Page 46

HALLIE

D ay one of Conan being away. Five more to go.

I miss him.

Holding back a yawn, I glance down at my phone, my heart softening the second I see his name lighting up my screen. Just a text, but it’s enough to make me smile like a fool.

Beastie: I can’t stop thinking about you.

I reply quickly, feeling Lily’s stare at the side of my head.

Me: Same goes to you, beastie.

When I look up again, Lily’s quiet. Not because she has nothing to say—but because she’s watching me. Studying me like she already knows the truth before I do.

“You’re really falling for him fast,” she says, a small smile playing at her lips. “It looks good on you.”

I nod.

She’s not wrong. I haven’t felt like this in... God, I don’t even know how long.

That kind of dangerous, all-consuming happy—the kind that makes you start bracing for impact, waiting for it all to fall apart.

“Yeah,” I murmur, voice light but real. “I guess Conan’s been able to show me in just a few weeks how I should be treated…when others couldn’t manage that in a year.”

I set my coffee down, the ceramic clinking softly against the table, and turn toward her, crossing my legs.

There’s a tension in my chest I didn’t realize I’d been holding until I speak again.

“So you don’t think I’m crazy? For dating him? After everything that happened with Ben?”

Lily doesn’t even flinch.

“Hallie, sweetie. You are—and always have been—a little crazy.”

She grins. “But Conan seems like the same kind of crazy. And you’re good for each other. That’s all that matters.”

And that right there? That’s why she’s my best friend.

She loves my chaos, even when it drives her to the edge.

She leans back and lifts her coffee, dramatic as ever.

“And fuck Ben. Not literally. I mean, I hope he dives headfirst out of a plane and his parachute fails.”

She presses a hand to her chest like she’s making a vow.

“And I say this with every ounce of hatred I possess in my tiny, furious body—Fuck. Ben. If I ever see that bastard again, I swear to God, I’ll go full crazy and drive my stiletto through his eye.”

And that right there? Is the other joy of having Lily as a best friend.

She hates my exes more than I do.

“Ugh. I don’t want to talk about that asshole ever again.” A shiver runs down my spine; I will never forget how wild Ben was when he attacked me.

Bertie jumps up between us and rolls onto his belly.

“So needy,” I tease, stroking him.

“So what are the plans for this week?” Lily asks, leaning over to grab the bowl of chips.

“Working mainly. Might clean the car. Potentially sort my laundry out.”

Her mouth falls open.

“Fuck. Is he trying to domesticate you too?”

I scowl at her.

“No. No one could ever do that.”

I hope that isn’t what he expects from me.

“What if he’s as messy as I am?” I gasp in horror.

Lily chuckles and shoves some chips in her mouth.

“Hire a cleaner.”

“True.”

Not on my wage we won't be. I snuggle up with Bertie and start scrolling through the TV to find a film with a smile on my face. I’m really fucking happy.

By the time I can hardly keep my eyes open, I glance over and find Lily sound asleep beside me. I’ve been utterly exhausted today, probably after spending the weekend with Conan, I need a week’s rest. I look at my phone and it’s nearly midnight.

Conan’s nickname appears on the screen.

Beastie

You still awake? Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been quiet.

That pulls at my heart.

Me

I’m fine, I promise. I’m just tired.

I see the little dots keep appearing and disappearing. Until it pings.

Beastie

Tired of…not me, I hope.

This man. He will be the death of me. But I love how much he needs me.

Me

No, beastie. When I feel like this, all I need is you xx

His reply is instant.

Beastie

Fuck. I wanna drop everything and come back to you.

And the thing is, he probably would, just as I would for him. But he can’t. This week is important.

Me

Nope. You do what you have to do. I’ll still be here waiting for you to come home.

And that is the truth. I want to be all in with him. I like how I feel around him, how safe I am, how obsessed we both are. I’ve never laughed around a guy so much in my life. I want this.

I want it more than anything.