Page 10

ASH

L iv’s expression goes from confusion to horror in a nanosecond as she stumbles away from me. I go to reach for her, but she goes directly to Matt’s family, and I’d only be making a scene if I stopped her.

Honestly, I’m beyond shocked that we’re both here for the same funeral. I mean, what are the odds?

I got here late and when I walked into the visitation room and the line was almost done, I was afraid I wouldn’t get to come up and pay my last respects.

Then, when I stepped up and realized I was standing behind Liv, I had to question if I was even at the right funeral.

My head’s still spinning, but out of the corner of my eye, I spot the pastor walking over to the family and know I need to get to my seat.

But first…a goodbye.

Hey, buddy. I can’t believe I’m really standing here saying goodbye.

I know I never told you, but…you changed my life.

I don’t think I can ever repay you for the boost you gave my confidence or how you opened my eyes to all the possibilities in front of me.

So…thank you. Rest easy, my friend. Until we meet again. Amen.

I turn and offer my condolences to Mike’s family before trying to find an empty seat.

Mike and Zayne are sitting with Loren, Roxie, Vanessa, and…

Liv. Mike looks at me and shrugs because there are no vacant chairs in their row, and I end up all the way at the back of the room sitting with people I don’t know.

The pastor steps up and says a brief prayer before the funeral director instructs all of us to move over to the chapel next door.

It’s actually attached by a breezeway, and I consider waiting for the guys or walking alone, but the decision is made for me as the throngs of people begin walking.

I know I’ll catch up with them in the chapel and silently vow to save a row for all of us.

Is it a coincidence that Liv was sitting with them? Like…was she looking for a place to sit and just grabbed the first empty chair or are we seriously friends with the same people?

My head starts to ache because it’s all so bizarre, but I’m not going to get answers until much later.

“Ash! Wait up!” Mike calls out without being too loud. He jogs up beside me, clapping me on the shoulder. “Sorry about the seats back there. The guys on the end went to high school with us and Matt, and we hadn’t seen them in years. Then Olivia showed up and before I knew it, the row was full.”

“It’s not a big deal. And we weren’t in there for that long, so…”

“Are you doing okay? I wasn’t sure you were going to make it and then we saw you comforting Olivia and…” He pauses. “I didn’t think the two of you knew each other.”

Awkward…

And I decide not to mention how I know her because that’s a long story and now isn’t the time.

“I don’t,” I say, sliding my hands into my trouser pockets as the line comes to a halt at the entrance to the chapel. “She was just all alone up there and looked like she needed someone to sort of comfort her.”

I hear his quiet snicker and choose to ignore it.

“Plus, I saw the pastor walk in and wanted to make sure I had a moment to pay my respects to Matt and his family.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to formally introduce you after the funeral,” he says as we’re ushered into the chapel and find a row.

By the time we’re all seated, I’m at one end and Liv is at the other—which makes sense since she’s going to be getting up to speak.

I say a quick hello to Loren, and reach down to shake Zayne’s hand, before offering a small wave to Vanessa and Roxie.

Olivia doesn’t even look my way. Instead, she’s staring at her phone to go over the eulogy, I’m sure. I don’t stare too long because I don’t want to draw attention to myself, so I lean back and sigh.

“This is freaking bizarre,” Mike says lowly. “Like…how? How is Matt gone? I swear it doesn’t feel real, even though we all just saw him in the casket. Part of me kept waiting for him to sit up and say, ‘Psych!’ and then burst out laughing for pulling the ultimate prank.”

I chuckle because that sounds like something he would have done.

“You just never know, right? You never know when your time’s up.” He shakes his head. “His mom said he never had any real health issues, but I have to wonder if all the partying he did contributed to the aneurysm.”

“It’s possible, but we’ll never know. People have them with no history of drug or alcohol use, so it’s all speculation.”

Beside me, he laughs softly. “I know it’s terrible to say, but I always thought he was going to go out in a blaze of glory. Like some girl’s husband or boyfriend was going to do him in after catching them or it would be in some kind of crash while he was drag racing.”

I shake my head. “Was he still doing that? I thought he gave that up.”

“Every once in a while he did it. We just all stopped going because we outgrew it. Matt was like Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up.”

And now he never would.

What a depressing thought.

The organ music begins and we all stand and watch as the casket is wheeled in and Matt’s family walks behind it. The service begins and we grow quiet as we listen to the music, the prayers, a sermon, and then Olivia is introduced.

“And now, Olivia Ashley, a longtime friend of Matteo’s, will come up and say a few words,” the pastor says before stepping aside.

Olivia slowly makes her way up the aisle and steps up to the altar, and I swear I can see her trembling from here. After a long moment, she lets out a breath and looks out at the audience.

“Matt had the kind of smile that made all the girls’ hearts flutter.

Young and old. He was the master of mischief, who was always ready for the next adventure.

I imagine he arrived in heaven and is already making all the angels sigh dreamily.

He was always charming; from the first time I met him in ninth grade biology, I was a little dazzled by him.

When Matteo Serrano walked into a room, people noticed. ”

I watch as she pauses and glances down at her speech, and I can tell she’s trying to keep her emotions at bay.

Meanwhile, I pause and look around and just notice how most of the people in the chapel are women, and it’s hard to hide the eye roll or contain my laughter.

Not that I’m surprised. Matt certainly had a way with the ladies.

I recognize a face or two, but once Olivia speaks again, I turn all my attention to her.

“When I got the call that Matt had died, I didn’t believe it.

It’s not like I believe that we all live forever, but for some reason, I truly thought Matt would.

He was the life of the party, he was everyone’s biggest cheerleader, he loved hard, played hard, and lived hard.

He was the sun and the moon and the stars.

You couldn’t help but be drawn into his orbit once he set his sights on you. ”

Another pause, and this time, Liv wipes away a tear.

“Everyone was his friend, and as I look around and see so many familiar faces here today, I know you all get it. Remember the scavenger hunts?” she asks with a laugh.

“How many times did we essentially terrorize the neighborhood by stealing lawn ornaments? Or the softball games? There were always threats because people thought we were trespassing on school property, but Matt always managed to smooth things over.” She smiles sadly.

“That was another of his gifts—his charm—he could talk his way out of almost anything. I can only imagine the conversation he must have had with Saint Peter when he arrived in heaven. No doubt he tried his best to explain how it wasn’t his time, how he was needed here because there were so many people who loved and cared about him…

so many who would miss him and need his guidance.

Who was going to plan the next Super Bowl party?

What if the Rangers finally won another Stanley Cup and he needed to drive the party bus up to New York?

Who was going to tell all of us that nothing was impossible? ”

The shuddery breath she let out speaks volumes, and I almost wish someone would tell her she didn’t have to keep going.

But she does and looks directly at Matt’s mother.

“He loved you so much,” she says with a gentle confidence that is meant to comfort.

“His love and respect for you were legendary. And because of that, we all grew to love and respect you too. I know I do, and I am so sorry for your loss, so sorry that your world grew dimmer. None of us can imagine the depth of your grief, but I can assure you, we all feel the loss. Matteo was not someone you could easily forget, and we thank you for bringing him into the world, and making our worlds a little brighter, if only for a short time.”

And with that, she gracefully steps down from the altar and hugs Mrs. Serrano before returning to her seat.

I wipe away a stray tear or two and I’m a little in awe of how Liv conveyed so much in such a brief speech.

She captured exactly who Matt was—minus all the bad stuff—and I imagine that was difficult.

But she did it beautifully and I hope I get the opportunity to tell her that after the service.

After all, I kind of feel bad for being a little flippant in the visitation room earlier.

What the hell was I thinking making a joke while we’re standing next to a casket holding the body of our friend?

I loathe myself…

The rest of the service is short and before we know it, we’re on our feet watching Matt’s casket being wheeled out with his family again behind him.

They had requested a private burial so none of us are going, and I’m not sure if anyone’s doing anything afterwards.

I’m about to ask Mike when Loren takes his hand and leads him out of the row.

I guess that means I’ll ask him outside.