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HALLIE

O h, fuck. He’s really called my bluff here.

I can’t make it believable that I hate him.

Because I don’t.

He crawls onto the bed and I scramble back until I hit the cold wall.

He chuckles.

“Nowhere to run, trouble.”

He grabs my calves and drags me toward him until I’m flat on my back on the mattress. Nudging my thighs apart, he settles between them, hooking my legs onto his shoulders as he bends down.

His hot breath beats against my needy pussy.

“Conan!” I beg.

“Only good girls get eaten out. Can you be good for me?”

I shiver as he digs his fingers into my ass so hard my eyes water.

“I can!” I cry out.

His tongue flicks my clit, and my eyes slam shut, my back arching off the bed.

His palm presses down on my lower tummy.

“So fucking sweet it should be a sin.”

He licks me out like a man starved, until my body is shaking around him. My hands claw at the covers, squeezing to relieve the pressure.

“Come for me,” he demands.

My toes curl as he sucks my clit, and I lose it. I let my climax consume me until I’m a shaking, breathless mess. My ears ring and my body sags.

He maneuvers himself so he’s leaning over me. I blink open my eyes and find him watching me, his nose brushing mine.

He gently trails his fingers over my breasts and back between my thighs. I can’t close them because he’s in the way.

I jolt when he pushes two fingers inside me.

“I don’t think I can.” My voice is barely a whisper.

“Give me one more, Hallie. You can do it.”

He ups the tempo, that fuzzy heat sweeping through me again.

“That’s it. Good girl. Give in to me.”

I spread my legs wider and let him finger fuck me to oblivion.

“Hmm. So much hatred here,” he mocks.

And then his hand clamps over my nose and mouth.

My eyes fly open. Panic surges. The harder I try to breathe, the more my lungs burn.

I claw at his arms, but he doesn’t let up, only curling his fingers deeper inside me.

“Give me what I want, and I’ll let you breathe.”

That darkness flashes across his eyes.

Holy fuck.

This is hot.

This is hatred.

I swear to God, the second he lets me go, I’m going to show him what I mean by a hate fuck.

My hips roll as my head gets lighter, pleasure heightening to an impossible peak.

Just as it all gets too much, he removes his hand.

I gasp for air—and I feel myself lose control.

I climax so hard I see stars. I’m screaming, crying, and holding onto him for dear life as he coaxes me through it.

“That’s it. Such a good girl,” he whispers in my ear.

My body trembles as I come down. He doesn’t let me go. He doesn’t even remove his fingers.

When I open my eyes, he’s just watching me.

“You asshole,” I choke out.

He sits up and slides his hand out of me with a smirk.

With all the strength I can muster, I sit up and launch myself at him.

I shove at his chest, but he doesn’t budge.

I keep hitting him. Letting it out. All of it.

The pain.

The heartbreak.

The devastation.

The loss.

The lies.

The fantasy I believed.

“I hate you!” I scream.

I pound my fists against his chest as tears stream down my cheeks.

“I hate you,” I say again, my voice breaking.

He remains rigid. Taking it.

“Say it back, goddamn it!” I sob.

His hands clamp over my wrists. I look away, trying to steady my breathing.

“Let it all out, baby. I can take it.”

I shake my head.

“You did this to me!”

“I know. And I’m so fucking sorry.”

I blink through my tears and see the raw pain behind those green eyes I loved so much.

“Why can’t I let you go?” I whisper.

He tugs me against him and wraps his arms around me, holding me tight. His heart beats wildly under my cheek.

“Because what we had was special. It was real,” he sighs.

“And you fucked it all up.”

“I’m sorry.”

This is too raw. Too close.

This isn’t what I signed up for.

I don’t want his apologies.

He can’t take back what he did. He can’t change who he is.

“I don’t want to hear it, Conan.”

I wriggle out of his grip and he lets me go.

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and force myself to breathe.

“Hold me down and fuck me from behind. With my hands behind my back. Tell me what a slut I am for you.”

He frowns, confusion etching across his face. Isn’t this who he really is?

“I’m not here to talk. Or listen to your apologies. I’m here to be thoroughly fucked. And if you can’t stick to your end of the deal, I’ll go back to the club and find someone else to finish the job.”

I hate myself the second the words leave my mouth.

I knew how much that would hurt him.

Maybe I want to push him away so far that he’ll stop chasing me.

That he’ll finally give up on me.

A growl rumbles from his chest. His nostrils flare.

And I know exactly what I want from him.

As fast as I can, I clamber off the bed and make a run for the door, flinging it open and heading into the gym.

My heart thunders as I dart toward the octagon cage.

Just as I reach for the knob on the door, my hair is yanked back. A scream tears out of me.

My back slams into the metal.

“You want to be fucked like an animal? Hmm? Ass in the air while I ruin you?”

I let out a ragged breath.

“Yes.”

“You want to be used and at my mercy?”

I nod.

“Words,” he presses.

“Yes, Conan. You want me? That’s how you get me.”

He runs a hand through his hair.

“Fuck,” he hisses.

When his lips crash into mine, I melt into the kiss.

Just like that first time.

The world fades away.

It’s like he’s trying to show me he’s still here. That even though this isn’t love…it still is.

We keep kissing as he guides us onto the padded mat.

When he pulls away, he spins me around and pushes me down onto all fours.

He kicks my legs apart, and a shiver runs up my thighs.

“Hands.”

I lean down, resting my cheek against the mat, and put my hands behind my back. My shoulders burn.

He grips my wrists in one hand.

Without warning, he thrusts inside me. My face smashes into the floor.

I close my eyes and let him use me.

Pulling out slow so he can slam back in deep. Over and over.

His grunts fill the room.

I scream when he slaps my ass so hard my eyes sting.

This is what I wanted.

And fuck, it’s setting a fire inside me.

“So tight, Hallie.”

“Such a good little slut.”

Smack.

“I’m going to fill you up with my cum, Hallie. Is that what you want? To be my dirty whore, dripping with me?”

“Yes!”

“Good,” he growls.

As another climax rips through me, he doesn’t stop. He keeps going, taking everything until he finally joins me on the edge.

My name falls from his lips like a chant as he fills me.

When he pulls out, my body gives up and I collapse onto the mat.

He scoops me up like I weigh nothing, cradling me against his chest.

“You don’t have to be nice to me,” I whisper.

“Shh. I got you. I’ve given you what you wanted. Now let me look after you properly. Please.”

I’m exhausted.

And I don’t want him to let go.

We’ve already crossed so many lines tonight.

What’s one more?

He opens the shower door and carries me inside, still holding me close as he steps under the warm spray.

“Ugh. That’s so nice,” I moan.

“Hallie,” he warns.

His cock twitches against me, and my eyes go wide.

He sets me down on my feet, facing him.

I look up as the water drips over his face, those green eyes burning into mine.

I can’t help myself.

I forget everything.

I push up onto my toes, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him.

Not full of hate.

Not full of pain.

But passion.

Just like we had.