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Chapter Twenty-One

T hat morning at breakfast, Selina noticed that Lydia was especially quiet. She hardly touched her food, and even their mother turned to Selina as if she might be able to do something. She had promised Lydia that she would speak to Hugh, and she would.

But he’d not come to the table for breakfast. No one had seen him at all today, and Selina had to assume that he was holed up in his study—Easton’s study—once more. The stays beneath her dress pinched her side when she adjusted in her chair, her own appetite failing.

I need to speak with him. This cannot continue. I must do whatever I can to protect my sisters .

The world felt so distant, as if it existed beyond an invisible barrier that kept her from interacting with it as she might normally.

Her pulse was too noticeable in her ears and chest, and Selina’s stomach was tight, refusing to take in any more food.

It had gone so far, in fact, that the once delightful smells were nauseating, too abundant, and discordant among the several other smells wafting through the house.

There was no use in putting this all off. The longer Selina waited to speak with Hugh about what she intended to do about Lydia, the worse it would be. It was better to go now and face the Duke with this new plan that might actually work.

She stood up from the table. “Excuse me, but I must speak with our Duke about an urgent matter.” Selina glanced at Lydia, offering a small smile. “I will come find you after, Sister.”

Lydia nodded back, her expression one of worry and anticipation that made her brows knit together as she rolled her lips between her teeth.

Looking briefly at Myra, Selina offered her youngest sister a reassuring grin and exited the dining room, heading straight to the study.

When she arrived at the door, she knocked firmly on the wood, noting the way it vibrated through her knuckles.

“Your Grace, if I can, I would like to have a word with you.”

There was a moment of pause that sat as heavy on Selina’s shoulders as a rain-soaked fur rug. She sucked in a breath through her nose, counting in her head to distract herself from waiting. One, two, three, four. One, two, three ? —

“Come in, Selina.”

Her fingers trembled as she reached for the door, but Selina pushed on. She had taught herself how to be the picture of a lady, and she would not let that hard work fail her now when she needed it most.

The Duke sat at the desk near the back of the room, silhouetted by the window behind him. The morning light that bled through it made Hugh look all the darker in her chair, almost as if he were made of solid night. He did not look up right away as she entered, and Selina closed the door behind her.

This was a private conversation, and she did not wish for Lydia or Myra to overhear before Selina had acquired an answer from the Duke.

“I do apologize for interrupting you, Your Grace. I am sure that you have?—”

“Out with it, Selina. Why have you come to me so early in the morning?”

It was unclear why precisely, but the Duke was in a foul mood.

They had not spoken to each other, had not discussed the events of the theater, and his sour countenance made Selina wonder if she should have come to talk to him sooner.

Still, on Hugh’s desk, Selina could see many papers, including one that resembled the dowry and pre-marriage contracts that had been arranged for her marriage to Easton.

“Firstly, I wish to thank you for bringing Lydia back into the estate last night. I know that she attempted to run away, and I am glad that you were able to convince her to come back inside.”

At that, Hugh glanced up at her, his brow furrowed. “And how do you know of that?”

“I admit, Your Grace, that I could not sleep last evening. I lay awake in my bed when I heard the two of you talking outside my window. I waited for Lydia in her room afterward, and we had a long discussion about her duties.”

He quirked a brow, leaning back in his chair. “I see. And secondly?”

This was the portion of the conversation that Selina had been nervous to begin.

She had thought about the situation until she could no longer keep her eyes open last night, and while she was resolved to put her suggestion up for discussion with the Duke, her heart still beat furiously in her chest, a caged bird trying to break free.

Selina crossed the room, coming to a stop in front of the massive wooden desk.

It’d been stained a warm, dark brown, and it’d always been a favorite piece of furniture of hers in the entire estate.

She’d watched her late husband sit there and attend to business as she took up residence on the small chaise that sat in the corner.

Flicking her gaze to it now, a fine layer of dust covered the fabric of the settee. She hadn’t sat there in so long, and Hugh hardly let anyone, let alone the housekeeper and maids, inside this study, it seemed.

Steady yourself, Selina. You are sure. You can do this.

“Secondly,” Selina cleared her throat as it attempted to close, pulling her hands together in front of herself and squeezing them, “I have a suggestion on how to handle the arrangements of my sisters. One that might ensure that Lydia does not attempt to run away again.”

The room was silent for several seconds, and then Hugh stood up from his chair and walked to the front of the desk. He leaned back against it, perching on the edge. He regarded her, a mixture of curiosity and concern on his face. She cursed to herself yet again that he was so disarmingly handsome.

He’d not shaved in a moment, and the subtle scruff on his chin was a sight to see. Beards were common among much older gentlemen, but this in-between state was not something she was used to seeing.

“Go on. What is this suggestion that will keep me from having to wrangle your sister like an unruly cat?”

Irritation flared through Selina. Lydia could be a bit vexing, of course, but the Duke had insulted her sister to her face.

It was hardly a surprise coming from him.

Even after all their etiquette lessons, Hugh refused to acknowledge them when they were in the privacy of the estate.

While it was refreshing at times, this was certainly not one of them.

He is markedly more cruel when his mood is sour. He lets his emotions get the best of him, and still, Hugh has the gall to accuse me of being rash, of provoking reactions from him when he is obviously doing the same thing to me now.

She would not sink to that level, however. Selina was determined to convince Hugh that this was the best course of action.

“I have an alternative to your ultimatum regarding my sisters’ engagements.

When I marry, I will take them with me. I will bring along my mother as well.

You will have all of us out of the estate, as you have mentioned is your desire, and you will not have to wait until Lydia or Myra are of age.

A fine deal. And should Magnus refuse to allow it, I shall simply find another match that will.

Though I do not believe that will be an issue. ”

She didn’t mention that the reason she believed that was because Magnus was bringing in Kitty.

If the girl had friends to entertain herself with, such as Lydia and Myra, it would be to the benefit of everyone.

Magnus would not have to worry over her, and Selina would be able to share some of the responsibility of looking after Kitty with her sisters and mother.

It was a satisfactory arrangement for all of them, indeed, and that included Hugh. He would have had his empty house much sooner, as desired.

“You will have your estate, and the women under your roof will be all transferred to the care of a gentleman of good standing and in a much better timeline than previously assumed. I can see no reason why this shouldn’t work out perfectly for all of us.”

Hugh was quiet, his expression unreadable. It was a talent of his, and Selina continued to hate it. What was he thinking?

The air around her began to weigh more and more, a thickening substance that coated her skin and sought to press her down to the floor.

Selina struggled to take in a breath, noting the way Hugh’s stare had fallen to the rug that lay between them.

She watched him clench his jaw and then glance up at her once more.

“So, am I to assume then that you plan to wed Magnus? You have chosen him as your match?”

Selina was taken aback by the question. That had been all but guaranteed since the moment he asked to court her.

There had been no refusal or unfortunate circumstances since their first outing together, and with that all the case, there was only one logical place that the courting would lead to—marriage.

“Well, yes, of course.” She swallowed hard, something happening deep inside her chest as the words came out. “That is the intended goal of the courtship. I have had no reason to deny his proposal whenever he intends to deliver it.”

What was this? Why did Selina suddenly feel sorrowful? This was not what she’d expected when she arrived here. The plan was to accept Magnus’ proposal and take her family with her, freeing them from the pressure of living with Hugh and freeing him of her.

Why did she feel then as if she couldn’t breathe?

Why did the corners of her eyes burn as her stomach dropped into her feet?

Selina knew that she held no great joy over marrying Magnus.

It was a match of convenience, of course, but he had been a friend for several years.

She knew he would treat her with kindness.

But imagining him on his knee in front of her, asking for her hand, filled Selina with an abrupt dread that choked her as sure as a fist. It was so much worse than how she had felt at the notion of marrying Easton before they had met.

Because you did not have anyone else you wished to ask you then.

The thought was a foreign intruder, and Selina had to force herself to remain calm, to fight the need to cry back as fervently as she could.

“No reason to deny it of course.” Hugh’s head bobbed as he nodded lightly several times. “No, I suppose you do not.”

Selina’s nerves fired beneath her skin as if she’d grabbed a hot poker with her bare hands. What was Hugh saying? What was he implying ?

Swallowing again, Selina flicked her stare down to the familiar red and teal rug and then back up at the Duke.

“Did… did you have another alternative you wished to bring forth?”

What was she doing? Why was she asking him that?

It was a terrible idea, putting too many unwise thoughts in both their heads.

Hugh stared directly at her for several heartbeats, each one becoming more desperate than the last as the quiet proceeded.

Words unspoken lingered in his gaze, and unaware that she was doing so, Selina took several steps closer to him.

His lips parted softly, as if he might speak, but the sound was still caught in his throat. Hugh ran his gaze over her face, the intensity of his eyes burning her flesh wherever they landed.

Selina remembered the incidents that had taken place in this room.

She recalled the theater and how Hugh had excited her to the point of completion while she sat right next to her mother, her soon-to-be fiancé in the seat over.

The feeling of his touch haunted her skin, goosebumps rising to the surface as they remained frozen in each other’s stares.

The desire for tears and furious heartbeats plagued her. What did Selina want from all this? What did she want from Hugh?

She could not bring herself to answer those questions.

Too much could be steered off course by her previous rash actions.

Selina didn’t dare risk another. Yet, something within her still called out silently for Hugh—a thread of shimmering red, only perceptible to heavenly eyes, that wound between them and would not let go.

Hugh blinked, seeming to catch himself in the act of staring at last. He quietly stepped back, his gaze dropping to the ground. At once, the aura around him shifted from charged to defeated.

“No.”

It was all he said in response to her, and Hugh did not look up from the floor. Pain lanced through Selina’s chest, a fissure appearing in the center of her being.

She was heartbroken.

A subconscious part of her had hoped he would say yes, that he would have another plan that might involve himself.

The realization that she felt that way was only followed by the grief and disappointment she had come to see as constant bedfellows in her life.

Duty and presentation took precedence, and it would remain that way, it seemed, until the day she claimed her last breath.

It had been foolish to think that she could seize a forbidden happiness. The was no life of passion with the man before her. There was only her obligation to her family, and the weight of caring for them forever mounted to her shoulders.

“Then, I shall proceed with the courting, ensuring that Magnus is willing to take in my family as well. There… there is space for them, so it should not be an issue.”

Hugh said nothing, but a single nod barely moved his head.

With her throat tightening and her chest aching, Selina turned away from Hugh and left the study behind her.