Page 22 of It Happened Back Then (Nilsson Family #3)

“ H ello? You decent?”

I roll my eyes. “Yup. Just watching television.”

“You better not have gone onto the next episode without me.”

Bennett enters the living room and, like always, his presence makes my heart race. He’s so handsome, with a boyish look, but under that innocent exterior I know he’s a grown man.

“When you didn’t show last night, I got bored,” I point the remote at the TV and turn it up a notch.

I went to the Luxury last night with a clear purpose. With a rapidly beating heart and words I practiced over and over, I was going to tell Bennett I want more. I want more than the lingering looks and touches, the subtle innuendos of our conversations.

I was going to lay it all out on the line, make a case for how good we are together.

I was going to tell him how natural it feels with him, how easy it is to fall back into rhythm like no time has passed, how it’s always been him since we were ten, since before I even understood what love really meant. Only how he made me feel.

I was going to tell him I’d been a fool to ever push him away, even if part of me still believes it was the right thing at the time.

He wouldn’t be where he is now if I had let him stay in Bluemoon.

He needed to grow, and I’m not sorry for giving him that time, even if it was his father who put that fear in me.

But I do feel bad that I acted like I didn't care he was gone.

I regret acting like I was glad he was dating when, in actuality, it killed me.

I planned to admit the secrets I held onto and let him in on each one.

How his dad spoke to me and about the secret that almost changed both our lives.

Instead, I let it only change mine, and I’ve been holding onto that silence for far too long.

I want to tell him all this not to hurt him or make him pity me, but because he needs to know the truth.

I need to clear the air between us so we can move forward.

He needs to know the choices I made and that they were to protect him.

But none of it happened.

Not. One. Word.

“You couldn’t text?”

“Are you mad at me?”

I purse my lips and shrug, still staring straight ahead. I know I’m being childish, but I need him to tell me she’s here. Why is he keeping secrets? I almost laugh out loud at that thought. Secrets seem to surround us.

Last night I saw something I feared may happen.

It took me a moment to focus on what I was seeing, but my heart broke when I saw Bennett at a small table by the bar sitting with a blonde woman.

I knew it was her before I even saw her face.

But when Savannah’s eyes connected with mine for a brief second, I saw red, and hers lit up.

I don’t believe she was that nice girl she portrayed herself to be when she came to visit years ago. The same one who partied with my sister for her birthday. The one who said she’d give Bennett space to figure out his schooling. The one who called me the cute best friend.

No, it was all a scam. She was conniving and manipulative. And some of the things Bennett would say over the years, I knew they never came from him directly. She was in his ear.

I turned around and left the restaurant. I drove straight home and waited for Bennett to show like he usually does after a shift. I waited for a text, a call. But he didn't. And then my mind circled all night, keeping me up with imaginings of what they were doing together.

It’s not my place to tell him he can’t date her. It’s not my place to even say I’m upset about it. We’re not anything to each other anymore.

Right?

We almost were. If I had given in the other night, taken that kiss I wanted so badly, would last night have played out differently? But I’m too late. Now I’m acting crazy. This has nothing to do with me, it’s their relationship. It’s been their relationship since I told him to move to Seattle.

But I’m the one who’s been here with him since he moved back to Bluemoon. Hell, I've been here the last twenty years. I knew he uprooted everything he had going on in Seattle to take a chance here. And I know it wasn’t just for a chance at the restaurant.

He chuckles and falls onto the couch next to me, throwing his arm across the top of the couch behind me. “The kitchen was crazy last night and I was exhausted.” He nudges me. “Why are you upset?”

“I don’t like that your girlfriend is in town, and you didn’t tell me,” I snap out.

He laughs but it sounds off. “Is that what this is about? ”

“Why didn’t you tell me she was here?”

He pulls back from me. “She just showed up last night at the end of the dinner rush. How did you know she was here?”

“I came to the restaurant and saw her sitting with you.”

“I wish you would have come and talked to me.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “She’s here for a few months. We had lunch today.”

“What?” I whip my head to face him. “Why?”

He plays with the hem of my shorts and goosebumps erupt on my skin. He smiles and runs his hand across my leg. “She says she misses me.”

“So she moved to Bluemoon?”

“I don’t want to brag, but I am kind of a big deal.” I punch him and he grabs my hand, laughing. “Stop it, I’m teasing you.”

“Are you glad she’s here?” I ask quietly.

He holds my stare for what feels like forever before saying, “I don’t know.”

And those three words cut me to the core. Why doesn’t he know? He seemed to know what he wanted the other night.

He continues, “I mean, it’s good to see her. We didn’t end things badly, you know? We just wanted different things. I don't hate her. But…”

“But?”

He shrugs with one shoulder. “I just wasn’t expecting to ever see her again.”

“Is that why she was commenting on your Instagram?”

He raises a brow. “Are you stalking my social media?”

Oh god, now I just gave myself up. “Well, an old picture popped up because she commented and—” I trail off as he begins to laugh. “Don't laugh at me!” I exclaim then whisper, “I never liked her, Bennett. ”

“You didn’t?” He gasps, teasing me again. “I didn't like your boyfriends either.”

“I didn't have boyfriends. I just dated here and there. Besides, you never even met them.”

He turns to me, playing with my hair. “I met that one guy. The one Meadow set you up with.”

I wave my hand around. “He was annoying. And speaking of annoying, your girlfriend definitely didn’t seem to fit you at all.”

He speaks softly but with confidence. “You’re right. She wasn’t my type.”

“Then why were you with her? If she was the opposite of what you want?”

He brushes his fingers along the back of my neck, and I shiver. “Because what I wanted wasn’t ready for me.”

His words stir something inside me, but I don’t know if now is the best time to say everything I had planned to say yesterday. It's heavy. It's a lot. But it does need to be said. So, I go for sarcasm instead. “Well, if you need a tall thin blonde now, you should go for it.”

He takes my hand. “I only need a curvy, brown-haired girl.”

I roll my eyes at him. “You mean short and fat?”

“I mean fun sized, and I love every one of your curves. The ones I remember anyway.” His eyes twinkle with amusement.

I pull my hand away. “Why are you trying to provoke me right now?”

“You’re jealous and I think it’s cute.”

“I am not.” I cross my arms and huff.

He lets out a loud laugh and throws his arm around me, pulling me in close. “No one will ever take your place, Blossom.”

“Not even your wife? ”

I feel his body stiffen at my words. It’s a moment before he begins to speak. “The connection we have; I’ve never found it anywhere else. You know that.” He plays with my fingers, intertwining his own with mine before quietly asking, “Do you remember what we promised that night?”

I look at him knowing exactly what he’s asking. “Yes, I remember our pact.”

He raises a brow. “Do we want to revisit it?”

“Why? You going to propose now? Don’t you think it’s a little too fast?”

“I don’t think ten years is fast,” he replies.

This is everything I want to hear, but I can’t stop myself from doubting. “You know what I’m saying. We never even gave ourselves a real chance?—”

“ You didn’t give us a chance,” he interrupts.

“How do we just expect it to work now?”

“We let ourselves have the chance we deserve,” he pushes.

I throw my hands in the air. “But your girlfriend just moved to town.”

He laughs. “She’s not my girlfriend.” He sighs. “It wasn’t ever going to work, Blossom, because she’s not you.”

“So, what do we do now?” I ask.

He gives me a shy smile but he has a devilish look in his eyes. “Maybe we should make sure we still have a connection?”

“So this is a booty call, is that what you’re saying?”

He lets out a sharp laugh. “It absolutely isn’t, and you know it.

Movies together, running errands, driving you around because you don’t want to deal with the snow in the winter, or the rain in the spring, babysitting Lily so your sister can go out with Drake, this is everything couples do.

And being near you like this…it’s pushing my limits.

” He pauses, his voice lower now. “When I have to jerk off twice before I come see you, that’s a problem. ”

“Bennett! Don’t say that.” I laugh nervously, my face burning with embarrassment but happy to hear I affect him as much as he affects me.

He just shrugs, unapologetic. “I’m being honest. I’m not that sixteen-year-old boy anymore, Blossom.

I’m a grown man with needs, and the only person I want, the only one who can fix this for me is you.

And I don't just mean that in a physical sense. Being together, but not completely, it’s messing with my head. I miss us .”

I exhale a shaky breath. “I don't know what to say.” There’s so much to say, but if I’m honest, I'm glad he’s taking the reins here. Maybe I’m not ready to spill all I want to. Maybe I just need him to say he wants me. And I need to say I want him too.

“You wanted us to be friends. You said a long-distance relationship wouldn’t work.

So, I did what you asked of me. You needed me as just a friend for that time we were apart, and I supported that, even though my heart wasn’t in it.

I couldn’t pretend you were just a friend when I’ve had you laid out in my bed.

When I’ve seen the way you look with my kiss on your lips.

When I’ve been inside you, Blossom, so no, after ten years, I still can’t just be your friend when we were always meant to be more. ”

My body tingles hearing his words, and all I can do is stare at him. His face is calm and collected but he’s breathing heavy, so I know the stoic outer appearance is masking what's really happening inside.

“So what do we do about it?”

“I’d like to fuck my future wife, but that depends on you.”

I giggle at his words and he laughs with me, a nice break to the tension swirling in the room. “So, Savannah being here means nothing?”

His eyes soften. “No, Blossom.”

“Did you tell her that? ”

His eyes drop from mine, and he mumbles, “I tried.”

I push away from him. “You tried?”

“I’m not sure where I stand with you.”

I huff a laugh. “That’s not what I just heard. Your declaration was you want to fuck your future wife, but now you’re still not sure?”

“No, it’s not like that?—”

“Sure sounds that way. You just sat here proclaiming that I’m the one, but you couldn’t tell her that?”

He closes his eyes and takes a breath. “You’re misunderstanding?—”

“I don’t think I am.”

He sits up straight, his tone angry. “Then tell me what you do understand, Blossom. Because from where I’m sitting, you’re the one with the hang up about us. And I have no idea why. I’ve no idea why you pushed me away to college. Or why you wouldn’t come with me.”

I duck my head. I can’t go into all that right now. “We’ve been over this, Bennett.”

“You’re right. We have. And now I'm here, back in Bluemoon. So, what’s the hold up, Blossom?”

I look at him, stare deep into his eyes, and repeat his sentence in my mind.

What’s the hold up, Blossom?

He’s everything you’ve always wanted and he’s sitting here waiting for you to take it.