Page 28 of I Could Be Yours (The Toronto Terror #6)

NATE

“ N ate.” Poke . “Nate.” Poke. Poke . “Seriously, you are the soundest sleeper in the freaking universe.” Essie shakes my shoulder.

I do not want to move and give away the fact that I’m awake. Essie is exactly where I want her to stay, pressed against my body, warm breath breaking against my neck. She wiggles around, waking up other parts.

Her hair tickles my face as her lips brush my earlobe. “Anal sex,” she whispers.

My eyes flip open, and I slide my hand down her back to squeeze her ass cheek.

“You are such a dude.” She leans back so she can see my face. “How long have you been awake, you dirty bird?”

“About five seconds before you offered anal.” My voice is thick and raspy with sleep.

“That wasn’t an offer; that was me trying to wake you up. And it worked.” She wriggles around again, trying to worm her way out of my hold. “It’s already six. You have to go back to your room.”

I roll us over so I’m on top of her and bury my face in her neck. “Don’t wanna. ”

Essie runs her fingers through my hair while I edge my knee between her thighs. “Rix gets up balls early. She’s too stressed to sleep in. I don’t want her to knock on my door and find you in here. Especially since I’m supposed to be on a dick hiatus, and clearly I’ve fallen off the wagon.”

I reluctantly push up on my arms. There are sleep lines on her right cheek, and her hair is fanned across the pillow. Fresh-faced, barely awake, bedhead Essie is the most beautiful Essie in the universe. All I want to do is spend the rest of today in bed—fuck the rest of the world.

“Do you think she’d be upset?” I ask, still doing a pushup on top of her.

She smooths her thumb along the bridge of my nose. “She’s worried about everything right now, and I don’t want to add to that. You can come back tonight, though.”

I grin.

“But anal is not on the table?—”

“You put it on the table when you whispered it in my ear.”

“We can do doggy or reverse cowgirl, and you can stick a finger or a plug in there, but your dick is huge.”

“Fingers are a gateway.”

She rolls her eyes. “And much more reasonable than your delightfully massive cock. This isn’t debate class.” She pats my ass. “You have to get up, Nate.”

I roll off her and out of bed, hopping to my feet.

She sighs despondently, eyes on my erection. “I’m sorry I can’t jump on that now, but we’ll make up for it later.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to handling it on my own.”

She slides out of bed and pads across the room, grabbing my clothes, which she apparently hung up to dry for me at some point last night. She tosses them at me. “Please put those on. I’m going to brush my teeth.” She hustles into the bathroom.

I dress and am forced to tuck the head of my dick into the waistband of my shorts so it’s not an embarrassment. Essie returns a minute later, hair brushed, wearing a pair of shorts and a sports bra. “Okay. Let me make sure the coast is clear.”

I follow her to the door and wait while she pokes her head out. I wish I had brushed my teeth so I could kiss her before I leave, but my mouth still tastes like sleep.

She deems it safe for me to leave, but she fists my shirt and pushes up on her toes, sucking my bottom lip for a moment before she shoves me out of her room. “See you and your dick later.”

She closes the door in my face. At the same time, Flip steps out of his room two doors down. He’s wearing a pair of athletic shorts and running shoes. He gives me a look as he takes in my rumpled shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. My boner is mostly concealed, but not completely.

“I don’t want to hear it,” I warn.

He raises both hands. “I’m not here to judge.”

“You going for a run on the beach?” I ask.

“Yup.”

“Give me ten and I’ll join you.”

“I’ll meet you by the VIP beach entrance.”

“Sounds good.” I return to my room. There’s a small puddle on the floor to the right of the bed.

I’d be more concerned if I planned to sleep in here this week, but there’s no reason to alert management about the issue for now.

If they move me to another room, it might make it more of a challenge for me to sneak into Essie’s.

I rub one out—it doesn’t take long—change into running gear, and meet Flip on the beach.

“So Vegas wasn’t a one-time thing, eh?” he asks as we fall into a light jog.

“Nope.”

“You two dating now?”

I lift a shoulder. “Not really.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds. “She’s a good person, Nate. And she has a big heart. Don’t string her along. ”

“She said it was just about sex.”

“Is it?”

“For her, yeah, I guess. She kicked me out this morning because she doesn’t want Rix to find out and worry ’cause she’s already stressed enough about the wedding.” I sound pretty disgruntled about it.

“Rix is stressier than I expected, and Essie is hyper-cognizant of that, so I can see her wanting to avoid unnecessary drama. Are you worried about Rix and Tristan finding out?”

“Tristan would be very happy with me.”

“Why do you think that?” Flip asks.

“Because my relationship track record isn’t great.”

“To be fair, Tristan didn’t have a relationship track record until Rix, so he wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on if that’s what he’s upset about.”

“She only wants dick from me anyway.”

“But you want something else?”

“Yeah. No. I don’t know.”

“Sounds like maybe you do know and you’re having a hard time admitting it.”

I can’t talk to Tristan about this, or my dad, or anyone else really.

So I guess it’s Flip. “I like her. Like in the bedroom, yeah, but also out of it. She’s fun, and sweet, and thoughtful, and talented, and so smart.

” I should find her obsession with all things fairy tale and romance irritating, but now it’s just…

endearing. “She’s a ray of sunshine. I like how I feel when I’m around her.

” Especially now that we’re not fighting to stay away from each other. “And the sex is unreal.”

“I knew it. I should have acted faster.”

I punch him in the shoulder. “Fuck you.”

“I’m kidding.”

I give him a look.

“Mostly.”

“Seriously, fuck you.” I shove him, and he nearly loses his footing .

“Dude, I’m a guy with a dick, and she’s ridiculously gorgeous, plus all the other things you so helpfully highlighted about her.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve thought about her in a Biblical way.

But she’s my sister’s best friend, and I’m not ready for something real, which is what Essie deserves. ”

“Yeah, well, she doesn’t want real with me,” I grumble.

“I feel like you’re not telling me something.” We reach the end of the resort beach, and he stops, hands on his knees, sweat dripping from his brow.

I sigh and drag a hand through my sweaty hair.

“Spit it out, man. I won’t tell Tris or Rix. Whatever you say stays here on this beach.”

“I kissed her once at a party the summer before I went to university,” I admit. “I’ve never told anyone. And as far as I know, she never has either.”

“Interesting. What happened after the kiss?”

I scrub a hand over my face. “I was supposed to call her the next day.”

“But you didn’t.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

I tip my head up. It’s a clear, beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. “So many reasons. I was leaving for Kingston in a few weeks.”

“And you didn’t want to do the long-distance thing?”

“One of the guys I hung out with started giving me the gears. Told me about the friend of his Essie dated, how she was in love with him two weeks in, and I don’t know…

I guess I just freaked out?” I meet his gaze, expecting judgment, but all I get is Flip’s impassive empathy, so I keep going.

“I didn’t think I could handle a relationship, especially not with someone who could fall in love with me.

I just wanted to have fun, you know? I couldn’t deal with serious then.

” Based on my track record, I don’t know if I can handle it now.

Ironic that for the first time since Lisa br oke it off, it’s something I’m considering. “So I ghosted her.”

Flip nods. “Well, that explains the weird tension when you two were around each other until recently.”

“What weird tension?”

“She’s always fussing with herself, like she’s self-conscious, and you’re always in the worst of fucking moods. Probably because you feel like a guilty asshole.”

“Basically, yeah.”

“So you’ve explained why you ghosted her, then?” he asks.

“That’s the thing…we haven’t really addressed it.” The times she’s mentioned it, we haven’t been in a place where I could issue the apology she deserves.

“But you’re fucking.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Fucking sounds so…crude. Emotionless. “Yeah.”

“You should at least be honest with her about the past. I’m hazarding a guess that she’s okay with the current arrangement because she has ideas about why things went down the way they did back then. Telling her the truth could change that.”

“I don’t know if I want it to change.”

His expression shifts, his smile a little sad.

“It already has, Nate. It’s written all over your face.

Maybe the arrangement started as just sex, but you have feelings.

Not sharing them with her doesn’t stop them from existing.

” He’s different than the Flip I moved in with almost a year ago.

I’m not sure what inspired the change, but his insightfulness is surprising.

“What if she doesn’t want what I want?” The twist in my stomach and the panic clogging my throat are more telling than I’d like.

“That’s always the risk. You have to decide if she’s worth it.” He claps me on the shoulder. “You don’t have to make a move now, or this week even. But weigh what you’re willing to put out there. Maybe this is your second chance.”