Page 20

CHAPTER 20

Zeb

I toss my keys on the counter as Geo brings in the last of my equipment.

I can’t stop thinking about his words this morning, our damn near breathless makeout, coupled with his meltdown in my car.

Just this morning, he’d touched me, kissed me and told me he’d lived most of his life being told what he felt was wrong, or that he shouldn’t feel it.

And because of everything he’d been through, he felt immense guilt over his feelings, and as such, exploring those feelings came at a cost for him.

But as I watch him plop down on my couch, grabbing for my acoustic, I can’t help but see the strength in him he doesn’t see in himself.

It takes a brave person to put their feelings first.

To choose differently.

I can’t help but think about my own defectiveness, and at that moment, I feel like I need to tell him the truth.

I take a seat next to him as he strums absentmindedly.

“I’m defective, too, you know,” I say casually.

Geo looks at me from beneath his thick glasses.

“Somehow, I doubt that. But I appreciate you trying to make me feel better.”

I shake my head.

“I lost my virginity when I was fifteen.”

His expression pales.

“I was dealing with my feelings the only way I knew how. Getting drunk and doing shit I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Is that something you regret?” he asks.

I shrug.

“Not the initial moment. I learned pretty quickly what guys liked, and I thought if I could just do that... if I could just be good enough, that maybe one of them would actually want me. ”

I shake my head.

“But they didn’t. Some came back, but, they didn’t want anything other than sex, and I remember thinking, ‘at least I’m good at that’.” I scoff.

“And despite the fact I take care of myself, have a pretty good music career, and I’m clean as a damn whistle, I can’t even keep a guy around for breakfast anymore. So, believe me when I tell you, you’re not alone. We’re all fucked up in our way, you know?”

Geo shifts closer to me as he strums away.

“What... what’s it like?” he asks quietly.

I lean back on the couch, settling into the cushions.

“What’s what like?” I ask.

Geo licks his lips.

“Sex. With... a guy, I mean. Does it hurt?” His dark eyes glisten, and I don’t miss the way his fingers deftly strum away at the chords.

“Depends if you’re the top or the bottom.” I smirk.

Geo looks at me from beneath his thick frames, his lashes standing out against his pale skin.

“So... which are you?” he asks quietly, and I can’t help my grin.

“Bottom.”

Geo’s cheeks flush.

“Oh.”

“And to answer your question, no. I mean, it hurts a little bit, but it’s not a bad hurt. Unless I’m not prepped enough, of course, but...” I shrug.

“Can I ask you a very personal question?” I say.

Geo nods.

“Depends on what it is,” he says carefully.

“Did you ever want to? Have sex, I mean. With any of your girlfriends?”

He stops playing, twisting his lips, and for a moment I think he’s not going to answer me, but then he does.

“Not really. I was kinda burned on the whole fucking around thing after Tiffany.”

I raise my eyebrow.

I remember Geo dating a girl when I first met Katy.

She was around for a couple dinners, but then she disappeared.

“What happened with Tiffany?” I ask.

“She was really, really pushy. She made me feel like I needed to give her something . She told me she needed to “connect” with me physically so we could be a better couple.

So, I let her talk me into sucking my dick, and it was kind of the worst experience ever.

”

I raise my eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

Geo nods.

“Told you, defective.”

He sets the guitar down on the ground.

Then he shifts his position on the couch, putting us closer together.

He catches my gaze.

“Sounds like she just wasn’t very good at it.” I smirk.

“Yeah, and on top of the teeth and the attitude, I couldn’t... you know, and she kinda took it personally and broke up with me after that.”

“Ouch.” I rest my hand on his leg.

He shifts, leaning against the back of the couch.

“I pretty much just kind of put a lock on it after that. I didn’t want to deal with the guilt or the shame that came with that more than once.”

“It didn’t feel right,” I say, squeezing his thigh.

Geo casts me a soft smirk.

“No, it didn’t.” He slides his hand over my hip, and I let him pull me in.

His dark gaze searches mine.

“Just for the record, I don’t think you’re defective,” he says.

“I think those assholes just didn’t deserve you.”

“Probably not, but I didn’t think I deserved them, either,” I admit.

“You deserve so much more,” he says, and the weight of his words are heavy in the air as I settle between his legs.

The motion makes the cushions dip from our combined weight.

I don’t miss the heat of his palm against the sliver of skin that is exposed from beneath my shirt and pants.

“So do you,” I say as I lean forward, pushing him back against the arm of the couch.

I slide my hand through his hair, watching the color shift in his eyes from gold to copper.

“I can stop, if you want me to,” I say as I lean in.

His gaze falls to my lips, his fingers digging into my hip.

“I just... need you to know that we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” I assure him, though I’m not sure if I say the words for his sake, or for my own.

I just know that I want him, more than I’ve wanted anyone, and I don’t want to fuck this up.

There is a heavy silence as he shifts his position, sinking back as he brings his legs up on both sides of my body, forcing me to fall further between his legs.

His cock twitches against my stomach and he gazes down at me.

“That’s the thing that’s scary,” he says, chewing his bottom lip.

His gaze darkens.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

I slide my hand beneath his shirt, feeling his warm skin, those pronounced hip bones that cut below his waistband.

I run my fingers over the outline of his cross slowly, relishing in the way my touch makes him catch his breath.

“I don’t want you to ever stop,” he says.

His left hand finds my hair, and his fingers intertwine in my locks and he pushes just the slightest against my head, his cock twitching against me.

His breath is shaky and for a moment, I think he’s going to wake up and realize what’s happening.

That he’s going to freak out and leave me here, hard and wanting again.

“Tell me what you want from me,” I say softly.

Geo’s fingers grip my hair tightly.

“Everything,” he says.

I hook my fingers into the side of his shorts, tugging at them as his fiery gaze settles on me.

“Everything, huh?” I breathe, pulling down his shorts until they are around his ankles.

I look up at him: his pupils blown, teeth sunk into his lower lip, skin flushed, long lashes standing out beneath his glasses.

I settle my hand over his prominent bulge, noting he fills up my hand pretty well.

I grip him softly, if only because I want to ease him into my touch.

I want to take my time, because I want this to be good for him.

I want the experience to feel right .

He sucks in a breath as my thumb presses against the head of his cock through his boxer briefs and he curses breathlessly.

So fucking perfect.

I want everything, too.

Everything he is willing to give me.

I’ve never felt like this about anyone else.

Just him.

And I think it will always be him.

“Are you okay?” I ask, lazily tracing lines against his cockhead.

“Yes,” he says, blowing out a breath.

“I just need?—”

“A minute?” I ask, a smirk forming on my face.

He shakes his head.

“No. More. I need... more.”

He tightens his grip in my hair, pushing me once more, this time with a little more force, but it isn’t startling or uncomfortable.

His fingers tremble in my hair slightly, and I know what he needs.

I hook my fingers into the waistband of his briefs and pull them down slowly, watching his expression as I do so.

His amber eyes are like a five alarm fire, ravaging my soul.

I shift my focus, taking in the sight of his bare cock on display before me.

It falls back against his stomach, pink and swollen with irrefutable desire, his precum glistening in the light that pours through the windows.

Just like the rest of him, it’s absolutely perfect.

“Tell me what you need, sunshine,” I say as I slide my hand along his shaft, committing the velveteen hardness to memory.

I hold him in my fist, but I don’t move, giving him a chance to answer me.

“I—” His cheeks flush, and he focuses his gaze on me.

For a moment, I think he’s going to tell me to stop, but instead he licks his perfect mouth and says, “I want you to make me come.”

My own cock weeps at his words, and I let out a curse of my own under my breath.

I build a steady rhythm with my fist, slowly and leisurely.

I watch as every pump, every swipe of my thumb across his wet slit makes his face contort into an expression of pure desire.

“Does that feel good?” I ask, feeling his cock twitch in my hands.

Geo nods furiously.

“Fuck, yes.”

I grin, because I know what’s coming, but he doesn’t.

His fingers tighten their grip in my hair.

I love how responsive he is to just my fucking touch.

I swipe my tongue along his shaft, and he nearly jumps off the couch.

“Too much?” I ask.

His grip in my hair tightens like a vice.

“No. Not enough,” he says, his voice all tight and raspy.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” I croon as I give him another lick.

The salty sweetness of him dissolves on my tongue, and I do it again, expecting a reaction, but he doesn’t jump this time.

Instead, he relaxes, thrusting his cock up against my tongue.

I know what he wants, but I want him to say it.

I want him to own his pleasure.

“And don’t be polite about it, either,” I tease.

His gaze catches mine, full of fire and heat.

“I want you to stop teasing me and put my cock in your mouth and make me fucking come.” He blows out a breath, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“Please,” he says, flashing me with a smirk, a glimmer of that sweetness dancing in his eyes, and I don’t waste a second.

I take him into my mouth, into the back of my throat in one fell swoop, and he grips my hair so tight, I think I’m going to have a tension headache for a week.

“Oh my God.” His voice strains as he thrusts himself into my mouth.

I’ll show you God, Geo Graves.

I roll my tongue around his head, cupping his balls with my free hand, letting my fingers tease and massage them.

“Oh fuck,” he curses as I lave at the saltiness of his precum.

“I’m coming,” he cries, with more cursing like a damn sailor.

“Fuck, I’m coming!” His voice rises as he holds my head with a vice-like grip as he fills my mouth.

I look up at him, seeing the absolute bliss all over his face.

I take my time leaving his cock, swallowing him down.

When I move to wipe my mouth, Geo only pulls me closer, crushing his mouth against mine.

His rough, hungry kiss makes my cock throb, and when he slides his tongue in my mouth, groaning, I think there is no going back from this.

His hands settle at my waistband as he kisses me messily, his hand finding my aching cock.

“What about you?” he asks, his voice thick with lust.

“Don’t worry about me.” I press my lips to his.

“I want to make you feel like... this...” He sighs against me.

“Like what?” I ask, slowly grinding my cock against his palm.

“Like Heaven,” he says, and I think I’m well beyond the point of salvation.

I’m no longer hell bound.

I’ve set up a fucking villa in Hell.

I gaze into his eyes, and the spark in my chest becomes a wildfire.

“You already do, Geo,” I reply as I kiss him slowly once more, savoring the feel of his perfect lips.

“You are Heaven Sent .”