Page 12 of In Death, Love Survives

SIX

Nova

I’ve been panic-stricken for over twenty-four hours. Ever since the therapy session with Wolfe yesterday morning, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and lost. Last night, I even scheduled an emergency session with my therapist, although I didn’t tell her what happened.

I couldn’t.

What I did was not only foolish and reckless but goes against every part of who I am. I’ve been alone for a long time on purpose, and now, with one look, Wolfe Walker is able to command me to do whatever it is he wants.

The worst part of it all is…

I can’t even admit this to myself.

Tapping my pen against my desk, I stare at the computer clock, counting down the minutes until Ryan is going to come meet me to head to Crawley’s office.

He’ll be here any minute.

Then maybe he’ll give me the distraction I need to feel any bit of normalcy as I can. Why couldn’t I have felt this way about Ryan? He’s a catch, and he’s interested in me, and most importantly, he’s not in prison, and I’m not his therapist.

I barely know anything about Wolfe. We haven’t had a chance to even discuss the real issues at hand.

Watching the clock tick by slowly, a sheen of sweat gathers on my forehead.

What if Ryan, or anyone, actually saw what was on that tape? Wolfe sounded confident that the camera wasn’t going to that corner of the room, and although I agreed, I’m nervous that it caught what happened. I could get arrested for what I did.

What I did.

What I did was lose my mind in that room.

Wolfe has somehow gotten his hooks in me, and I need to stop it all before it goes any further.

When I came in this morning, and Tim told me Wolfe asked Jessica to be put on my calendar regularly, my heart fluttered. Another terrible sign that it’s up to me to put a stop to this mess.

Fine, I’ll admit the truth in the safety of my own mind.

I love the way Wolfe Walker makes me feel. It’s like he owns me but also wants to be the one to watch me unravel, just to put me back together.

It’s an unnerving feeling.

“Knock, knock,” Ryan says as he taps on the open door.

I perk up and drop my pen like it’s on fire from my secrets.

“Hi,” I chirp.

“Ready to talk to Crawley?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Pulling out my tablet and folder, I leave the comfort and safety of being behind my desk and follow Ryan out into the hallway.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

We start walking to the opposite side of the prison, where Crawley’s office is located.

“Yeah, everything is going great. I just hope we can convince Crawley we need the money that we’re supposed to get.”

“I’ll be there with you. We’ll do it together.”

“Thanks, Ryan.”

“Anytime,” he answers.

Walking past the prison yard, I notice they’re all outside. This time, there’s no hollering, whistling, or snide comments as we walk past them.

I try not to look out that way, knowing I’ll see Wolfe if I do. I’m not ready to face him just yet. He’s already on my schedule for tomorrow, so I’ll be seeing him soon enough. I need more time to process what I’m going through.

Wolfe is everything I never knew I wanted, and that’s frightening to admit.

“Hey, Doc,” Rim shouts with a wave.

“Hi, Rim,” I say back.

Naturally, I give him a small wave and smile. As I do, I see he’s sitting with Wolfe and Toby.

My smile falls as Wolfe’s eyes are fixed on me. They’re concerned, with slight crinkles along the sides of them, and his jaw is locked in place.

“How’s it going with Walker?” Ryan asks.

My attention snaps away from the man who’s consuming my every thought back to Ryan. He has no idea what’s going on between Wolfe and me.

I know he’s asking because of whatever this secret transfer is about. Another piece of the puzzle that I need to figure out.

“Nothing to report just yet. Not opening up easily, but at least he’s interested in meeting with me still.”

“That’s good. If you get anything unusual, please come see me.”

“Unusual?”

“I’m meant to be keeping an eye on Walker, but you and I both know how difficult that is to do with how understaffed we are.”

“Oh, nothing out of the norm.”

Ryan scoffs.

“What?” I ask.

“That’s good, I suppose.”

“Isn’t that what we want? For people in here to do well?”

Ryan opens the door at the entrance for me. I can feel Wolfe’s eyes on my back as I slip inside, with Ryan following close behind.

“Of course it is.”

Although Ryan is a leader at Roper State, he took an oath to treat patients with care. Regardless of the prison politics, he’s still a good man who only wants the best for everyone, or so I hope.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he starts.

“What’s that?”

“Would you be interested in meeting up for a drink tomorrow night?”

Feeling a little stunned, I stumble over my words.

“Oh. Um. Maybe not.”

He laughs briefly as he rakes a hand through his polished hair. The movement looks nothing like it does whenever Wolfe does it.

“Ouch,” he says with a hand over his heart.

I try to make light of my immediate reaction.

“Don’t be silly. It’s not like that. You know me, I just don’t go out much. I don’t know if twice in a month is really me.”

Ryan pauses outside Crawley’s door.

“Maybe I could bring over dinner instead? No going out that way.”

“I,” I start.

Suddenly, Crawley swings open his previously closed office door. Ryan and I both back up slightly from the sudden interruption.

“What are you two doing out here?” he asks.

“Crawley,” Ryan says.

“Get in here. We only have a few minutes.”

“We’re your next appointment,” Ryan says, unimpressed.

“Life moves fast at Roper State. You two ought to know that.”

Crawley takes a seat behind his desk as Ryan and I settle into the two brown leather chairs on the opposite side.

“Well, get on with it,” Crawley says.

“We need the funding that we were promised to hire more staff. Our teams are drowning,” Ryan answers.

“That money could be used elsewhere. You know we need new gym equipment, have to fix A block up. I could go on and on.”

“Sir, with all due respect,” I interject.

“Fletcher, with all due respect to your profession, we have real needs here. I can’t be hiring more psychiatrists or whatever it is you want.”

“Yes, you can. It’s what’s best for the prisoners. It’s what’s needed at Roper State.”

Crawley digs his hand inside a sunflower seed bag on his desk and pops a few in his mouth. He looks between Ryan and me, noticing that we’re a united front on this matter.

“Three staff members, Dr. Owens. It’s up to you to figure out who, what, where. Report back.”

We should be getting five or six, but I keep that to myself.

“Understood,” Ryan answers.

“Good. I’m off to a meeting over our most infamous inmate,” Crawley says with a loud sigh as he stands.

“Who?” I ask.

My heart beats wildly in my chest in anticipation. Crawley looks over at Ryan and back at me.

“Wolfe Walker.”

He opens his door and gestures for us to go without another word.

“I’ll be looking for a report from you soon, Ryan.”

“Yes, sir.”

Ryan and I head back to our medical unit.

“What’s that about?”

Ryan clears his throat as he pulls at his tie.

“Walker’s attorney is trying to get him out. It won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Walker getting put into a maximum security prison was a gift that the judicial system isn’t taking lightly. He can have all the money in the world trying to get him out, and I just don’t see it happening.”

“Well, that’s not exactly fair if he’s not the one who killed the victim.”

Ryan pauses right before we walk outside and past the prisoners who are still out there.

“There’s no debate about whether he killed him, Nova. You do know that, right? Wolfe Walker is a murderer.”

“I don’t want to argue about someone in here.”

Ryan opens the door for me, and we both walk in silence down the path. His eyes gaze over to Wolfe, and so do mine. He’s in the same spot where he was when we walked past previously, only this time, he looks angry.

“Wolfe Walker isn’t some Good Samaritan. He’s a criminal. You can help him all you want, and you should, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be the good guy. Ever.”

What a slap in the face of a reality check.

Everything he’s saying is true. I know it, yet why don’t I seem to actually care about that?

“I know, Ryan. I do.”

“That’s all. I know sometimes you wear your heart on your sleeve and just want to see the best in everyone.”

“I’ve got to catch up on paperwork,” I say as we walk back into our unit.

“We’ll catch up later?” he asks, clearly meaning about our conversation that was interrupted earlier.

“Of course. I just have to go. You know how swamped I am.”

“Hopefully, we’ll be able to get you more help soon.”

“Hopefully.”

“I’ll keep you updated on the hiring process.”

“That’d be great. We’ll talk soon.”

I disappear before he has another chance to drag out the conversation.

“Good morning, Dr. Fletcher,” Wolfe rasps.

He takes his seat, a familiar routine we’re starting to have with these sessions. Ordinarily, I’d look at it as a positive sign, but with Wolfe, I never know what’s good or bad.

“Good morning, Mr. Walker.”

Wolfe stares at me like I’m the only thing he sees. Every single time I’m in his line of sight, it’s the same look.

“How are you today?” I ask.

I press record on the recorder between us. A smirk crosses his face.

“I’m doing well. A nine, as you might say.”

“A nine is…”

I straighten my posture and give Wolfe the most polite mask I have.

“Excellent.”

“I think so too.”

“Do you care to share why you’re a nine today?”

“I get to see someone I care about this Sunday.”

I smile at the thought.

“That’s great. Visitors are always nice to have.”

“It is. A gorgeous blonde.”

My smile turns into a grimace.

“ Fantastic .”

My stomach starts to churn as I feel the acid bubbling up. He’s having a woman visit him on purpose to make me upset.

“Only one problem with it. I hope you can give me your advice, Doctor.”

I gesture for him to continue despite wanting him to stop talking altogether.

“That’s what I’m here for. Please share.”

“I never know where she stands. I suppose you could say she treats me warmly and then turns cold easily.”

“Is that so?”

I cross my arms over my chest, and it gets an upward pull from Wolfe’s lips.

“Sometimes, she won’t talk to me. Look at me, even. It’s wild.”

“Well, I imagine it’s difficult with you being incarcerated,” I snap.

Wolfe breaks out that smile I love to see.

“That’s not it.”

I cross my legs together at the ankles. It’s crystal clear that I’m closing off from him by my body language alone. This is the rudest conversation that he could have with me of all people.

“What do you think it is?”

He lounges back in his chair, like he owns this place—including this room and me in it.

“I think she’s scared.”

“Maybe she is.” He looks thoughtful.

“Yeah, I think that’s it.”

I take the bait.

“Why is she scared?”

Wolfe’s expression turns serious.

“I think she’s scared of her past and fucking terrified of a change to her future.”

My breath hitches.

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“You should ask this woman.”

He hums in response.

“Tell me, Dr. Fletcher.”

Naturally, I try to get further into his sphere. He matches my positioning.

“Yes?” I whisper.

“What do I do to get someone out of their shell who clearly wants to but is afraid?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I admit.

“It’s a shame,” he says in a soft voice.

I wait for him to keep going. My body is vibrating as this energy courses through every inch of it.

“I’d love to see her come undone. To trust the unknown. Take a leap.”

There is no other blonde woman, is there? He’s talking about me, or so I hope. I take a small chance that I’m right.

“I’m sure she would love to do that with you,” I whisper.

Wolfe slowly leans back. I do the same.

“She’s a lucky girl to have your utmost attention like this,” I lie.

Part of me knows that he’s talking about me, but the insecure part is dying to find out for sure.

“She is.”

“I’m sure Sunday will be special for you then.”

“It could be.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” I can’t help asking.

“If she shows, then I’ll know the truth.”

“The truth of how she feels?”

“Yeah, dollface. That’s right.”