Page 39 of Holden: Bucked By Love (Crawford Ridge Ranch #1)

Leni

To say I'm flabbergasted as I stand in a green grove of trees, next to a silent cowboy, with more sweat gathered under my bra than I'd prefer, would be an understatement. Let's look at the facts.

But most importantly

He hands me the picnic basket and the handle is rough in my hands as I take it.

I snuggle it against my stomach as he holds the speaker in his free hand and lays the bike gently on its side.

I almost tease him about trying to protect the bike from damage, but according to his brothers it took him a few days to get it put together thanks to it being shipped without some bolts it needed.

Instead I follow him to the center of the grove where there's a clearing large enough to host a small wedding.

I know, because that's exactly what we did.

He takes the big basket from me and pulls a blanket out, spreads it on the ground, and gestures for me to take a seat before he does the same.

He gets comfortable, taking off his hat to reveal damp, nearly black hair, and that summer tan line that splits his forehead into half pale and half olive skin.

Next he kicks off his boots and then his socks, sighing as the breeze cools his bare feet and head.

I do the same, toeing off my sneakers and socks, and then lean back on my hands as I wiggle my toes. I tip my face back to the dots of sunlight coming through the leaf cover and close my eyes.

"So, you might be wondering why I brought you here," he says, deadpan, and I laugh over at him.

"It's a puzzle," I respond, opening my eyes to take him in.

He grins, and I match it, my stomach twisting with affection.

He reaches into the basket to pull out homemade ham sandwiches, two apples, and two individual bottles of sparkling cider.

Honestly, the simplicity of the meal hits me harder than something fancy and candlelit would have.

I picture him in the kitchen of the camper making sandwiches with his work-roughened hands, and I melt.

It's so basic, but it's so him. Never looking for big things, content with what's on hand.

I unwrap my sandwich and take a bite, looking around the grove and remembering our wedding day.

He'd been painfully handsome in his suit, clean-shaven, hair actually styled.

But it had been the way his hazel eyes had tracked me as I came down the aisle toward him that had punched me in the chest. He was so young, hadn't even truly finished filling out his full masculine size, but he was the most incredible thing that had ever happened to me.

"It was a perfect day," I say when I've swallowed. "Fourteen years next month."

"You, in that dress . . ." He trails off as he sucks in his lips, his eyes growing soft. "We were so worried about an outdoor wedding in September," he says, his voice tender with nostalgia. "Everyone told us it was too risky to hold a fall wedding where we live."

"Only two nineteen-year-olds would have thought it wasn't a big deal. I think it was the only dry September on record." I grin. "The heavens smiled on us that day. Do you remember how bright yellow these leaves were?"

He looks up at them and tips his chin down once. "Yeah. The afternoon light made everything look like it was glowing." His eyes are warm with memory. "You were so pretty that day," he says again.

I flush at the compliment. "I remember pinching myself that I was marrying a verified hottie."

He rolls his eyes, but I see the way he enjoys the compliment.

My eyes take in the scene, and I play the memories in my mind.

My dad walking me down the makeshift aisle, Steph waiting as my maid of honor.

Walker and Landry standing up front with Holden.

It was such a hope-filled day. A wave of sorrow and love for those two naive kids hits me and I set my sandwich down in my lap.

"We had so much hope," I say.

He hears the emotion in my voice and looks to me.

"I still do. You're still my Sunshine." He clears his throat and adjusts his body so he's sitting facing me.

"I'd do it again. I'd stand here and make those vows, only this time I'd take you home and do things differently.

" His hazel eyes glow intensely and he leans slightly forward.

"I'd stop listening to the voices of others and talk to you.

I'd stop trying to carry it on my own and leaving you to do the same.

I'd include you in my ups and downs, rather than always trying to protect you from my worries.

Instead of building a team, I set us on independent paths and I regret it so much. "

I reach for his hand and scoot close. "I'd stop wishing you could read my mind and start telling you how I felt. I'd chase you down, and lay you flat out, and force you to hear me."

His lips twitch. "I was a one-track mind, but it was the wrong track. I'm truly sorry, honey."

Tears fill my eyes and I nod. "I'm sorry too."

He clears his throat and looks up at the sky for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "I've had a meeting with my parents and brothers," he starts, but I interrupt him with a slap to his knee.

"You had a meeting without me? Isn't that what we're not doing anymore?" I say.

He wrinkles his nose. "I thought about involving you, but I'm out here trying to grand gesture you, and so that meant a secret meeting."

I smile. "You're grand-gesturing me?"

He nods. "Yeah. That's what this is, right now. Take note, it's not something I do often."

My smile grows. "Forgiven. Please, continue with the grand gesture."

He smiles at me and his eyes drop to my mouth, which has me licking my lips, which has him looking back up at my eyes with a little more color in his cheeks. I don't hate it. The man is still a hottie.

"The meeting was for the purpose of redividing ranch labor assignments," he says.

"It took a bit of brainstorming, but we all feel good about how things will go moving forward.

The takeaway is that no one will carry the bulk, and everyone agrees that there needs to be life away from the ranch.

" He tilts his head. "Do you want the details, or . . . ?"

I blink teasingly. "Of course I do."

"I just, I'm not used to boring you with the details," he shrugs.

I shake my head. "Which didn't work out well in the long run, right?"

"Right."

"So, please, bore me."

He grins and scrubs a hand over his beard.

"Okay. I'm going to continue to be over land management and animal movement.

That means grazing pasture rotation, water resources, fencing repairs, and scheduling when the animals will rotate between resources.

Walker will oversee animal welfare, which includes veterinary care, health-related recordkeeping, calving season, etc.

Landry will be over the boarded animals, teaching riding lessons, and sorting and branding of cattle.

He'll keep those records. We'll all work together when it's time to move herds, obviously.

And we'll all help sort and brand where needed, but I'm not organizing it all anymore.

Dad is going to help Landry, and we'll have two extra hands to help Walker and myself as floaters so that we're not having to run around so much. "

I follow along, nodding and watching his expression as he talks. He looks excited and relieved, and I'm happy to see it.

"That sounds good. What do your brothers think about it?" I ask.

His mouth tips up. "Well, my parents told me it was time for me to pull my head out and stop trying to play hero, and my brothers said they'd miss being lazy bachelors but are willing to step up."

I laugh at the boys describing themselves as lazy. They work just as hard as my husband, but this makes sense to have defined roles rather than scrambling to fill the needs with one man organizing it all .

"I don't think when your dad decided to expand that he ever intended for it to all rest on you," I say gently, squeezing the hand I'm still holding.

His expression is sheepish. "I think you're right. But I'm the oldest, and the only one with a family, and so I made the assumption and got to work. If the ranch failed, so did my family's source of income. Walker and Landry had less to lose, in my eyes. It simply made sense that I'd work hardest."

"It made sense to you ."

He grimaces. "To me. They never would have let the ranch fail either. I didn't see it, though."

"And your mom is still wanting to move ahead with weddings and events?" I ask.

"Yes." He runs his thumb over the back of my hand. "But I didn't talk to her about you at all. You said you wanted to have that conversation."

I gratefully smile. "I actually have an idea for that."

"Oh?"

"Remember Birdie, from The Two Step? I ran into her the other day and it turns out she was an event planner in Austin.

She's moved to Pinehaven and is here alone, working as a waitress at Summit Sage, which is a job she's way overqualified for.

I wonder if your mom would be willing to hire her on?

She could help make the events successful, and she knows about marketing and what clients are looking for. "

He nods slowly. "That makes a lot of sense. It would help Birdie and Mama both."

"And me," I tease, poking at his ribs with my free hand.

He grabs my hand with a grunt. "Most important part."

I laugh. "She'd have to hire someone else to clean, unless Birdie is willing to do that too. But I want to be done. "

"Does that mean you've settled on what you want to do?" he asks me.

"I'm . . ." I wiggle my shoulders. "I'm unsure. I've been looking into what it would take to get a business license and open my own yoga studio on our land."

"And?" he prods when I fall silent.

"I think it's doable, but, I don't know. I feel like so much is going on right now with us and our kids, and maybe the timing isn't right. Maybe we need to figure us out before I try to do something big like that."