Page 23 of Her Wolf of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #1)

CHAPTER 23

E mma had not expected Levi to respond the way he had to what she had said about her father.

She hadn’t been certain of how he would react, but it was not a blunt assertion that he did not wish to cross his path again. Frankly, it was an ideal way for him to feel, as all in all she felt much the same way. There was no need for them to see one another once Sarah was married and therefore no longer living there, and it was easier that way for all involved.

The following morning, she awoke feeling brighter than she had in a long time. She had enjoyed her night with her husband, with him even walking her to her bedchambers before leaving for his own. She knew that he would be sending for a modiste to see her that day, and so she dressed herself (she was still forgetting that she had a maid to do such things for her) and left for breakfast.

To her surprise, the Dowager Duchess was already sitting there, as if waiting for her.

“Good morning, Emma,” she said gently. “Did you sleep well?”

“Very much so, Eloise. Did you?”

“Indeed. Though I will say, I heard the two of you playing the pianoforte very late.”

“My apologies. I had not thought that you would have been able to hear it.”

“I was wandering the hallway. You have no need to apologize, however, as I thought it was quite beautiful. You are certainly very talented.”

“Oh! No, it was not me playing, but Levi. He plays very well, does he not?”

Eloise pressed her lips together in a very tight and thin line.

“Yes, it would appear so.”

“You do not usually eat with me,” Emma continued, trying to change the subject. “What has inspired such change?”

“It is quite lonely in my wing. I thought we might both enjoy the company.”

“I certainly would, yes. In fact, I will be seeing the modiste today about a few gowns. Would you like to join me?”

The older lady’s eyes sparkled, and Emma knew at once that her invitation would be accepted. She felt a twinge of guilt, as she knew that the lady had mistreated the Duke, but she wanted to find a way to bring them together one day. Even if that never happened, it would be nice to have a friend there.

The modiste arrived that afternoon, armfuls of green fabric in tow. It was as if Eloise came alive, and at once she leaped into action, choosing the fabrics for each gown. They designed twenty in total, spending hours together deciding on them. The first would be delivered in time for the ball, and from there she would receive one per week.

When the modiste left, Eloise noticed a scrap that had fallen on the floor. It was a pale green silk, and she placed it on her lap and stroked it between her fingers. Emma watched her, pitying her for the life she had led. She would have had dreams, once, as any girl did, and instead she had been pushed into a life she never would have wished to lead.

“You know,” Eloise said gently, “I have not had a new gown in years now.”

“Did Levi never have any made for you?”

“Oh, he certainly offered, but I never accepted any. I did not think I was worthy of new things, not after how I have always treated him.”

“Do you… do you regret it?” she asked carefully.

“I do, in truth. I find it so difficult to be a mother to him, and I always have. I think about how I treat him, and I feel… I feel that I have failed in the one duty remaining to me. In truth, such thoughts have occurred more often now that you are here. I suppose that your being here, seeing him as someone worthy of being liked, possibly even loved, has proven to me that my treatment of him was my own fault.”

“It wasn’t solely you that was to blame.”

“But it was,” she smiled sadly, tears in her eyes. “I had many opportunities over the years to be a good mother, and to treat him like the child I had so wanted as a girl, but now I shall never have that chance.”

“You have that chance now, if you wish to take it.”

But the Dowager Duchess simply smiled sadly and shook her head.

“From what I have been told about him by my staff, and by you, I do not deserve a son like him, and even now I cannot believe how he has become the man he is. He should have become a tyrant, but… Well, I missed my chance to be a mother to him, and I cannot do anything about that not.”

“You can still change. You could do it even now. It does not matter that he is no longer a boy. Change can occur whenever one wishes to do it, after all. Why, I have changed so much of late that I would hardly recognize myself if I saw the lady I was a year ago.”

“You are fortunate for that. My issue is that I never did change. I had assumed, when my husband passed, that I might at last become the lady I had always wanted to be. I dreamed of being soft and gentle and kind, but it never happened. I still looked at my son with disgust, and I refused to leave the household the way that I always had.”

“Well, we could change that,” Emma suggested. “We could do it right now, and take a carriage into town.”

Eloise brightened for a moment, but then slumped once more, as if already defeated.

“I would love to, but I am afraid that it has been so long that I would not know my way.”

“I have never been, and so we shall be just as lost as each other! You never know, we may enjoy it. Even if you loathe it entirely, you can at least say that you tried. It would be an honor if you accompanied me.”

The Dowager Duchess made a few small noises to herself for a moment in thought, and then straightened herself.

“Very well,” she nodded. “I would love to.”

The two ladies left to prepare for their day, and soon enough Emma was on her way to the front door. On her way, however, she was met by Levi, who looked her up and down with curiosity.

“Are you going anywhere interesting?”

“Indeed,” she replied, laughing nervously. “I am… I am going to town with your mother.”

His smile faltered momentarily, but he fixed it once more.

“How have you managed to persuade her to do that?”

“She has regrets,” she explained quickly. “We have decided that we cannot live with regrets anymore, and so we are going to do what we can to remedy the situation. You are welcome to join us, if you wish.”

He shook his head instantly.

“I couldn’t. I do not wish to intrude. Go, enjoy yourselves. You know the rules, you may purchase whatever takes your fancy, and you may take all of the time that you need. I only ask that you are home for dinner.”

Emma nodded happily, leaving for the door. She met Eloise there, and the two left for their carriage. Emma watched the scenery change as they traveled, and she was vaguely aware that Eloise was watching her. She wondered if Eloise pitied her.

“Might you have anywhere in particular that you wish to go?” Emma asked, looking back at the Dowager Duchess.

“I should like to see a modiste, although I would much prefer one that can fashion gowns of my style rather than your own. That is not to say I dislike what you wear, but I am rather too old for them.”

“We can do that. I would like to find a nice new quill, so that I may write to my sister. I miss her terribly, but fortunately I shall see her at the ball.”

“Is she married, too?”

“No, not as yet. She is not yet twenty years of age, and so she has time. Even so, she is quite taken with a baron, and she hopes to marry him soon.”

“Ah, a baron. She does not care for titles, then?”

“No, and she never has. She only wishes to marry for love, even though our father tried everything he could to change her mind. It is fortunate that she has found a nice gentleman that she has fallen for, as he was practically at his wit’s end.”

“She mustn’t bend to his will,” Eloise said firmly. “No matter what he says, she must do what pleases her. If this Baron makes her happy, then she must do all that she can to keep hold of him.”

“I agree. I have told her as much myself, and I am quite certain that she will do so.”

She told Eloise what happened at that final ball, and how Sarah had dance with the Baron in spite of her being forbidden from doing so. She neglected to mention what she had done herself as an act of rebellion, however. Eloise’s eyes sparkled at the tale.

“I should very much like to meet this girl. You younger ladies are bolder than we ever were, and though we should look down on you for that I cannot bring myself to. Perhaps, had I been brave enough to do the same, I would have lived a happier life.”

She sighed, and Eloise tried to smile encouragingly at her, raising an eyebrow pointedly.

“Yes, yes, I know,” Eloise smiled. “We will change our circumstances. I will try.”

“That is all that can be asked of you.”

When they arrived in town, they made their way into a different modiste than the one that had visited that day. It was an older lady, thankfully, who displayed older-style designs. Eloise brightened at the sight of them, and within minutes she had requested five. The modiste took her measurements, and then they left once more. Already, Emma could see a difference in the lady. She was smiling, walking taller, and she seemed almost confident in herself.

Then the whispers began.

They were very quiet at first, and few and far between, but it was as though they became more confident in what they were saying as Emma and Eloise passed them by.

“That cannot be the Dowager Duchess,” one lady whispered.

“It is, indeed,” an older lady replied, “I would recognize her anywhere.”

“But she has not left her home since her husband passed away!”

“Yes, that tends to happen when one is accused of causing it.”

Emma paused, and that alone was enough to silence the two ladies. She turned and looked at them, and in an instant they avoided her gaze and turned away, walking elsewhere.

“You must ignore them,” she said softly. “I suppose scandal has changed greatly since you were out in society.”

“No, it has always been this way. It was one of the things I had hoped would have changed by now, but it would appear not.”

“Do not pay it any mind. What they are saying is not true, and so we cannot give it any attention as though it is.”

“But it is true. I was accused of a most heinous crime when my husband passed away.”

“That does not signify. It is not true, and so we will not be listening to it. Instead, we shall enjoy our time here as Duchess and Dowager Duchess of Lupton, and we shall return home when it pleases us.”

Thankfully, her mother-in-law agreed, and they continued on their way. The whispers continued, but nobody was brave enough to say it to their face and so it was an easy time away. By the time they were in the carriage once again, Emma wondered if she might be late to dinner. Eloise seemed wary of it, too.

“You may tell him that I am to blame, if you miss dinner,” she assured her. “It is my fault, after all.”

“It is nobody’s fault. We simply enjoyed ourselves and lost track of time. He shall understand.”

They arrived just in time, and Levi met them in the hallway. He greeted them both politely, and they gave him a brief explanation as to what they had been doing. He listened rather intently before taking Emma to dinner, Eloise leaving to have hers in her own wing of the estate.

“The gowns were an excellent idea,” he said brightly. “I do not know how you convinced her, but it is precisely what she needs. I have been looking at those same gowns since I was a boy. I do not know how she still manages to wear them.”

“She told me that you have suggested such a thing before. She believes that she is undeserving of the finer things.”

“I suppose she regrets a lot about her behavior when I was a boy, and what she continues to do now.”

“Do you ever want it to be different? She certainly does.”

“Of course I do, but it will never happen. It has been this way for too long now, and though she has grown kinder since your arrival, you must know that a mere month ago she was still unkind to me. This is how she is now, and it is for the best that we avoid one another.”

“It is a shame, for I truly do think she wants to be a good mother to you. It would be nice for her to join us for a meal one day, perhaps?”

“I suppose that would be tolerable. We might also secure her an invitation for the ball. Now that she will have a few gowns to wear, she may well wish to accompany us.”

“I think that is a wonderful idea. Would you be happy for that to happen?”

“I cannot say that it delights me, but my mother deserves some grace. She did not have an easy marriage, and it is not her fault that she did not want me. My father did not give her much say in the matter, after all.”

Emma did not mention that he was doing the same thing to her, and not allowing her to discuss the matter of children, as he was happy and they were having an important conversation that she did not wish to ruin.

“I hadn’t expected her to change this quickly,” he continued. “You have been good for her. Somehow, you bring a maternal instinct out of her that I never could. I am so pleased about that. No one deserves to be locked away forever, even if they choose their own cage.”

Emma smiled, allowing herself to accept the compliment.

The invitation was easily secured, and Eloise beamed at the news. At once, she left to plan how she would have her hair, and which jewelry she would select. Emma had a far easier time with that task.

She would have her hair pinned up in whichever way her lady’s maid pleased, and she would wear her gold locket.