Page 9 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

“It is, but I’ve made peace with it. Adorie is straight.” She shrugged.

A brief silence filled the walk, before she spoke.

“Since I just poured my lil’ heart out to you for the second time since we’ve met. Tell me about you. Tell me about Cartrek. I mean that is why you asked me to take a walk with you, right?”

I chuckled. “What you wan’ know?”

“What you wanna tell me?”

“Ain’t shit to tell. I’m a boring, complicated nigga. My main focus is retiring in my youth rather than dying in it. And naw, Peach, I said come take a walk with me because I wanna get to know you.” What the fuck?

“A boring complicated nigga. That’s a contradiction in itself.”

“Yeah, but it’s the truth. Mostly stay to myself and make money. I’on like none of that extra shit that folks be on.”

“I feel that more than you’ll ever know.”

We reached the Italian ice shop seconds later.

We made minimal small talk in line, then ordered our shit.

Of course I covered it, then instead of sitting in the crowded shop we walked through the park across the street.

Just like that night at the club, I got so caught up in talking to her that I lost track of time.

I got too lost in her presence, yet another reason I needed to be leaving her ass alone.

She wasn’t one of those females I’d fuck with just to get my dick wet, she was more and had the potential to be some niggas world.

Type of female that deserved the world, and for some nigga to give it to her.

The more I talked to her the clearer it became that I needed to go about mine, because I wasn’t in a headspace for change for no female or to give anybody my all.

Last bitch I gave my all to was building a case on my ass.

“Do you feel underserving of love, Cartrek?”

“Nah. I just ain’t got time for it. It ain’t about deserving it or any of that shit. It’s about having the time and energy to invest in a motherfucker. Only to be betrayed.”

“So, you feel like love and betrayal correlate to one another?”

“They run pretty damn close right? Where I’m from niggas die over love. I almost found myself in a fucking cage behind love.”

“Does the woman you’re thinking about remind you of Mia?”

“How do you know I’m thinking about a woman?” I asked staring at the good doctor for an answer.

“Are you not? Correct me if I’m wrong.”

I blinked a few times mentally attempting to pinpoint similarities of Mia and Virtue. “How would I know? Mia played a role, presenting me with what she knew I was attracted to. Mia was a plant.”

Dr. West nodded. “Off the role Mia played. Are there any similarities.

“No. Peach has these honest eyes. Type of shits that tell you everything about her. She got this way of being an open book without even trying.”

She nodded. “But Mia didn’t?”

“Nope. Now that I think about it Mia’s purpose in my life was to make me chase her. To create this gray area in my life so that she could pull me off my square and catch me.”

“But she didn’t. Mia isn’t here, but you allow her to haunt your decisions. To make it hard for you to let others in.”

I nodded, hearing what she was saying but my mind was made up. Though I wanted to I wasn’t fucking with shorty like that. I couldn’t .

My session with the good doctor didn’t last that long.

It probably did, but we talked enough that I didn’t even know where time went.

After I left the session, I ended up at a restaurant near the crib picking up takeout.

A nigga was starving and the only thing I’d eaten today was that fucking Italian ice with Peach earlier.

Speaking of the fucking devil, my eyes landed on her as she exited the restaurant next door holding a brown bag and her phone in her face. I swear her ass got finer every single time I laid eyes on her. Simply fucking beautiful.

“Yo, you stalking me or sum?” I asked.

Within seconds she looked up, and we locked eyes. “No. People get hungry, don’t they?”

I nodded, not knowing what else to say. Thing is I wanted to say something else. I wanted to be all in her space at this point after telling myself it wasn’t gonna be like that hours earlier.

“Where you going after you leave here?” I don’t know what the fuck I was doing, but it was something like a magnetic pull going on.

“My folks house. My mama refuses to give me my child, so I’m ju?—”

“Finna come chill with me, right?”

“Hmmm, you sure ‘bout that, Cartrek?”

“Yeah, and we gonna work on you and governments.” Nigga was probably forward as fuck, but oh well. She had one of those addicting personalities. Type to make a nigga wanna bathe in her presence and shit.

I had her follow me to my crib, and park in my driveway, which only took about twenty-five minutes. I lived all the way out of the way. I hoped to God she ain’t think she was leaving tonight, cause it was too fucking late for any motion.

We sat at the island talking and chilling while we ate, before migrating to the sectional that overtook my living room.

Before I knew it, I lit up and we sat there passing the blunt back and forth a few times kicking shit.

Talking and joking like homies and shit rather than her being a female I wanted to fuck.

Don’t get me wrong I damn sure wanted to fuck, hell the steel in my joggers made that evident but the air was different.

“Do you always invite women back to your place and share your weed or is this…” her sentence led off because she probably saw my expression.

“New. I’on kick it with bit—females like that unless I know what’s up.” I had never been the type of nigga to lie, so I wouldn’t start now. However it was becoming increasingly hard to stay on this end of the couch rather than in her space.

“Hmph and what about me because I’m su?—"

I licked my lips looking her over before my eyes connected with hers. “You grown, and though I know I ain’t bring you here for that, I’ma follow yo’ lead.”

She smiled nervously, before shaking her head. “Then my lead should be me going home, before it takes us somewhere else.” Within seconds she was on her feet.

I chuckled before standing up as well. “Nah baby girl, you’re high as hell and it’s late as fuck. Type of man would I be to let you out there like that.”

She looked at me for a few seconds before nodding her head. “Even though I’m not judgmentally impaired, I get you.”

“You can even sleep in my bed, and I’ll take the couch.” At this point I didn’t even recognize myself.

“Nonsense. I’m sure we can responsibly share a bed.” She had a smile in her eyes that didn’t extend to those thick ass lips of hers until moments after. “I need a show?—”

“I got you.” I led her down the hall to my bedroom and grabbed her one of my shirts and a pair of draws, before handing them to her.

While she showered, I took care of the few dishes we used and tidied everything up. I wasn’t a neat freak or anything like that, but I didn’t really like things out of place. That’s why me and Cartier couldn’t share a space because the nigga loved to make a fucking mess.

I ended up taking a shower in the guest bedroom that had no bed. I purposely never put a bed in there because I didn’t like company and there was no fucking need for it. I met her in my room a few minutes later rolling my underwear up on her small ass waist.

“That shower was heavenly. Did you have that specifically installed or did it come with the place?”

“Came with it. I wanted one of those showers that came from the ceiling, but I haven’t done much customization since I closed.” Something always felt like it was missing, of course I didn’t tell her that much.

“I can’t wait until I buy my first house, customize it for my baby and I. Probably get a scruffy lil’ dog and all of that cute stuff. Maybe even a cat, you know.” She pulled back the comforter of my bed, climbing in.

I shook my head. “I can’t stand cats, lil’ motherfuckers are evil. You better off getting a dog, but not one of those lil’ yappy shits.”

I flipped the light switch and made my way to the bed. This was bound to be one difficult ass sleep because there was no way I’d be able to sleep next to her and not touch her. Motherfuckers was finna miss all type of sleep off this.

“Why is it so cold in here?”

“Cause I like it cold. I sleep better. What, you want me to go change the furnace.” I was about to get up, but she stopped me.

“No, you don’t have to do all of that to accommodate me. I’ll just use your body heat.” Within seconds she had kind of intertwined her body with mine. “You don’t mind, do you.” Her head was up and peering down at me while her chin slightly touched my chest.

My arm rested on her backside, before I said fuck it and leaned my head down kissing her lips.

I had been wanting to do that shit all night.

She didn’t pull back, or any of that. Instead she melted into my embrace, sucking on my bottom lip.

She didn’t expect to be pulled on top of me, but there was no thought in any of this, just action.

Her grinding against me let me know what time we were on.

I gripped her sides just knowing this was about to one of those nights.

I enjoyed the feel of her thick ass thighs on both sides of my body and hated to break it up but I had to run in the other room to grab a condom.

Once I escaped her body, I ran to do just that, coming back to her lying in the middle of my bed comfortable and inviting me to test that shit out as well.

Something about the olive sheets under her frame popped out.

Had my mouth water and dick hard as a fucking jaw breaker.

If I didn’t watch myself I was gonna fuck up with this one.

She sat up and looked at me, probably wondering why I was looking at her the way I was. I couldn’t help it, her ass was simply ravishing in my bed.