Page 22

CHAPTER 22

Zeb

I run my hands through my hair, relishing in the steam of the shower.

I barely register the door opening, but I don’t think much of it.

Having to share a bathroom sucks in general, but I’m sure there are plenty of Gravedigger fans who would pay good money to share a bathroom with the hottest man on the planet.

I note his silhouette in front of the sink, and I think he must be “putting his face on” as he calls it.

I swear, he’s got more makeup and hair products than Katy and all her girlfriends combined.

I just toss some fucking gel in my hair and call it a day, but Geo’s got serums.

Whatever the fuck that is.

I close my eyes, letting the water run over me, and then the shower curtain opens.

His dark eyes implore me, and my gaze travels down his tattoo to realize.

.

.

he’s completely naked.

And I finally see the end of his tattoo.

Just above his fucking dick.

My breath catches in my throat as he steps into the shower, his dark gaze confident as hell.

Anyone who says this man isn’t sexy has to be fucking blind.

“What are you doing?” I ask, a smile forming on my lips.

“I just figured we both need to shower, and this will save a lot of time.” He grins as I set my fingers on his hip.

“Show me yours,” he says seductively, reaching for my shampoo.

“Oh, is that what we’re doing?” I ask, running my hands through his hair, working up a lather.

He lets me tilt his head back, and the sight of the water and soap running down his pale skin, down the line work of his cross tattoo, is a fucking sight.

“That is absolutely what we’re doing,” he confirms as he leans up and kisses me.

“Please.”

This fucking man.

I shift in the small shower, turning around and showing him my ass.

His fingers graze over the outline of the tail.

“ Hellbound ,” he says softly, his fingers hot against my flesh.

They slide over my hip once more, and he pulls me back against him.

His cock throbs against me, his hands sliding across my barely-there four pack, fingers splayed as the slip through my coarse hair.

“My favorite,” he breathes, his lips warm against my skin.

We kiss and touch until the shower runs cold.

Geo heads for his guestroom, towel around his waist, and I don’t hesitate to follow as we laugh, tease, and sing along to my blaring blue tooth speaker, like fucking teenagers.

And when we crash onto his bed, tangled limbs and cocks, and hungry lips, I think there’s nothing more perfect than this.

Than feeling his heartbeat beneath my palm, his precum painting wet trails against my stomach.

His fingers gripping my chest hair or grazing my thick facial hair while we kiss like they do in the movies.

I can’t keep my hands off of him, and he doesn’t seem to mind one fucking bit.

Because he can’t keep his hands off me, either.

I make him come twice before we leave, only relenting when neither of us can ignore our growling stomachs or the inevitable traffic if we leave too late.

We barely make it out of the house on time, too caught up in one another to remember a world outside us exists.

I watch him in my truck, singing along to Taking Back Sunday’s Make Damn Sure.

His dark hair blowing in the window, his glasses catching a glare.

He sings, tapping along the rhythm against the side of my car door.

I can’t resist singing along with him.

I can’t resist him.

We pull into the parking lot of a place I don’t recognize for lunch, but the place looks interesting enough, and we’re both starving.

I open his door and he jumps down, sliding his hands in his blue jean pockets.

His pale skin doesn’t look so pale anymore, and I can see the faint beginnings of a tan.

He catches me staring, looking at me over his glasses.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I reply.

“Just appreciating the view.”

Geo rolls his eyes as we head for a table, but stops when someone screams his name.

I watch his face fall, and he turns.

A woman with an excited expression stands with a group of friends, all of them with their phones ready.

“Oh my God, it is him! It’s Gravedigger !”

Geo flashes me a pained expression.

“Can we please get a picture?” one friend asks while the other waves a sharpie.

“Ohhh, can you sign my boob? Pretty please?”

Geo bites his lip, nodding.

“Yeah, of course.”

I watch as his entire demeanor changes.

He takes off his glasses, handing them to me, runs a hand through his hair, shakes his head, and his spine straightens.

He extends his arms, the muscles fully on display and the girls curl into him easily as he strikes a pose.

He smiles, shaking their hands, signing their tits, and I’m reminded just who he actually is.

He’s a famous rockstar who’s performing in just a couple days.

And then he’s going to leave.

My stomach feels sick because I don’t want him to leave.

Not again.

I want him to stay.

Here, with me.

I shove the pain down, because I know if I let it, it will consume me.

What are you doing, Zeb?

“Sorry about that,” he says, putting his glasses back on.

“Mateo said Hailee booked a private tour, so we won’t have to worry about... that on the hike.”

I nod, my mouth going dry.

“Of course.”

Geo talks animatedly about his friends as we wait for our food, about the new songs he’s working on, even though he doesn’t have an album put together yet.

He’s waiting to see how the tour does, if the label will greenlight a new album.

And the whole time, all I can think about is that history is repeating itself.

Just like Katy warned me it would.

“You okay? You seem kinda quiet,” he says as he throws down his credit card.

“I told you I was buying,” I say.

Geo dismisses me with a wave.

“I am not letting you get away with paying for my ass this entire week, Zeb. Seriously. Let me buy you a fucking meal.”

His words shouldn’t piss me off, but they do.

Or maybe I’m just pissed because I let myself fall.

I let myself fall into Geo’s open grave, and now I’m buried six feet under.

Fuck.

“Fine,” I snap.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks.

He signs the receipt, sliding his card back in his wallet.

“Peachy,” I mutter as I try to shove down the demons threatening to bleed onto everything.

Geo raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t push.

He checks his phone.

“Mateo said they just got there. They’ll wait for us.”

“How nice of them,” I gripe, forcing a smile.

I turn the music up, but Geo doesn’t sing.

He just watches out the window as the landscape blurs.

The beginning notes of Dashboard Confessional’s Stolen graces the air as we pull into the private parking lot Mateo sent directions for.

Geo climbs out of the car before I can open the door.

And then I see them.

The Starr’s and the Wylde’s.

Mage Of Mercy and two halves of Heart Killer .

“Hey G!” Hailee squeals as she runs up to hug him.

Richie slaps him on the back.

Dare grabs his shoulders.

But Mateo is looking right at me like a fucking asshole.

Geo turns, motioning for me to come over, and it takes everything in me to force the smile, because I feel like I’m falling apart.

I feel like we’re going to fall apart.

“Hi! I’m Dare!” Dare chirps with the enthusiasm of a monkey on cocaine.

“Nice to meet you, Dare.” I respond, trying to be polite.

“This is my boyfriend, Matty?—”

Mateo roves his gaze over me.

“It’s Mateo,” he says cooly.

Mateo is tall, dark, and commanding.

His aura is off putting.

It’s not warm and friendly like Dare or Hailee.

It’s serious, like he’s a CIA agent or something.

Hailee, who is much prettier in person than she is in photos, rolls her eyes, pulling me in for a hug that I can barely respond to before Geo tugs at my hand.

“Don’t mind him, he’s harmless,” she whispers in my ear.

“This is Zebulon, my—” His voice trails off, and when he looks at me I die a hundred deaths.

“Friend,” I say, my heart breaking on the word.

Because that’s what we are, right?

We were friends, once.

Then he left.

Then he came back, and we were friends, but we are also.

.

.

more.

But I also know that this thing between us isn’t clearly defined, and I haven’t wanted to push it because I don’t want to push him into something he isn’t ready for.

But not being able to call him my fucking boyfriend is a new sort of pain I never thought I would experience.

It dredges up all my fucking insecurities, all my demons.

Because that’s all I can be, right?

A friend?

Because he’s Gravedigger.

He’s a two-time grammy winner who tours the world and writes sexy songs, and reaps my fucking soul from a world away.

He’s a rockstar, and he’s going to leave.

He’s going to leave me again.

I don’t miss the way the sparkle in his eyes dims.

Because of me.

I am the worst boyfriend-not boyfriend ever.

Mateo extends his hand.

“It’s always a pleasure to meet someone Geo holds in such high regard.”

His grip on my hand is like a vice.

I squeeze back, using my own strength.

“Who did you say you were again?” I bite.

Dare chuckles.

“I like this demographic.”

“What?” I ask, dropping my hand as Geo pushes me away, his cheeks scarlet.

“Okay, that’s enough meet and greets for the day,” he says and his friends laugh.

Am I supposed to know what that means?

Great, now I’m out of my fucking element even more.

Thankfully, the hike takes most of our concentration.

Geo’s arm brushes mine, warm and sweaty, but he doesn’t say anything.

When we finally get to the spot we’ve been hiking over an hour for, Dare drops, groaning about how hot it is, and how hungry he is.

I watch as Mateo finds his way over to his boyfriend, pulling out some snacks and drinks, and I can feel Geo’s gaze burning a hole in my back.

“What’s your problem?” he asks, his tone bitter.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I retort as I slide my hands in my pockets.

I know we’re all a bit tired, sweaty.

“You’ve been a dick ever since lunch. Did I say something, do something?”

I let out a breath, feeling like even more of an asshole.

“Is it because I wouldn’t let you buy lunch, because?—”

“No,” I interject.

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?” I snap.

“Like someone I don’t know.”

I look at him, arms crossed over his chest.

“I just don’t think your friends like me very much,” I reply, noting the way Mateo is watching us.

“Especially Mateo.”

Jealousy prickles all over me, and I can’t help it.

He’s pretty high profile, and he’s been linked to some very high profile dudes, including that actor that just won Sexiest Man Alive or something.

He’s a fucking rockstar and he’s been texting for days, and he and Geo are close.

And now he’s ten feet away, watching us.

Watching him.

“I think he likes you,” I mutter, looking away.

Geo’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Are you fucking serious? He has a boyfriend!” I don’t miss the surprise in his voice.

I shrug, watching as Mateo turns to his boyfriend.

“Dude’s been staring at you all fucking afternoon, G. And he’s been texting you all week.”

I watch Geo’s eyebrows narrow.

He looks pissed.

“Are you fucking blind? He’s had his tongue down Dare’s throat for the last five minutes.” He scoffs.

“And he’s my friend .” He crosses his arms, the motion drawing attention to the definition of his muscles, the pronounced veins.

His dark eyes burn.

“And, you know, my friend who I was really excited to bring on this fucking double triple fucking date bullshit today is being a dick. So yeah, I’m sure he’s judging the fuck out of you right now. I am, too.”

“Geo...” I suck in a breath, feeling like the world around me is actually disintegrating.

Mateo makes his way over to us, Dare still parked on the ground.

“Everything okay?” Mateo asks.

Geo glares at me.

“Peachy.”

“We’re ready to head back if you are,” Mateo says.

Geo grins, but it’s not genuine.

“Yeah, sure.”

Geo says nothing to me the entire hike back to the parking lot.

Instead, he sidles up next to Mateo and Dare.

Which only pisses me off more, and when we get to the parking lot, I make a beeline for my truck.

He walks past me, toward the large black SUV Mateo is standing in front of.

“Hey, where are you going?” I call.

Geo turns to look at me with eyes of fury as he piles into the car next to Dare.

“Out with my actual friends. ”

So this is how I die a second time.