and we can stay within the walls when there is danger.”

His voice was quiet. “Forever? Forever, Mary?”

“For as long as it takes. If the rising fails, they will not have the strength to attack us. They will forget and we’ll go on.”

“That’s where yer wrong. They’ll never forget. Glencoe was over twenty years ago and it’s as if it were yesterday. If MacDonald declares us enemies, they will never forget. And neither will the English.”

“Then we will defend ourselves.”

“And what of those in the outlying areas? Am I to wall myself up and let them fend for themselves? And never leave? Let Duncan of the Glen and his family be left without my protection? Let them burn Glengannon without lifting a hand? Tell the fishermen they must stay within the walls? We’ll stop all trade and never leave Loch Gannon while we cower within the walls? I dinna think so.”

“The MacDonald wouldn’t attack you.”

“Make no mistake. If he decides we are enemies, he will.”

“Do you know that you are contemplating treason?”

“Treason?” He faced me again, his eyes cold.

“If you join them, you will be taking arms against your king.”

“Mary,” he said, watching my face, “understand me well. I am not fond of the Stewarts, but never have I thought of your Geordie as my king. Scotland is my country, not England.”

“They are united now. It is treason.”

“Only the English would call it that.”

“I am English.”

“Aye,” he said, his jaw tightening. He looked over the-loch.

“It is treason, Alex. Can you not see that?”

“Aye, as the English define it, it is treason.”

“If the English win, you will be called a traitor. At best we could lose Kilgannon.”

“That willna happen.”

“It could. You could die. You could face a traitor’s death.”

“That willna happen.”

“It could.”

He shifted his gaze and met my eyes. “And we could win.”

“Against the English? Not likely.”

He lifted his chin. “Do ye think so little of my abilities?”

“No.” I shook my head. “But I think very little of Scotland’s abilities to withstand England.”

“So we are to submit again and this time learn to like it?” Blue eyes flashed at me. “Is that yer opinion, Mary? Do ye really think so little of my people?”

I waited until I could answer in a reasonable voice. “They are now my people too, Alex. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to risk losing you.”

“Ye’d not lose me.” He looked over the loch.

“You cannot guarantee that. If you loved me you’d stay here.”

He looked at me. “I do love ye, lass. Dinna say such things.”

“Alex, there is no reason to go. Malcolm is not threatened.”

“He is.”

“I don’t trust him. He’s lying again. ”

“Aye, Mary, he is a liar, but he’s also my brother. Would ye have a husband who refuses to help his own?”

“I don’t trust him. Think of what he’s done! He’s lied and stolen from you, and he tried to kill you! He is a monster!”

“Ah, Mary, ye dinna understand him.”

“You are defending him? After what he did to Sibeal? After the Diana? He’s lying again. How can you not see this?”

“I am no’ defending him, Mary. Mar has written to all his vassals. I’ve heard it from several sources. I am not surprised.”

“Then perhaps that part is true, but how can you trust him? After he stole from you? After he lied to you?”

“Mary, ye do no’ understand. It’s no’ a matter of me trusting him or no’. I inherited everathing. The title, the lands. It’s verra hard on a younger son. He got—”

“He got your mother’s lands, for which most men would be grateful.

He got a wife who loved him, to whom he could not be faithful and to whom he showed only brutality when she complained of it.

He got money and other aid from you even after he stole from you, and still it Is not enough for Malcolm MacGannon. ”

“Malcolm is my brother. I canna ignore his plea.”

“Why not, Alex? You seem to be able to ignore mine easily. Do you choose Malcolm over me?”

“No, Mary, I wouldna do that. But I canna ignore him.”

“Then you are a fool, Alex, and God help you both.”

His eyes grew cold as he looked at me, then nodded curtly. “Aye, Mary, I am a fool. In that at least we agree” was all he said before he left me standing there.

The men of the clan met that evening. I was not invited nor did Alex come to me.

I sat in our room and fumed. I knew he would go.

Some part of me had known it since the day the MacKinnon came, but it was still difficult to face.

I was so angry. At Alex, at Malcolm, at the MacDonald and James Stewart and all men who wage war without a thought to those whose lives are upturned by it.

Or lost. Dear God, I thought, he could die for James Stewart, for Malcolm, for the MacDonald.

And then my fear was lost in the wave of anger that broke over me again.

I did not even pretend to steep but paced and paced until I heard the whole house quiet.

Where is he, I wondered? And my anger rose again and I paced.

In the early morning I could not stand it another moment and left our room.

The hall was littered with men wrapped in their plaids, snoring, and I quietly made my way to the library.

Angus sat before the fire, his legs extended to the hearth, his chin on his hand.

He looked very tired and he was alone. He looked up as I entered. “He’s not here, Mary,” he said.

“Where is he?”

“I dinna ken. Walking, no doubt. He’s not in the house.”

I moved to stand next to him. “Angus, what will we do?”

“Hope we win.”

“Then you’re going?”

He looked at me gravely. “Had ye any doubt?”

“Did any of you even think of us who will be left behind?”

Angus met my angry look without flinching. “Aye, Mary, ye crossed our minds. Do ye think that we do not know what we do?”

“Angus,” I cried, “there is a great excitement in the men. They want to go. I recognize it, but I do not understand it.”

He looked at me for a long moment, then sighed. “Aye, yer right, Mary, there is excitement for many, but not for Alex nor for me. We understand what it is we go to. Ye must trust us, lass. We do not go for glory.”

“You go for Malcolm.”

“No.” It was Alex’s voice, and I spun around. He filled the doorway, looking exhausted and grim. “We go for honor, Mary, and for loyalty, and if ye dinna understand both, I have misjudged ye. ”

“There is honor in staying here and protecting your own.”

“That is not honor. And in the end it is certain defeat. If the rebellion wins without us, we will be driven out. If it loses without us, we will be hunted and destroyed to calm their anger and then the English will come.”

“We can remain neutral,” I said. “We can stand aside and let them fight around us.”

“No. We canna.”

“You mean you will not.” We glared at each other.

“As ye will, Maty,” he said, and turned away. I let him go and returned to my bed alone.