Page 10 of It Happened Back Then (Nilsson Family #3)

“ Y ou know, you’re twenty-four, Blossom. You shouldn’t be here.”

“And where should I be?” I huff out in a tone harsher than I want. It’s hot, I’m moving all these boxes, and now my sister wants to tell me how to live my life.

“I don’t mean here here , I mean here .”

Jack, my brother’s best friend, helped us out once but he’s been living in New York City and isn’t around much anymore. So, for now, it’s Meadow and I doing the best we can. My mom has been coming in and working the register, but we basically run the day-to-day stuff.

“Oh, that makes so much more sense, Meadow.” I roll my eyes.

“You’re young; you need to be dating. You spend all your days in this store, then you go home and spend your nights with Mom. The few times you have gone out, the guys are total losers.”

I shift another box on the shelf and sigh, brushing sweat off my forehead. The air feels thick today, like it’s got the same secrets I do.

Lately, Bennett has been on my mind constantly.

I don’t know if it's the time of year bringing up memories or because I haven’t seen him in two years.

Every time I think of Bennett, it’s like being sixteen again and losing my breath every time he looked at me.

Only now, I don’t know if it’s love, or guilt, or both.

He doesn’t know the whole truth. He still doesn’t know why I pulled away when everything between us felt so right. Sometimes I think I’ll tell him, but I’m afraid, and the weight of it bogs me down again, like it always does.

Like it did back then.

I lift my hands before slapping them on my thighs in frustration. “Tell me how you really feel.”

“I am!”

I turn my back on her and open a box, checking the packing list against what’s inside.

“Listen, I’m twenty-four; I still have lots of time.

” I turn on her, pointing as I continue, “But you? You’re twenty-six; that’s almost thirty, ya know?

” I snicker as she narrows her eyes at me.

“Maybe you should be a little more serious about your own dates.”

I’m being mean right now because we’ve had this conversation before. Meadow is afraid of putting her heart out there. Our hearts were broken at a young age, and it's hard to move past that. Being the party girl is something she uses to protect herself.

“We’re not talking about my love life, honey. I do just fine.”

I eye her. “You’re going to marry just fine ?

She ignores me and keeps pressing. “What ever happened with Bennett?”

I close my eyes for a moment. “He’s too nice.”

“Too boring, you mean?” she asks.

“No, he’s too … good. He doesn’t need the drama that is our life.” The more I say it, the more I can continue to believe it. Even though I know better; I know him better.

“I know what you’re doing.” She steps close and becomes serious, and it makes me nervous. “You’re hiding. You’re too beautiful and happy to hide.”

“And you? Your party stage has gone on since he’s been gone.”

She turns from me, essentially dismissing me, not wanting to acknowledge she’s been out of control since dad died. “I handled it the best I knew how.” She shrugs as she turns back to me. “I can’t help that I’m a good time.”

We chuckle together, but losing dad is still one of the hardest things we have had to endure as a family. Some days the weight of grief is so heavy I can’t get out of bed.

“Anyway, I set you up. Tonight, at the Luxury. You have a date.”

I gasp, outraged. “Meadow, no! I don’t want to and that place is expensive.”

“So?”

“So, I can’t pay for it.”

“It’s a date. You don’t pay. Unless you want to.” She waggles her brows, and I slap at her. “You could use having your tits grabbed. Just go.” She squeezes my boobs, and I bat her hands away then turn away only to have her spank me instead.

“Whoa. Is there going to be Jell-O wrestling next?”

I turn toward the door, toward the voice that is always a constant sound in my mind. “Bennett. ”

“Bennett?” Meadow pops a hip and lets out a whistle. “Well, baby Bennett sure did grow up.”

I slap at her once more and round the corner to get to him. He pulls me right into a hug with the strong arms I’ve been missing, all the comfort I’ve been missing. “What are you doing back here?”

“I just got in. I have an interview today.”

“You're kidding? Here in Bluemoon? This is amazing!” I hug him once more. “Wait. Tell me it’s at the Luxury?”

“It’s at the Luxury.” He smiles wide, and I know this is a dream come true for him.

I step back but don’t let go of his hand.

I haven’t seen him in over two years. He’s so different.

So much more… man . He’s filled out and his face is more mature.

Seeing him on video calls did not do him justice.

The last time he was home was before he graduated from culinary school.

He said he was coming back but ended up getting a job that began the weekend after graduation that he couldn’t turn it down.

I understood but was disappointed. And there was no way I could leave my family and get out to Seattle, even for just a few days.

Plus, I didn't want to run into Savannah.

“Oh, how funny,” Meadow drawls as she saunters up next to us. “Blossom has a date at the Luxury tonight.”

Bennett scowls, and I glare at her as he asks, “That’s nice. Anyone I know?”

“I don't even know him,” I respond through gritted teeth. “Meadow set me up. Isn’t she sweet?”

He smiles, but there little humor in his expression. “Okay, I just wanted to stop in and say hi. Maybe we can catch up tomorrow?”

“Yes! I can cancel tonight and we can?—”

“No, you can’t Blossom,” Meadow interjects .

“It’s fine, go have a good time tonight. We’ll catch up tomorrow. I don’t leave until Monday.”

“So soon?”

He looks away from me. “Yeah, I have to get back.”

“Did Savannah come with you?” I don’t want to ask about her, but I have to. I never know if she’s going to pop up or if they’re together or not.

“No.”

Just no, no explanation. Desperate to get more information from him, I push, “What if they offer you the job?”

He chuckles and moves toward the door, and I follow. “Let me get through the interview first, then I’ll know more.” He reaches for me, pulls me close, and gives a quick kiss on my forehead before waving goodbye to Meadow, and then he’s out the door.

I spin on her. “Why would you say I have a date?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I–” I stop short as she waits with a raised brow. “Because I haven’t seen him in two years, and it’d be nice to spend some time with him before he leaves again.”

“You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met.”

I walk away from her and head back to the boxes I was unpacking. “I’m not lying. It’s been over two years since he’s been home.”

When I don’t get a response, I turn around and see her with her arms crossed, staring at me. “This isn’t his home anymore, Blossom. He moved to Seattle.”

“He’s only there for college,” I respond indignantly.

“Which he has since graduated from. And now he has a job. And a girlfriend. I don’t know what you’re holding out for.”

I close my eyes. I don't want to tell her about our pact. She’ll think it’s a stupid, childish dream.

And maybe it is, but I still remember it, and though it scared me then, it doesn’t scare me now.

Now it only feels like a nostalgic thing to talk about.

I’m sure he’s moved on from that. From me.

There’s only been one time he brought it up, and that was a year ago over the phone.

After we spoke that night, we went a few months without a word.

Then a picture of him and Savannah popped up on my social media, and I knew why I hadn’t heard from him.

“He could do so much better than Savannah.”

She scoffs. “Sounds like jealousy. Did you guys even sleep together? He could be awful in bed and you’re over here holding out for the guy.” I hold her stare and her eyes get wide. “You fucked him?”

“Stop it!” I hiss. “You make it sound so dirty. It wasn’t like that.”

She runs to me. “When did it happen? Oh my god, was it when he was home over spring break?”

I shake my head. “No, it was way before then.”

Her eyes get even wider. “Tell me.”

“He was my first,” I say quietly, and she screams. I smack at her as the doorbell rings, signaling a customer walked in. “Shh! Get control of yourself.”

“Oh, sweet sister,” Meadow coos and loops her arm with mine as we walk to the counter to wait to see if the customer needs us. “Please tell me you’ve slept with other people since then and you’re not still wanting him after he fumbled his way through the first time?”

“I have, Meadow. You know this. But there’s just something with Bennett and me. You know he’s been my best friend since we were kids.”

“Wait. So all throughout high school, your best friend status was really friends with benefits?”

“Mead! I told you to stop!”

“I’m just trying to understand the dynamic here so I can help you! ”

“It was more than that. We loved each other. We were together like that for a couple years, but….” I trail off, not wanting to talk about what happened to make everything change.

“Bloss, childhood best friends is vastly different than being best friends as adults. And there’s a huge difference between young lovers and making an adult romantic relationship work.

Your lives change; people move and die. Everything about both of you is different than it was then. You deserve more. You deserve better.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes better is taken.”

Seeing him today, brought back every feeling I’ve ever had for him. We’re older now. Why can’t we make our own decisions? I’ll never be good enough for him in his father's eyes, but we’re not kids anymore. They can’t tell us what to do. And I need to stop letting others keep me away from him.