Page 35 of It Happened Back Then (Nilsson Family #3)
I ’m alone at the boutique. The bell over the door hasn’t chimed in almost an hour, and the silence is both welcoming yet unsettling. With silence comes thoughts, but some of them are needed. I need to work it all out in my mind.
I sit at the little table near the front, a cup of peppermint tea cooling beside my open laptop.
There’s no work being done now though. Instead I am focusing on last-minute details for January’s bachelorette party and big day.
This wedding is going to be the first big event this family has without my dad.
And for the most part, we’ve been coasting through it.
Excited, happy days of planning, dress fittings, cake tastings, it’s all been fun.
But when the event coordinator at the hall asked for lineups to give to the DJ, the instant drop from euphoria was hard.
The Father of the Bride was an empty slot. I’m not sure any of us gave it much thought up to then, but seeing it sparked grief. January shut down in silence, Meadow disappeared from the room, Mom plastered on that weird smile again, and I had to push on with the list like everything was fine.
But Lief?
Thank god for my brother who always knows how to step up and save the day, in anything we do, just like our dad would have done. Before there could be questions asked, Lief grabbed the pen and filled in his name.
Tears came, but it was okay. We’re all learning how to move forward, still.
I smooth down a name tag sticker on the place cards and smile as I read Lily’s.
“ Flower Girl Extraordinaire.” She already believes she’s the real star of this wedding, so I can assume she’ll be over the moon to see her name displayed on the table.
As I fill out the remaining place cards, I come to mine and what is supposed to be Bennett’s.
I don’t know whether to fill it out or not.
I’ve been thinking about Bennett constantly. His text replays in my head. I have to do something soon, I don’t know what that is, but if we don’t talk this out, Lief is going to lose his mind.
The bell over the door jingles gently, and I see Meadow walk through.
"You know, for someone who swears she hates glitter, you’re awfully covered in it," Meadow says.
“Yeah, well, when your niece says she wants glitter and flower stickers, that’s what you give her.” I dust my hands off and watch little sparkles fill the air.
"You look like a disco ball." She sits in the chair opposite me and places two cups down. “Peppermint tea with ginger. Don’t make that face, it will help with the nausea.”
I raise my half empty mug. "Perfect timing. The peppermint has helped, but ginger?"
"I know it’s gross but trust me. "
She looks around at the glue sticks and name tags, then nods at the stack.
"So this is how you’re ignoring it all? Fill your life with wedding shit and pretend you’re not dying inside?"
I shrug, smiling a little. "You always see through me."
"It’s part of the sister contract. Section 4, paragraph 7. Right after ‘must provide wine in emotional emergencies.’"
“Or in this case, tea.” I laugh, for real this time, and take a sip of the hot tea. “He responded to my text.”
“And?”
“And it’s over.”
She scoffs and sits back in the chair. “The fuck it is.”
I laugh. “Lief said the same thing.”
Her eyes grow wide. “You told him? And Bennett is still breathing?”
I nod. “I kind of had to. He brought me hot chocolate; by the way thank you. He didn’t suspect a thing when I wasn’t drinking coffee.
” She nods and I continue, “Anyway, we were talking and Bennett responded and I saw the text and got so upset I knocked over the hot chocolate. When Lief saw me crying over the spill, I had to explain it wasn’t really over that. ”
“Well, shit. What did the text say?”
I sigh, spinning my phone on the table. I don’t need to pull up the text, I know what it says word for word. “He’s tired of the back-and-forth and he deserves more.”
“I take it he doesn’t know about the baby?” she asks quietly.
I shake my head. “No, I haven’t told him yet. I will. I mean, of course I will, but I needed to just get through the bridal shower. Then I sent the text asking to talk, and he replied with that, so now I’m going to have to just show up.”
We sit in silence for a moment, then Meadow begins to fidget before she speaks .
“We each have our dynamic with each other, right? Like, Lief and January are the oldest two, so they kind of stick together. Then there are the three girls so we stick together. Lief has a protective nature with all of us but each relationship is different because of our personalities.” She spins her coffee cup.
“But it’s always been us, right? Like, we’re the youngest two, and while they were doing big-kid stuff, we had each other.
What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry I ran.
You know, when I would disappear at times, I just, I didn’t know how to cope.
So I needed to be alone.” She shrugs. “It probably wasn’t the best way to deal with shit, but it’s all I knew. ”
“We all had different ways of dealing with it. I don’t blame you, Meadow.”
She nods. “I know, but I just felt like I need to say it. I know you’re going through it again, and I want you to know I’m here for you. Always.”
I smile and reach for her hand and squeeze. “I love you, Mead.”
“I love you too.” She stands and stretches before grabbing her coffee cup. “So when are you going to tell him?”
I exhale slowly. "He’s not going to want to see me, but I’m going to go by his cabin tonight."
"He may act like that, but he has a right to know. And if your love is still as strong as it’s been all these years, then you both owe it to yourselves, and this baby, to try.”
"And if it’s too late?"
"Then at least you stood in front of him and said the words. That’s brave, Bloss. And you’ve always been braver than you think. Plus, it gives reasonable doubt for Lief to get off charges when he beats the shit out of him."
I snicker.
"Tell him before your older brother gives him the surprise of his life. "
I nod slowly, her words washing over me. Just like Dad said, love is honesty and truth, no matter how painful.