Page 96 of Hideaway Heart

But she would be. Someday, she would be.

The feeling stayed with me, and it put me on edge. By the time we got home, it had driven a wedge of tension between us. I’d been silent the entire drive back, and now we were in the bedroom. Door closed. Light on. Shades down.

I toed off my sneakers and kicked them aside, frustrated I hadn’t been able to wear my boots in over a week. I removed my earrings and bracelets and tossed them in my suitcase, not even bothering with my jewelry bag.

“Are you okay?” Xander asked from behind me.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Just a little tired.” It wasn’t like I could tell him that among other bullshit problems I had at the moment, I didn’t like the thought of sharing him with his future wife. That was insane. What Xander and I had was a vacation fling, not a forever thing. It would never work. Our lives had crossed like railroad tracks, but each train was heading in a different direction.

“Their house can be a lot, with two kids.” His tone was apologetic.

“No, no, it’s not that at all—the kids are adorable. Austin is so nice, and Veronica is wonderful.” I turned to find him leaning back against the door, sizing me up. “I think I’m still aggravated from that phone call with Duke. And the fact that Wags thinks I should just do what the producers want. And of course, the producers will do whatever Duke tells them to, because he’s the big name.” I threw my hands up in surrender. “It’s the same old, same old. The men are in charge.”

“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”

“You don’t know what it’s like.” I didn’t want to take it out on him, but I couldn’t stop the words from spilling from my mouth as I stood there studying him. His shoulders were like mountains. His legs like Sequoias, his chest like the side of a cliff. “You’re big and strong. You’re always in control. You have no idea what it’s like to feel powerless.”

He studied me for a moment, then pushed off the door and took a few steps forward, so we were chest to chest.

Then he dropped to his knees. “Show me.”

Right there on the bedroom floor, he went down on his knees for me.

“What?” I whispered.

“Show me,” he urged, and his voice was so deep and his shoulders so wide and his height so excessive that even on his knees, he hardly seemed any less powerful.

But it was enough.

He understood.

Rushing forward, I cupped his bearded face in my hands and pressed my lips to his. Penetrated his mouth with my tongue. Controlled the angle and depth and heat of the kiss in a way I couldn’t have done from beneath him. Need for him surged within me, and I thought maybe my plan had backfired, because I felt even more helpless than I had before.

Falling to my knees in front of him, I pulled his black T-shirt over his head and unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his jeans, and tugged down the zipper. After wriggling one leg out of my panties, I left them hooked around one ankle and pushed against Xander’s chest. He lay back on his elbows obligingly, and I straddled his legs, dragging his jeans down to his thighs. Unbound, his cock sprang free and I took it in my hand, slipping it through my fist a few times. With the light on, I could see how different parts of his body reacted to my touch. I liked the way his abs flexed and his eyes darkened and his chest rose and fell in quick succession. I liked the way his hands curled into fists. I liked the tension in his jaw. I liked the deep purple color of his erection as it thickened and lengthened further in my hand.

Most of all, I liked that his body was mine tonight, that he’d surrendered it to me. That he’d ceded control. For Xander, that didn’t come easily. It took trust, the way this morning’s photographs had for me.

I lowered my mouth onto him, licking the warm, smooth crown and sucking the tip. He groaned with tortured delight. “I wish I could get my hands on you.”

“Not yet. I get to have my way with you first.” Suddenly I had an idea.

“Your way?”

“Yes.” I picked up my head and smiled coyly at him. “Don’t move, if you know what’s good for you.”

One of his brows quirked up.

Popping to my feet, I went over to the side of the bed and reached beneath it, pulling out my mini vibrator. Returning to him, I pulled his jeans all the way off and knelt between his legs. My thumb hit the button on the toy, bringing it to life. It hummed in my hand as I lowered my head again, running my tongue from the base of his shaft to the tip. Then I did it again while gently pressing the vibrator to his balls.

He inhaled sharply. “Oh, fuck.”

I took the head in my mouth and sucked while moving the toy along his shaft, careful not to press too hard or go too fast. But judging by the sounds he made and the way his dick was reacting in my mouth, he found the sensations pleasurable. I moved it between his legs again, farther back this time. He cursed and groaned, his body growing tense, his breath coming fast.

I used firmer pressure with the toy, and his climax erupted suddenly, a grunt tearing from his throat as he grabbed my head and fisted a hand in my hair, his hips bucking off the floor as his cock surged again and again in my mouth.

When the spasms faded, he moved away from me and the vibrator, which had probably become unbearable. “Christ. What did you just do to me?”

I sat back on my heels, switching off the vibrator and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Did you like it?”