Page 55 of Kilgannon #1

M ALCOLM AND SIBEAL ARRIVED ON A MACDONALD ship bound for Skye.

The MacDonald crew stayed for a meal, joking and laughing with the MacGannons, and if any of them noticed that Alex was ashen and quiet they did not comment.

Nor did Matthew, who watched Malcolm, his face shuttered and his eyes wintry.

He seemed to have matured overnight. That there was no affection between Malcolm and Matthew had been apparent for quite a while, but Matthew had never said a word to me about Malcolm, as though we had silently agreed that Malcolm was a topic best left untouched.

As for the newlyweds, their relationship was a mystery to me.

Accustomed as I was to the passion that a look from Alex evoked from me, I could not understand how Sibeal could look with such indifference at the husband she supposedly loved, nor why Malcolm treated her with none of the intensity or affection that one would expect of a recent groom.

Why then, I wondered, had she insisted on marrying him?

There was no sign of a pregnancy on her slim body, nor did she mention it.

Angus was with us again that morning, having arrived with the news of the ship in the loch.

He was silent but watchful. He would not speak of this to Malcolm in front of all of us, I was sure, but what would happen later I could not begin to guess.

Malcolm behaved as if nothing were wrong, as if his brother did not look ghostly pale and his cousins were not throwing looks of enmity in his direction.

He laughed with his usual superior air as he told stories of how backward his tenants at Clonmor were and how inept Sibeal was as a housekeeper.

She smiled without rancor and tried to draw me into a conversation about clothing.

I refused to join her and spent my time watching the men.

Alex spoke little. I knew how tired he was.

During the night I had woken to see him wrapped in a plaid, sitting in front of the fire, staring into the flames.

He had crawled into bed in the early hours but had slept restlessly and had been up before me.

We had not discussed it, but he had reached for my hand when the news of Malcolm’s arrival had come. “Dinna fret, lass” was all he had said.

Malcolm had said nothing of missing the oath-taking, but as Thomas led Malcolm into the hall he had turned to Alex.

The rest of the meal was strained, but uneventful, and soon we were bidding the MacDonalds farewell.

The men walked outside with them while I waited with Sibeal.

And stared at her when she asked if she could go to her room now.

Since we’d had no warning of their arrival, there had been no preparations made, and I was caught off guard by her presumption. Fortunately, Ellen was not.

“Miss Mary,” she said at my side. “Berta says she has put Malcolm and Sibeal in Sorcha’s room.” She smiled mischievously at me. “It only seemed fitting,” she said, and my mood lightened the tiniest bit.

I smiled back at her and asked her to thank Berta.

“I’ll take Sibeal myself,” I said, calm again.

Upstairs we passed the boys on their way to their lesson with Gilbey.

Both of them unnaturally subdued. I stopped to hug them and to tease about some silly thing and was pleased to see their spirits rise in response.

Within moments they were teasing me in return and went off with Gilbey, acting like themselves again.

“They are wonderful,” gushed Sibeal. “Have you thought of having children of your own?”

I glanced at her, thinking of the child I had lost. “Yes, of course,” I said cautiously. “And you? How are you feeling?”

“I feel marvelous. Why would I not?” she trilled as I opened the door and she followed me inside the room that had been Sorcha’s.

It was my least favorite in the castle. The room itself had no grave drawback or unpleasant feature.

It was a large and comfortable room, furnished with taste.

But Sorcha had lived here, and it was in this room that Alex had slept with her and here where their sons had been conceived and where she had told him horrible things and bade him never to return.

It was not a room I spent time in or enjoyed.

It was a private joke, shared by Berta and Ellen and me, that those we disliked were always put into this room, and the message Ellen had brought had been intended to cheer me, which it had.

I smiled to myself as I showed Sibeal the room and she cooed over its comforts.

Berta had been here before me, for everything was clean and a fire had been laid.

“So very lovely!” Sibeal said as she fingered the bed hangings and turned to look at herself in the long mirror. Her slender self.

“And how is the child?” I asked as I went to the window and opened it slightly. The rain that had been threatening all morning had begun falling. In the center of the courtyard Alex, Angus, and Matthew talked. I turned back to Sibeal.

“The child?” Her surprise was evident, but she recovered quickly. “Oh, I lost it.” She turned back to her image.

“How terrible for you,” I said, wondering if it were true.

“Yes, it was. But you know, I simply lay myself down for a nap one afternoon and woke to find the child next to me.” She turned to me with ingenuous eyes. “It was dreadful.”

I stared at her, openmouthed, as I thought of my own miscarriage.

That such a thing had happened I did not believe for a moment.

Such things did not happen. No woman who had miscarried could talk of it in such a manner.

Then I saw the irony of it. She had done me a wonderful favor by removing Malcolm from my everyday life, and she had deceived him in the process.

Malcolm, the deceiver, had been snared very effectively.

I shook my head in wonder but never replied, for we heard shouting through the open window and I leaned through it with a heavy heart to see that what I had feared was real.

Alex and Malcolm were below, in the center of the courtyard, arguing.

Alex stood, arms crossed over his chest, as Malcolm circled him, talking angrily.

Angus came into view then, shouting at Malcolm, who shouted back.

Alex watched the two of them and his arms fell to his sides. He looked defeated.

By the time I reached the courtyard it was empty, and I ran to the outer gate.

They were on the top terrace, unmindful of the rain that had turned into a downpour or of the handful of men who clustered around them uneasily.

Matthew stood grimly to one side, Angus, his mouth in a tight line, next to him, Alex and Malcolm faced each other.

“The truth,” Alex roared, his face red and the cords in his neck standing out. His hands were clenched at his sides. “The truth, Malcolm. Just tell the truth. Or say nothing!”

“I am telling the truth, Alex,” Malcolm shouted back.

“Ye don’t listen. Ye never listen.” He waved a hand in the air as he sneered.

“Of course, ye don’t need to. Yer the earl, yer the chief of the clan.

Ye don’t need to listen to me. Ye listen to Angus and Thomas and all the others, but ye dinna do what I say! ”

“The truth, Malcolm,” Alex roared again. “Tell me the truth!”

“Ye want the truth? The truth is ye have everything! Everything! I have nothing. Nothing! Ye have no idea of what a hell my life has been. No idea, Sibeal lied to me. To me! There was no child. It was a trick! My whole life has been a hell!”

Alex’s voice was taut. “And so that’s why ye poisoned me.”

“No! Yer not listening. Ye never listen!”

“And so that’s why ye poisoned me.”

“Ye wouldn’t give me the ship back! How was I to make money?”

“And so that’s why ye poisoned me.”

“I have told ye this, Alex,” Malcolm said, emphasizing each word. “I will not tell ye again. It was an accident.”

“Aye, so ye say. An accident.”

“Aye,” Malcolm said. “Yer making much more of this than it needs to be. Ye were fine. Just a day or so—” He turned as Angus moved toward him. Alex stopped Angus with a gesture.

“I am confused,” Alex said coldly. “Why would my own brother try to kill me? ”

Malcolm threw his hands up in the air, “For Christ’s sake, Alex, I dinna try to kill ye.” He leaned into Alex’s face and tilted his head. “If I had tried to kill ye, dear brother, ye would be dead now.” Alex did not flinch. Matthew started forward and Angus put a hand on his arm.

Alex’s tone was the same one he had used with Robert in Kent, the effort it cost him to keep control visible.

“Be verra careful, Malcolm. Whether ye like it or not, yer actions almost killed me, and for a year I’ve been trying to blame it on everyone else, including the Stewarts.

And all along it was ye.” His voice dropped even lower. “It was ye.”

“Ye dinna understand, Alex!” Malcolm shouted.

“Ye never think of anyone but yerself! Do ye have any idea of what it was like to grow up with ye?” His voice grew shrill, mimicking a woman’s voice.

“Alex, Alex, oh, Alex, yer going to be an earl. Alex, yer so wonderful!” Alex watched his brother, his eyes narrowing.

Malcolm wiped the rain out of his eyes and continued.

“And Grandfather and Grandmother doting on ye. All of them, doting on ye. And all the time there I was. With nothing.”

“I gave ye Clonmor.”

“Oh, aye.” Malcolm nodded. “Yer castoffs. Yer generous with yer castoffs. In fact, I wanted to ask ye if Sibeal’s child was yers. It would be just like ye to get there first.”

Alex reached a hand out and grabbed Malcolm’s shirt at the neck.

The speed of it caught Malcolm by surprise, and Alex pulled Malcolm to him, speaking into his face, his words clipped.

“Ye have a disgusting mind, Malcolm. I never touched her. If there is no child that isna my concern. Ye slept with her. And now yer married to her.” He released his brother and shoved him away as his voice rose.

“Is that what this is all about? That I am the older? That I inherit? Ye risked my life because ye don’t like the order of our births?

” He was advancing now and Malcolm was retreating.

“Is that what this is, Malcolm? Jealousy?”

“No,” Malcolm shouted back as he continued to retreat.

“It is about fairness. It is about justice. Look at yerself, Alex, bullying yer brother in the rain. Wouldna Grandfather be proud of ye now?” Alex grabbed Malcolm’s shirt again and held him there for a long moment, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes.

I held my breath. And then Alex released Malcolm and shoved him away. His tone was controlled but wintry.

“Poison is a woman’s weapon, Malcolm. Ye may stay the night. But in the morning ye and Sibeal must be gone. Calum will take ye to Skye. Do not return until I send for ye.”

They glared at each other for a long moment, then Alex turned to leave and saw me standing there. As he passed me I put a hand out, but he shook his head tightly and walked on. Malcolm turned the other way and left, and the men faded away.

I stood in the rain with Angus and Matthew.