Page 33 of Holden: Bucked By Love (Crawford Ridge Ranch #1)

Leni

Holden's aggrieved sigh is a sound as familiar to me as birds chirping and cows mooing, and right now it's coming at me through the speaker on my phone as I shift back and forth on nervously excited feet.

"Where are you?" he asks.

I shove down a giggle. "I'm on the north side, by the big diving rock," I reply.

Darkness fully fell about five minutes ago, and I stand at the side of Maple Pond that's the farthest from town—which isn't saying much, considering Maple Pond is in town.

When the town started building out, the city planners put the pond in the center, making it and the area around it into a community green space.

Apparently nineteen-year-old Lenora Stilton thought it would be hilarious to skinny dip in the only public pond around. She was trouble.

One side of the pond is bordered by businesses, and the other three by homes, so if we're lucky and people have gone to bed, no one will realize what this married couple is up to. Luck doesn't always follow me though, so I'm expecting some gossip to spread .

"I am way too old and respectable to be sneaking around to swim in a pond," Holden grumbles.

"Especially on a weeknight. You have a responsible big-boy job to get to in the morning," I razz him, pumped up by the pure adrenaline pouring through me.

"Why didn't we drive over together?" he asks.

"I don't know. It's more exciting this way?"

He scoffs. "Because swimming unclothed in this public pond isn't enough? You also get jazzed by me having to hunt you down first?"

"Marco . . ." I yell into the stillness around me.

He hisses into the phone. "Do not yell."

"You're supposed to say polo."

"I know the drill, Leni."

"How are you supposed to geolocate me without the polo part?" I tease.

He sighs, but there's amusement in his voice. "I see you now."

"Okay, you went spidey-senses. Good plan. Less obvious."

He chuckles and the phone goes dead right as his large shape comes out from the shadows fully dressed. Cowboy hat, Western shirt, jeans, boots, and belt buckle all intact. Like he simply walked straight from the ranch.

"You don't look prepared," I gesture at him.

He looks down at himself. "I was not driving over here in my birthday suit, Sunshine."

I laugh and blush with pleasure at his use of my long-ago nickname. He used to tell me I was nothing but sunshine, and he was a man who loved some sun .

I point at myself. "Swimsuit, cover-up, beach towels. I'm prepared to swim."

"And I'm prepared to have no one wonder why I'm driving through town at ten o'clock in my beachwear."

We hold each other's gaze for a moment and I shake my head and breathe in through my nose. "I have a plan."

"For what?"

"For how to . . . disrobe and enter the water."

He grins, his white teeth catching the moonlight. "Disrobe? I'm intrigued."

"I'll turn my back and you get undressed and in the water. When you're under you look away and I'll do the same."

He tosses his hat onto the grass leading up to the water's edge. "Why are we playing at modesty?" he asks.

I blink. "Because we're modest people?"

"Who have been married a long time and have two children together," he says deadpan.

My face heats and my heart races as I fold my arms. "And who have been separated for almost two months."

"Yikes, did you go through a molting phase I'm not aware of, turn into a bridge troll?" he jokes.

"If anything, I've had a glow up," I retort in a playfully regal tone.

He shrugs and starts unsnapping his shirt. "I'm not pressing for anything, honey. Your plan is fine with me. Turn around."

I do, facing the back yards of dark homes, hoping none of them have security cameras. The homes aren't super close, and any footage would be grainy at best, but the thought is enough for me to feel awkward about what we're doing .

"Why did you choose Maple Pond for this?" Holden asks, and I hear his belt buckle jangle as he unhooks it.

I chew my lip and kick off my sandals to wiggle my toes in the cool grass. "At the time I must have thought it felt scandalous. I had a thing for that."

"Congrats. It is indeed scandalizing me."

I laugh, put a little at ease by his obvious nerves.

At least I'm not alone in questioning this choice.

The air is still heated from the day, but with the sun having set, things will start feeling cool quickly in the high mountain range we call home.

I know the water won't be warm in the deeper parts where we'll have to go to maintain some level of cover, and I shiver at the idea.

How long do we have to stay in there for it to count?

At dinner tonight Mason had made me swear we'd go through with it, and the reminder of how much he wants us to figure things out had steeled my resolve.

"I'm not going to lie," I call over my shoulder, "I thought about coming out and pretending we'd gone through with it but not actually getting in."

Holden huffs behind me. "Me too. At the very least cheat a little by wearing a suit. But Mason got to me."

"Me too."

"After announcing to my dad and Walker that this was happening tonight."

I gasp, and without thinking turn to look back at him. "No!"

He's standing there holding his jeans in his hands, still wearing underwear, and smirks when our eyes meet. "Not feeling modest right now?" he cracks .

I spin back around quickly, my face hot again. "Sorry." I puff out some air. "I'm not looking forward to seeing Walker ever again, not because I'm embarrassed to do this, but because he'll never let the story die."

More movement from behind me, and then I hear the splashing of him entering the water.

He makes a little eep sound at the temperature and after a bigger splash he calls out that it's my turn.

His voice is a little higher pitched and breathless than usual, which has me fearing how cold it'll be out there.

I undress and run into the water at full speed before I can talk myself out of it. It's not so bad at first, the sun having warmed the shallow areas, but by the time it hits my belly I suck in a breath and make an eep of my own.

"Just drop in up to your shoulders real quick," Holden advises. "Get it over with faster."

I drop in and my breath is sucked from me. "This is the worst. It never gets better."

I shuffle out until the water is over my shoulders and my toes can still touch the bottom to keep me anchored, but once I've found a good place to hang out I tread to stay as warm as I can.

"How long do we have to be here?" he asks as he turns to face me from a few feet away. "The list didn't say."

"Until the cops are called," I reply, trailing my fingers through the water as my arms move side-to-side.

"Please tell me you're joking," he states.

I grin, and then laugh and splash water at him. "Of course I'm joking. Can you imagine? The police would take one look at us, laugh, and go back to the station because the idea of responsible Holden Crawford doing something so disreputable would be the joy of their week. "

He splashes me lightly in return, and I catch him smiling back in the moonlight. "They'd cuff me and haul me to jail."

I wipe the water droplets off my face. "They'd buy you pie at Summit Sage."

We fall into amused silence and it's nice, actually. Quiet, but daring. Fun.

"I, uh, was checking out that shed on our property tonight before I came out here. The one you mentioned turning into a yoga studio," he says, too casually, looking up at the sky.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It has good bones. I think we could insulate the walls and put up sheetrock, paint it out, replace the floors, add some lighting and maybe HVAC of some sort so it could be used year-round. It has potential." He looks back at me. "If that's something you're still interested in."

I have to swallow over the lump forming in my throat. He listened, and then put it into action.

"Yeah. I am."

He smacks his lips together. "Okay."

"What about you?" I ask him. "If you could choose any path for your life, where would it take you?"

He's quiet, tipping his head back to dip it in the water and then rubbing the trails of liquid off his face when he stands straight again.

"That's both hard and easy to answer. I always wanted a family, and I like working the ranch.

You'd think I have everything I ever wanted.

And yet . . . " He pauses and my heart thumps as I wait to see where he'll go with this.

"And yet, none of it has worked out quite how I hoped it would, you know? "

He looks to me and I nod, because I do know. On paper there's not a thing wrong with our life, but in reality, well . . . it got bent out of whack.

"What would it take to make it feel successful to you?" I ask, daring to keep pressing.

If we're going to come back together we have to rebuild this between us, even though I feel like I'm walking on a pirate gangplank every time I reach out. I'm brave, though, because he's begun to reach back, to keep me from falling off that proverbial edge.

"I'd like to step back a little. Dad semi-retired and I took it all without questioning anything.

Walker has his place with the animal welfare and recordkeeping, so he's pretty set.

Landry, well, I think he could take some off my plate, but at the same time, he's sort of the do-everything guy and just goes where he's needed.

I'm not sure what it looks like yet." His hands float on top of the water like mine, and his shoulders sparkle with water droplets as he swishes around.

"I want to be with the kids more. They're getting so grown up. "

My stomach clenches as it does every time I really look at my babies and see how big they've gotten.

"I know. Mason surprises me every day with how much he's maturing.

Josi isn't a baby anymore. She has the most insightful thoughts.

Can you believe they're almost thirteen and eight?

I can still remember so clearly being thirteen. "

"I'm missing it," he mumbles.