Page 19

There’s a hint of a blush creeping across her cheeks and it looks good on her. “Stop. I was not. I was having a breakdown, and the wine wasn’t helping.”

“You were entitled. You were dealing with a lot before you ever stepped foot in the airport, and then you had a lot of crap happen from there.”

Rolling onto her side, she props her head in her hand so we’re facing each other. “Did I tell you my luggage didn’t arrive in Raleigh?”

“Seriously?”

She nods. “I was just like…stick a fork in me. I’m done. Luckily it all got to Vanessa’s the next morning, but by the time I got in the car with her when she picked me up? I was like a deranged lunatic. It’s kind of amazing that she still wanted me to come on vacation.”

“I’m sorry that happened, but it worked out. And of course they all wanted you here. They’ve missed you.” I pause and study her face for far longer than I should. “And I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Because you enjoy watching a train wreck?” she whispers.

“No.” I lean in, closing the distance between us, and she’s not stopping me. “I’m glad you’re here because I enjoyed talking to you on that flight and I felt like I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what you were like when you weren’t in crisis mode.”

Her hand reaches up and rakes through my hair. “I’m not sure this vacation is long enough for you to find out.”

“Challenge accepted,” I murmur, my lips just a breath away from hers.

“Sebastian?”

“Yes?”

“Kiss me.”

“That was the plan.” And then I touch my lips to hers and we both go still before Olivia moves closer.

I think we’re doing this so we can be more natural in front of our friends, but I know that’s a lie.

We’re doing this because that kiss down in the kitchen was freaking electric and we both want more.

And I’m more than happy to oblige.

There’s nothing rushed about this; it’s a subtle exploration.

I reach up and caress her cheek, marveling at the softness of her skin.

My hand moves down her bare arm before coming to a rest on her hip.

Olivia is all soft curves and the one-piece bathing suit leaves little to the imagination.

Her nipples are hard, and I have to fight the urge to smooth my hand up over them.

Now’s not the time; now is about more of an easy exploration and getting comfortable with each other.

But it’s also damn hard not to peel that fabric down and explore even more of her.

I can feel her nails raking through my hair again as we slowly maneuver until she’s on her back and I anchor one leg over hers.

Even though what I want is to position myself over her and then settle between her thighs.

Patience.

I just need to have a little patience.

Her soft hum and the way she’s trying to wrap herself around me tells me I’m not the only one struggling. I break the kiss and stare down at her for just a second before I go back in and kiss her along her jaw and gently nuzzle right behind her ear. She shivers and I know I’ve hit the sweet spot.

“Sebastian,” she whispers, and I can’t tell if she has more to say or if she’s just saying my name in the heat of the moment. But when she says it again, her voice sounds a little less dreamy and I quickly look up.

“Are you okay? Did I do something you don’t like?”

Her eyes soften as she gently strokes my jaw. “Quite the opposite. You’re doing everything I like.”

“But…?”

“But…I don’t think we should do this right now. We came up here to talk and I have a feeling if we keep kissing, we’re not going to stop there.” Sighing, she puts some distance between us. “And it’s going to make things even more awkward if I sleep in here tonight.”

Honestly, I’m not seeing a problem with it, but that’s just lust fogging my brain, I’m sure.

So I put even more space between us. “Um…okay. Sure. Yeah. I get it,” I say, but I sound breathless and almost pained.

Beside me, Olivia sits up. “It’s not like I want to stop. I just think that the time isn’t right. It was one thing to just fake it for our friends; it’s another for us to act on this. Things can get super complicated, and I feel like…”

When she pauses and shakes her head, I’m suddenly beyond curious to know what she’s thinking.

“Liv, whatever you need to say, you can just say it. I can handle it.”

“Okay.” Another sigh. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of you, and that’s not okay.”

I’m pretty sure my jaw’s on the floor and that I can’t possibly be hearing her right.

“You think you’re taking advantage of me?”

There are tears in her eyes as she nods.

“Don’t you see? There’s like some sort of black cloud over my head and you were just being nice and tried to help me out.

Now you’re lying to your friends and are stuck with me.

It’s one thing if I’m just like…you know…

crashing in your room. It’s another if we make this physical.

That has the potential for things to get super weird, and I’d hate that. ”

The correct response would be to agree with her, but…I can’t.

“Or…” I say cautiously. “We acknowledge that there is an attraction here that has absolutely nothing to do with faking it for our friends and we should explore it. Neither of us is going to get hurt because we’re being completely honest with each other.

And just to put your mind at ease, I’m not going to pounce on you later tonight when we come back up here, so please don’t worry. ”

“Um, yeah…that’s not what I was worried about.”

“Okay, then…what? Just tell me and I swear we’ll work it out.”

Her head lolls back as she huffs with frustration.

“Liv?”

Snapping her head forward again, she looks right at me and drops a bombshell. “Maybe I’m worried about me pouncing on you ! What do you think of that?”

I think I’m the luckiest freaking guy in the world!

But I don’t say that.

Although I’m not really sure what I should say because I’d completely welcome the pouncing; hell, I want to encourage it.

But again, I don’t say that.

“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say here,” I admit after a minute.

“I can promise to be respectful and let you set the pace. I can tell you that I won’t touch you at all in front of our friends if that makes you more comfortable.

” I sit up straighter. “This is all new for me too, and I’m sorry if kissing you downstairs made you uncomfortable. ”

I almost want to pat myself on the back for being so kind and understanding, but the look of borderline horror on Olivia’s face tells a completely different story.

“What is your deal, Sebastian?” she demands, scrambling off the bed. “I mean…I don’t get you. You’re a nice guy—that’s a given—but no guy is this understanding and agreeable. So if you’re trying to lull me into a false sense of security, just…just…”

Now I’m offended.

Hopping off the bed on the opposite side, I stare at her. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that this is who I am?”

“Because you were friends with Matt! He never would have hung out with someone this nice!”

Ah. Now we’re getting somewhere.

“Do you think Mike and Zayne are awful? Do you think they’re lying to Vanessa and Loren?”

She rolls her eyes so hard I’m pretty sure she saw her own brain.

“They were all friends long before Matt turned into a sociopath. So no, I don’t think they’re awful.

But you became friends with him when he was in his ultimate sociopath era.

So if you were good with hanging out with him, then there’s something wrong with you too. I just can’t figure out what it is!”

There is literally nothing I can say to that.

I thought my friendship with Matt might be an issue, but not to this extent.

“You know what? I can’t convince you that I’m a good guy when you’ve already made up your mind on some level that I’m not.

I can only be who I am. I get that you’ve been hurt and you have trust issues.

I get it and I’m sorry. But I’m also not going to stand here and defend myself all day, every day.

Either you believe that I’m a good guy or you don’t. That’s on you.”

She doesn’t say a word.

“I guess the ball’s in your court, Liv. In the meantime, I’m heading back downstairs to see what the guys are up to. I’ll see you at dinner.”

I walk out of the room as calmly as I can and let out a long breath before heading down the stairs. Everyone’s out on the back deck, so that’s where I go. Mike takes one look at me, nudges Zayne, and they’re both instantly on their feet.

“Good! You’re finally here!” Mike says a bit too cheerfully. “We were going to test some of the fishing rods Vanessa’s dad has in the garage. Want to come down to the beach with us?”

“Yeah. Sure. Why not?”

I stand and simply breathe in the salty air for a minute and try to calm my nerves.

I don’t have to defend myself to freaking anyone, and I’m certainly not okay with being compared to someone who I wouldn’t have been friends with under normal circumstances.

And on top of that, who is she to do the whole guilt by association thing?

I’m not judging her based on her friends or the fact that she dated the sociopath.

“Dude? You ready?” Zayne asks like it’s not the first time he’s had to say it.

“Yeah. Sorry. My mind wandered.”

“Obviously,” Mike says as the three of us head down the path to the sand. “We don’t have any bait, but we’ve got a crap ton of lures to try out. Plus, it was the perfect excuse to get you alone and figure out what the hell’s going on.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ash, come on,” Zayne says with a snort. “You and Liv were all hot and heavy in the kitchen, but your head looked ready to explode when you stepped out onto the deck.”

“She just compared me to Matt,” I grumble. “Fucking Matt. Nice enough guy when you’re just friends, but his reputation with women was the worst. So now she’s wondering if I’m who I say I am or if I’m secretly going to morph into that guy.”

They both groan.

“I know,” I snap. “How am I supposed to convince her that she’s wrong?”

They both laugh, but I don’t think I said anything funny.

And when they continue to laugh, I demand to be let in on the joke.

“Okay, out with it!”

They exchange glances before Zayne speaks. “Your first mistake is that you want to convince her she’s wrong.”

“But…she is wrong.”

“No,” Mike says. “Never tell a woman she’s wrong. That’s a huge no-no.”

“You’ve lost me.”

“I got this,” Zayne casually offers before looking at me.

He’s got the fishing pole in the sand and he’s holding onto it like some kind of prop.

“Olivia is going to get very defensive and ticked off if you just flat out tell her she’s wrong.

Show her you’re not that guy. It’s really simple.

Especially for you, because there is no one less like Matt than you. ”

“She doesn’t think so.”

“None of us are like Matt,” Mike counters. “We were friends since freaking kindergarten, and he didn’t always have a terrible reputation. That came later on. And he wasn’t as bad as a lot of people like to say he was.”

“He robbed our frat house,” Zayne murmurs. “I mean, we convinced him to bring the stuff back, but you have to admit that was a dick move.”

Matt did a lot of messed up stuff but always talked his way out of everything, making it hard to stay mad at him.

“Oh, it was a total dick move,” Mike agrees, “but…I don’t know…

after a while it was just…it was just Matt.

” For a moment, he just shakes his head.

“Olivia is…she’s probably the only person I’d give a free pass to on holding a grudge.

She and Matt knew each other for a while and even though he cheated on someone to be with her, he really tried to reel in his destructive behavior.

But he always screwed up and made promises, and she gave him far too many chances.

In the end, he was just cruel.” He shrugs.

“Part of me wants to say that’s on her, but… ”

“That’s cold,” Zayne says quietly. “And for the record, we were all pissed at him for that. It’s never cool to treat someone like that—let alone a friend. And we all took a step back for a while.”

“But we always went back.”

Not anymore, I want to say, but that’s obvious. And that puts everything slightly more into perspective. I mean…Matt was definitely no saint, but do we need to keep kicking him now that he’s dead?

“So, how does this help me with Olivia?” I ask after a minute.

“Don’t force her to admit that you’re not like Matt. Just be yourself. I know that’s really not overly helpful, but it’s all I’ve got.” Zayne shrugs and plucks the fishing pole out of the sand. “Do either of you know anything about surf fishing and what lures we should use or if bait is better?”

“I have no clue,” I admit. “The last time I went fishing, I was probably eight years old.”

They both share that it’s about the same for them.

“So…why are we doing this?” I ask, trying not to laugh because we’re all looking at these poles like they’re foreign objects.

“I don’t know. It seemed like a good activity for today.

But maybe we need to put some thought into finding something else to do tomorrow.

Maybe when we go into town tonight for dinner, we’ll see if there’s a bait shop or something.

I don’t mind going in and asking questions, do you guys? ” Mike asks.

I don’t have an issue with it and neither does Zayne and we spend another hour standing in the sand trying to figure out how to cast properly, with little success.

It’s kind of a fun and mindless task, and it keeps me from thinking about Olivia for a while.

By the time we head back up to the house, I’m no closer to knowing how the rest of the day—and night—are going to go.

But I know that I’m not going to overthink it.

I have a feeling Olivia’s going to be doing enough of that for both of us.