Page 48 of I Could Be Yours (The Toronto Terror #6)

NATE

“ I get it now,” I tell my brother.

He and Rix returned from Aruba yesterday and invited me and Flip over for fajita and margarita night. Dred and Essie are coming, too. I haven’t seen Ess since we met up at the Pancake House, but we’re texting.

“Therapy is work, and sometimes it really sucks, but it’s worth it. Essie is worth it,” I explain.

He smiles faintly. “It changes everything, doesn’t it?”

“It really does. I see the mistakes I was making clearly now, and I’m going to do my best not to make them again.”

Flip’s hand goes to his chest. “I’m so fucking proud of you, honey bear.” He means it, too.

“You won’t be perfect, and some sessions will hurt more than others,” Tristan cautions. “Some days you’ll struggle not to fall back into old patterns, but now you know they exist.”

I nod. “That’s exactly it. I might not always catch myself in the moment, but I can reflect on it, and hopefully get better at it.”

“You will. It’s like everything—it takes time and practice.” He claps me on the shoulder. “You let me know if you need to get out some of the feelings with workouts. We can hit the gym, the ice, whatever you need, brother. ”

“We’ve been doing that a lot.” I motion to Flip.

“Good. Now that I’m back, I can join you.”

The doorbell rings, and Rix comes rushing down the hall. “Nate! Big brother! I didn’t know you were already here!” She skids right into Tristan and tips her chin up for a kiss. She gives me and Flip both a quick hug. “Be right back.”

Her excited squeal echoes off the walls.

“Essie must be here,” Tristan says wryly.

“Yeah.” I run a hand over my chest and then through my hair.

“How are things going there?” Tristan asks.

“Trying not to fuck things up again and be the kind of guy we both deserve,” I reply.

“You’re already making progress,” he assures me.

Dred, Essie, and Rix appear.

Essie looks incredible in a pink summer dress that matches the streaks in her hair.

“Essie! The hair is my favorite!” Flip throws his arms around her, picks her up, and spins her. When he sets her down, he takes her hand and twirls her. “I love this new look.”

I want to punch him.

“It’s my breakup makeover,” she says.

And now I want to punch myself.

Dred gives me an empathetic smile.

Essie finally turns her attention to me. “Hi, Nate.”

“Hey, Ess.”

“Anyone want a drink?” Rix asks.

Everyone raises their hand.

“I’ll help you!” Essie links arms with her. “And so will Dred.” The three of them disappear into the kitchen.

Flip rocks back on his heels. “You’re really showing her how you feel, eh?”

“What the hell am I supposed to do with all of you standing around watching us?”

“Tell her it’s great to see her. That you miss her, that your life is shit without her. Did you even bring her a gift?” Flip folds his arms over his chest.

“Why would I bring a gift to fajita night?”

“Why would you bring a gift to fajita night?” Flip parrots.

I look to Tristan.

He shrugs. “Flip has a point.”

I throw my hands in the air. “Where was this advice an hour ago when we weren’t both already here?”

Flip is all fucking smiles. “I didn’t realize you were this much of a relationship novice.”

“I’m rusty!”

“You can say that again.” Flip crosses his arms. “Nut up or shut up, dude. Don’t be a crying little chicken bitch if she’s the one for you.”

“I was going to wait until later,” I mutter.

“Well, there might not be a later if you keep letting me step all over your toes.”

“Why do the three of you look so serious? You can’t be serious on fajita night!” Rix demands as she reappears.

The girls traipse in with margaritas.

Flip beelines it for Essie. “What are you doing after fajita night? Want to watch a movie with me?”

“I gotta go for a walk.” I head for the door.

“Nate! Buddy, where you goin’?” Flip calls after me.

“Is he okay?” Dred asks.

It takes me five minutes to walk to the closest flower shop. I buy two dozen pink roses, a box of Essie’s favorite chocolates, and a pink heart pillow to add to her collection before I return to Tristan’s.

Everyone is sitting in the living room, drinking their cocktails and eating tortilla chips with salsa, queso, and Rix’s famous street corn dip.

Flip grins when he sees me. “Honey bear! You shouldn’t have!”

“I didn’t.” I cross over to Essie. “I got you…stuff. ”

“Smooth…” Flip coughs.

I shoot him a dirty look. “Can you fuck off? You’re not helping.”

Flip’s eyes go comically wide. “Did I not do my part by getting your sorry ass off the couch? Was it not me who opened your eyes to the possibility of what you might be missing out on if you kept going the way you were? Did I not hook you up with a kickass therapist?”

I poke at my cheek with my tongue. “You did all those things, but I need you to not make this any harder or more awkward than it already is.” I turn back to Essie. “Can we go talk in the kitchen for a minute and leave the heckler here?”

“Sure.” Essie leaves her drink on the table. I would help her up if my arms weren’t laden with things. We leave our friends and Flip’s motor mouth and disappear into the kitchen.

“I got you flowers.” I hold them out.

“They’re really pretty.” She takes them from me. “Thank you.”

“And I got you a heart pillow and chocolate.” I thrust them at her. “They’re your favorite. The chocolate, I mean. And we both know you love heart pillows.”

“I do love chocolate and heart pillows.”

I shove my hands in my pockets. Pull them out. Run one through my hair.

“Did you go out and buy all this stuff for a reason?” she asks softly.

“Tristan and Flip were razzing me. I was nervous about seeing you today, and I’m pretty sure I’m fucking all of this up. Can I hug you, please?” My eyes close. Yeah, I’m really fucking this up. I crack a lid.

Essie looks up at me with soft eyes as she steps forward and wraps her arms around my waist. I fold my arms over her, soaking up the contact like a balm. “I’ve missed you so much, Ess. So fucking much. ”

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispers. Eventually she pulls away. “How’s therapy?”

“Hard. It sucks a lot right now, but it’ll get easier with time.” I want to reassure her that I’m not going to stop going. “I know it’s important that I do the work so I can have the kind of relationships I deserve, and so I can be a good partner.”

She smiles softly. “I’m really happy to hear that.”

“Do you think maybe you’d want to go on a date with me?”

Her lips pull to the side, and her eyes drop to the floor for a moment before they meet mine. “Can I think about it?”

My stomach sinks, but I nod anyway. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”