Page 18 of Her Wolf of a Duke (Dukes & Beasts #1)
CHAPTER 18
B eing a duchess, even an unloved one, came with many good things.
For one, it meant that the modiste was more than happy to prioritize her wedding gown, as well as her five new nightdresses and other items for her trousseau. As she was without her mother, Sarah and her friends had been more than happy to accompany her into town. They did, however, seem faintly concerned for her.
“Are you quite certain that you are alright?” Cecilia asked. “This cannot be an easy position for you, given the circumstances.”
“No, it is not, but I am made of stronger stuff than whatever whispers say of me. Besides, I shall need a wedding gown with or without a modiste, and should I be forced to sew my own we shall only have even more gossip to avoid.”
She laughed, and her friends followed, but there was an undeniable awkwardness in the air. The five of them had plenty of space in the shop, and while Emma had her measurements taken her four companions selected fabric and discussed styles. Emma could hear them whispering to one another, and she wondered if they were aware that she could.
It appeared that they were not.
“Is she alright?” Dorothy whispered. “I hate to think that she is unhappy about all of this.”
“Of course she is unhappy,” Cecilia replied. “This is not what she wanted, even if it is evident that she likes His Grace. You can see it in her face that she doesn’t want any of this.”
“But that could change,” Beatrice tried. “I know of many couples that did not meet under the greatest circumstances, but they are now very much in love. Perhaps the same could happen for her?”
“She does like the Duke,” Sarah agreed. “He is fond of her, too. He would not have proposed if he did not.”
“Be that as it may,” Cecilia sighed, “if she wanted this, there would have been some happiness in her eyes, even with all of this scandal. We all know of the Duke’s reputation. It is a miracle that he did not leave her in ruin, but for now we cannot expect any more than that.”
Her fears confirmed, Emma stopped listening. She was not enough for the Duke to change his mind, only enough to do his duty. She had to accept that, and be quiet and polite while doing so. The modiste took her final measurements before going to retrieve the fabrics with a smile.
“I must confess that I cannot create too elaborate of a gown,” she explained, “but I will make something of quality.”
“That will be perfect, thank you. I do not have too many ideas, although my sister has had what feels like hundreds.”
“Well, you are a beautiful lady. You do not need anything to distract from you. What about this?”
She held up an elegant white silk, and Emma nodded without looking at it too much. It felt wrong for her to wear white, given the circumstances, but it was not as though she had a choice. She would return two days later to try the gown for the first time, and she tried not to dread it. It was more than she ever would have expected to feel about a wedding, not that she had ever expected to have one. It felt altogether too uncomfortable, but she had to continue.
She had to do it for her sister.
As they left the modiste, Emma pretended not to hear the whispering around them but it was impossible to ignore.
“Such a wanton.”
“Despair can lead to depravity, but to be so brazen–”
“And in front of so many!”
“She deserves a rake for a husband. Like finds like, after all.”
Cecilia grumbled, taking Emma’s arm tightly.
“If you would like me to respond to some of these people, I shall gladly do so.”
“That will not be necessary. I understand that I have done this to myself, and I am more than prepared to accept my punishment. Thank you, though.”
Cecilia made a regretful face. “If you insist,” she conceded, and they continued on their way.
“I cannot wait to see you in your gown,” Beatrice said dreamily. “I know she does not expect to have enough time to make anything extravagant, but that does not matter. What matters is that you will look wonderful.”
“A vision,” Sarah agreed. “And what’s more, you shall be married before me! You never would have said that before, would you?”
“No, as it was not what I had planned.”
“Even so, I couldn’t be more excited for you. It will be a perfect ceremony, and then you will go to your new home and start a new life. Who knows? You may even find a closeness with the Duke that you are not expecting. That is what we all want for you.”
Emma knew this, but she also knew that it would never happen. She felt herself tear up, but she quickly steeled herself. She had planned for her life to be loveless, and that was precisely what it would be. There would be no difference, strictly speaking, and so there was no reason to be upset about it.
“Are you quite certain about all of this?” Dorothy asked. “I know that we have already asked you, and I do not mean to anger you by asking, but this has all been so sudden, and it is the exact opposite of what you have always wanted to happen.”
“I am happy for this, I assure you,” Emma smiled. “I am fine, and the Duke and I will be happy enough. This is how it must be, and there is nothing more to it. I knew the risks, after all.”
Nobody pressed her further. A part of her hoped that they would, but she appreciated that they did not wish to upset her further. It was to be a lonely life, but it would not be so bad. She would have children to care for, eventually, and friends to see. Granted, when Dorothy and Beatrice inevitably married, their visits would be fewer and further between, but she would still see them. It would not be too terrible.
When the time came for her fitting, she listened to the same whispers on her way into and out of the modiste. The gown was perfect, and far more elaborate than she had been led to believe. Even Emma herself had to admit that she was a vision, and had she been marrying someone that she truly loved, it would have been a dream come true.
On her way home, however, she looked at the floor as she walked and saw that someone was blocking her path. She looked up to see Gretchen, that same furious look in her eye.
“Congratulations,” she said emptily, as Emma pushed past. “You successfully stole the Duke from me. I hope that you are happy.”
“Gretchen, not now.”
“Then when?” she laughed, following her. “You know what you did, and now you run away from me!. Are you a coward?”
“No, I am simply otherwise occupied. I have a wedding to plan, after all.”
It wasn’t the kindest thing to say, but in that moment she did not care about what was and was not kind. She had heard enough as it was, and all she wished to do was return home and continue with her preparations.
“You will listen to me,” Gretchen huffed, taking her wrist. “You owe me that much.”
“I do not owe you anything. I did not force you to follow the Duke everywhere and try to entrap him into marriage. It is because of you that I know him at all, considering how hard I had to try to save your own reputation.”
“No, you simply wanted him for yourself. That is why you followed him everywhere. You simply could not bear the thought of him being near another lady, one that would make a far better wife than yourself.”
“If that is how you wish to see it, then I will not stop you. I have more important things to do than stand here arguing with you.”
She hoped that Gretchen would give in and let her leave, as she was coming to the point that she would say something that she would regret, and she did not wish to do that. She wanted to have a simple enough week, as simple as one could be when there was a wedding at the end of it, and she would not allow anything to change that, even if she had to admit that Gretchen had a point.
“You need to leave him be,” Gretchen said. “You did this, and now you are going to ruin his life. You are not good enough to be his wife, you know that. No duke dreams of a spinster wife, one that is old and incapable of doing all that a wife should.”
“And yet, you were found alone together and you received no proposal,” she snapped. “Perhaps you might be better to leave me be and wonder why you are unmarried and unprotected, while I shall be a duchess in a matter of days.”
“And perhaps you might like to remember what people are saying of you. You shall never be respected. I feel for the Duke of Lupton, for he will not be able to regain any respect now. A rakish duke with his spinster wife. Truly, what a pair you are.”
Emma took the self-assured look in Gretchen’s eye to mean that she was satisfied, and would now leave her be. She turned on her heel and left for her carriage. Indeed, Gretchen didn’t say another word, and Emma could leave without any further issue.
But her issues were far from over.
It did not matter how she felt, however, not when she had so much more to contend with. Her marriage would protect her sister, and that was all that mattered.
Sarah, however, did not seem so certain of that.
“What happened?” she asked the moment Emma returned home. “I should have been with you. I knew that something would happen.”
“Nothing happened,” Emma protested, but she knew there were tears in her eyes.
“Emma, do not lie to me. What happened?”
“It was Gretchen,” she sighed. “She saw me when I was in town, and she said these terrible things to me, and I want to disbelieve it all but I cannot. She was so proud of herself too, as though she knew she was hurting me.”
“Well, you always bare your heart for all to see. You mustn’t listen to her, no matter what she said. This marriage will be good, however it started. She is envious that you have what she so badly wants, and in spite of what the ton thinks you did not need to use any schemes to achieve it. You need not give her another thought.”
Emma nodded, but she couldn’t bring herself to agree. The truth was that Gretchen had picked her apart completely, and made her feel like the most disgusting wretch. She was not worthy of being the Duchess of Lupton, but she would have to take the title. There was nothing that she could do to change that.