Page 13 of It Happened Back Then (Nilsson Family #3)

With my arms still around her, she pushes me to my back, falling with me. She gives a quick peck to my lips before smiling and brushing her hair behind her ear. “You gave me my first nickname.”

My hand drifts down her back to her ass, where I give her a quick spank. “With an ass like this how could I not?” Her eyes widen and I laugh. “What?”

“You called me that because my butt is big? I thought it was because my name was Blossom. You know, like a peach blossom that blooms in the spring.”

I chuckle and throw my hand behind my head, propping myself up slightly. “Nope. Even as a young kid I knew your ass was special. ”

“Bennett!” She acts appalled and starts to pull back, but I hold her in place, using her backward momentum to roll her over so I can settle between her legs. I press into her, and we both moan softly. She lifts her head, pecks my lips again then shyly says, “You gave me my first orgasm.”

“Was I there?” She throws her head back and laughs, a boisterous sound that has me quickly covering her mouth with my hand. “Shh! You’ll wake my parents.” We laugh together and it’s easy and fun and fuck , I love her. Why can’t she love me back?

She traces the slope of my nose and says, “You weren’t there the first time, no. But you may have caught a few assisted ones, here and there.”

I lay my forehead on her chest and tease, “So, you’re saying our first time didn’t really do it for you?”

She giggles, “Now that’s funny.”

I tap the tip of her nose playfully. “I like that you’ve thought of me, though I would have liked to have seen your face when I made you come on my own.”

“You know what? You're right. I saw your face every time I made you come, so I guess it would only be fair for you to see mine.” She’s teasing me, trying to get me riled up.

“I hope you know what you’re doing now,” she sing-songs, and I pinch at her sides until she tucks her face into my neck, trying to keep quiet.

Though I hear her loud and clear when she says, “Would it change your mind if you made me come?”

My eyes connect with hers, and the room becomes heavy with lust. “What are you asking me, Blossom?”

“I’m asking for another first.”

My eyes flutter and my heart beats rapidly in my chest. Everything about her always tied me up inside. She shifts under me, and her eyes flare when she feels I'm hard for her.

Quietly, she asks, “Do you want it?”

“You know I do. ”

“Then take it, Bennett.”

“Are you sure? We’re older. It’s going to be different.” She swallows, eyes tracking mine as I lower my voice and murmur, “There are things I like to do. Certain ways I like to fuck.”

“Bennett,” my name leaves her lips on a whisper, and I swallow it down with a kiss, deep and demanding, my tongue dueling with hers.

We pull back, both of us gasping, eyes locked as I say gruffly, “It’s going to be different, Peach, and I don’t know if you want that.” Her chest heaves, her panting breath painting my lips, but it’s her pleading eyes that has me adding, ”And this definitely isn’t the place for it.”

“What do you mean?” she asks, breathless.

“Do you really want my parents to hear what I’m going to do to you?”

“I can be quiet.” Her tone is desperate, and it makes me want her that much more.

“But that’s no fun. I want to hear how I make you feel. I want you screaming my name, Peach. It’s all I've ever wanted. As a teenager I didn't know how to get it, but I know now. And I want it all with nothing holding us back.”

I rock my hips against her so she can feel what she’s going to get. Her eyes close and a soft whimper escapes her lips when I cup her breast then pinch her nipple through her shirt.

“Like this. I had no idea what this would do to you back then.” I pinch her again. “How it would drive you wild.”

“Bennett.” She squirms beneath me.

“You wanted to change my mind? Maybe I need to change yours. Let you see what I can give you in bed.”

Her eyes flare with anger. “Is this all about sex for you?”

I shake my head. “Not in the least. But you started this tonight by lying in my bed, climbing all over me, and talking about firsts. You want more firsts? Well, so do I. I want a first date, a first house, a first dance. Don’t make this be the first time you lie to me and say you don’t want any of that. ”

She circles her arms around me, holding me close, but her eyes are vacant. Gone is the lust, gone is the determination to change my mind, and instead, creeping in, are those same excuses she gave me years ago.

I gently pull away from her and her arms drop from me. “You’re not ready.”

“I love you, Bennett.”

“I know you do. And I believe you want what I want, I really do. But I need to make the best decisions for myself and don't know how to do that when I’m in limbo with you.”

I back off the bed and she sits up, but not before I see her brush away a lone tear that’s escaped. I don’t understand why this is so hard; why we can’t just come together and make things work.

Her voice waivers as she says, “I’m asking you to stay, Bennett. Will you?”

I don’t look at her, I just stare at the floor. “Tell me why.”

“I miss you.”

“But why do you miss me?”

“Because I love you.”

“Why do you love me?”

“Bennett. Stop this. Why are you doing this?”

I turn to her, my jaw tight and my hands gripping the comforter.

“I need you to know what you want, Blossom. I need you to understand that by asking me to stay it means you’re asking me to stay in your life for good.

I won't stay here and watch you date. If I come back, I'm cutting ties to everything in Seattle and claiming what’s been mine since I was ten. If you want that, say the word. I’ll burn this town down for you.

But if you’ve got the slightest doubt right now? You need to tell me. ”

“It's not doubt,” she says quietly, practiced, like she’s been doing for years. “It’s me wanting the best for you.”

“How about you let me worry about what I think is best for me.”

She presses her lips together, her foot taps the floor in a nervous pattern.

She’s quiet for a moment, obviously contemplating her response before she rises, stands beside me.

“I love you, Bennett. If I knew how to stop, I'd have done it a long time ago. But it’s all I know right now. It’s all I’ve ever known actually.

If you need fancy words or elaborate reasons from me, I don't have them. All I have is I love you.”

She leans down, kisses my cheek, then slips out through the window she came in. I let out a curse under my breath and fall back on the bed, hating that I know I have to leave Bluemoon.

I stare up at the ceiling, the darkness and quiet of the night falling over me. It’s too quiet, too final. Her perfume that drew me in the instant I walked into the house still lingers in the air. It’s on my pillow, on my skin, and attached to every damn breath I take. Like always.

She loves me. I know that. She's always loved me. But for some reason, that love still feels just out of reach. She’s dangling it, telling me the words but not showing me the actions, and I have no idea why she won’t commit.

I want to believe her when she says she loves me. I want to believe that this time, love is enough. That we're not those young kids anymore. That we can finally stop dancing around what we've both known for years and truly give ourselves to each other.

But doubt that it can happen covers me, almost as much as the rain falls in Seattle.

What if I take this job and she pulls away again? What if I stay and end up watching her fall for someone else? What if we decide to try for real and fail, but this time, there's no way to put the pieces back together?

I close my eyes and let out a long breath. "What the hell am I supposed to do now, Blossom?"

Rain starts to fall, the quiet din on the roof an echo of what I have to do.

Move on.