Page 109 of Hideaway Heart

“No. Believe it or not, he’s actually been a gentleman all week.”

“Is it that former bodyguard?” Kayla wondered. “I heard there was someone threatening to sue, of all the ridiculous things.”

“He was threatening, but he backed off. It’s not that.”

“Is it your dad?” Jess asked gently. “I know it’s hard on you when he comes and goes the way he does.”

“That does get to me,” I admitted, “but I don’t think it’s him.”

“Is it Xander?” Kayla asked. “I haven’t wanted to pry, but what’s going to happen when he goes back to Michigan?”

“I don’t know.” I fought off tears again. “But I suppose that could be it. Beneath all this great stuff is this fear that I’m never going to see him again, never feel as good as I do when I’m with him.”

“Have you told him that?” Jess asked.

I shook my head. “No. It’s just sort of understood that when we part ways, we’ll part ways. I don’t think either one of us is into the idea of a long-distance relationship.”

“So it’s all or nothing?” Jess cocked her head. “I mean, you guys just met. Maybe there’s room to start slow and let it grow. See what happens.”

“But I don’t think I’d do well if we weren’t exclusive. I’d hate the thought that when we’re apart, he might be with someone else. Actually, it makes me feel physically sick.”

“You need to talk to him,” Kayla urged. “You’ll be sorry if you don’t. Trust me when I say the dating pool around here is shallow and scummy.”

“I think your taste in men might be an issue,” Jess teased.

“Tell me about it. It’s like I’m only attracted to losers. ‘What? You’ve got no money, no steady job, no car, and you’re sleeping on your friend’s couch? No, thanks. Oh wait, you play the guitar? Take my body.’” She shook her head. “Someday, I will like an actual grown-up man.”

“Xander is definitely a grown-up man,” I said. “As far as I’m concerned, he’s got everything going for him except that he lives far away. He works hard, he’s devoted to his family, he makes me laugh, he’s got a big heart, and he gets me like nobody ever has.”

“He’s not bad to look at either,” drawled Jess. “And I’ve only seen him fully clothed.”

“I can confirm he is quite nice to look at with no clothes on,” I said, laughing. “Ten out of ten.”

“Then what are you doing here with us?” Kayla prodded. “Go talk to him. Right now. Get out of here.”

“But it’s so scary.” I chewed the end of my straw. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way I do?”

“Then you’ll know it’s not meant to be,” said Jess with a shrug. “But at least you won’t always wonder what might have happened if you’d been brave enough to ask.”

* * *

When my driver brought me home, Xander was there waiting to introduce me to my new head of security—a huge guy named Marius with dark skin, a deep but gentle voice, and sharp brown eyes. Xander had told me all about him, and after a few minutes, I could see why he’d been the favorite candidate. I especially loved his reaction when I asked to see a photo of his little girl—he immediately pulled out his phone and showed off pictures of an adorable baby just learning to crawl, as well as his beautiful wife.

“I can’t wait to meet them,” I said with a tired smile. “Welcome aboard.”

He nodded, returning the smile. “Thank you.”

“Tomorrow, Marius and I will go over to the auditorium where the awards are taking place and check things out. I spoke to Wags about getting us security clearance. He says it won’t be a problem.”

“Okay.” My voice cracked, and my throat felt dry. I needed some water. Maybe some ibuprofen too. I had a headache.

Xander was looking at me carefully, like he knew something was wrong. Could he tell I’d been crying? He turned to Marius again and held out his hand. “Thanks for coming today. I’ll see you at nine tomorrow, and we can do the paperwork after that.”

“Sounds good.” He shook Xander’s hand and nodded at me. “See you tomorrow.”

After showing him out, Xander took my elbow and led me straight up to my bedroom. Closing the door behind us, he took me by the upper arms and looked at me with serious dark eyes. “What’s wrong, baby?”

I opened my mouth to start the conversation, but instead of the careful words I’d rehearsed on the way home, I burst into tears and threw myself into his arms. Face in my hands, I sobbed against his broad, comforting chest while he held me, saying nothing. He stroked my hair and my back. He rocked me gently. He made deep, soft shushing sounds that sounded like waves on the shore. I cried it out until my eyes went dry and his shirt was soaked, and all I had left in me were a few leftover shudders.