Page 2 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

She nodded. “And what do you feel like you learned?”

“Feelings, love and all that other shit all seems to end one way. I’m not trying to feel or be felt, I’m tryna touch as much paper as possible and stay in my fucking lane.”

“Was that really a lesson though?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Probably not for you, but damn sure for me.”

I went back and forth with the doctor for a while longer before it was time for me to leave.

I was meeting Linny and my brother at some lil’ bar and grill.

Of course the nigga Linny chose a public place because he owed me a lot of fucking money.

Being that I was a businessman, I was up to hearing him out.

I mean I couldn’t kill that nigga, especially if I wanted my money. Dead men didn’t pay their debts.

When I arrived at the bar, I parked my car and got out, meeting my brother at the entrance.

I’d told him I had it but let him tell it my anger would have me behind bars.

He was probably right, especially since the good doc couldn’t cure a nigga.

I had been in therapy for about two years, something about needing to work on my anger and get my head together.

I only stayed because I saw the changes in my anger, and most of the shit she said made sense.

Plus to keep it a buck I fucked with the idea of paying somebody to listen to me talk, and it not leaving that space.

For obvious reasons I didn’t tell the good doc everything, but it worked.

“Thought I told you I had this?”

“I never said you didn’t. You’ve always got things big bro, but your temper is what takes things further.” He gave me a knowing look.

I chuckled, entering the spot. It wasn’t like I was gonna beat this nigga over the back with a chair in here. Upon entry we were immediately seated. Then as if he had been watching the door, Linny approached our table a few seconds later.

“You like the place? It has nice food, and it’s a goldmine,” he stammered, before taking a seat in the chair furthest from both of us.

“Okay and, what the fuck you bring us here for?”

He was about to speak, but his attention caught somebody behind our table.

Before I could turn around and see what, she was standing before us.

The beauty from the café earlier. I can’t even lie, this female was gorgeous, standing at about five feet two inches, clothes that snugly hugged her figure and those fucking lips. Lord, those fucking lips.

“Good afternoon gentlemen, your server will be with you momentarily. Can I get you both started off with something to drink?”

Neither myself nor my brother had the chance to respond before Linny spoke.

“Sis, this is Trek and Cartier. I brought them here because remember I asked you for a favor?”

The beauty looked skeptically at Linny. “You never told me what the favor was, because I never asked.” Her expression transformed within seconds.

Though her eyes looked pissed and lips were tight it didn’t take away from anything about her.

She had these big brown eyes, protected by thin lids, and naturally curled lashes.

I could tell those were her shits because they didn’t look like they were about to fly away and kidnap her eyes.

Speaking of her eyes, they were a chocolate hue with what looked like specks of honey to compliment her warm complected skin.

Linny’s annoying ass voice interrupted my mental noting of his sister.

“It’s small. I did the math and I need you to fork over about 30 percent of your profits to them so that it’ll pay off my debt within the next six wee?—”

The shit spewing off his tongue had even my ass floored.

“You are out of your monkey ass mind if you think I was gonna say yes to that. Me nor my business have nothing to do with whatever the fuck you owe these niggas. As a matter of fuckin?—”

He grabbed her arm forcefully, with desperation in his eyes. “Virtue, I need you. If you don’t help me?—”

“I said hell no. You’re tryna take food out of my child’s mouth just so you can…” her sentence trailed off as she shook her head. It was as if she realized she was in a space full of people and calmed herself down.

She then looked at us, before her eyes landed back on her brother.

“I don’t know what this nigga has told you, but my business has nothing to do with any of his dealings.

Now if that’s what you were here for, have a nice rest of your day.

If not, I’ll have someone come take your drink order.

” Without another word, she cut her eyes in Linny’s direction before turning to walk away.

“I’ll take whatever you’re about to go to your office and take a shot of.” Leave it to Cartier to speak when it wasn’t a speaking moment.

She didn’t respond, or even acknowledge what Cartier said.

She was pissed, and I didn’t blame her, but I didn’t know her, so it wasn’t my problem.

What I did know was that Linny still owed me.

So, my eyes landed right back on his scandalous ass.

Though on my mama I wanted to know what was up with her fine thick ass. Her and that peach .

Virtue

I could’ve stole off Linny out there, but I kept my cool.

I held my composure for the most part, but I swear I didn’t know why I even let him around.

Not only was he always borrowing money, but always in need.

My brother and I didn’t grow up in the same house, because we had different father’s, and my mother was a drifter.

She drifted to whomever was taking care of her at that time.

My father took me from her, shit didn’t even let me visit her as a child because it was that bad.

His wife, Amelia, was the closest thing I had to a mother, because Eva was no such.

Eva was for self. For a while we had no contact, but about a year ago they started reaching out to me.

I was skeptical at first, and for good reason.

But this shit right here was a different ballpark…

I mean had this nigga really just tried to use my business to pay his debt.

The better question is why he believed that it would fly.

I’m not his mother, which meant I wouldn’t be sinking myself to keep him alive.

If he couldn’t stay away from gambling houses, that was on him.

Eva could barely take care of herself because she was piddled with carrying this fool.

Not to mention she still hadn’t grown the fuck up, still calling me with the same I’m your mother kick. She hadn’t been my mother in years.

I sat at my desk for a while longer keeping my temper at bay before I was back on my feet again. I was about to go work the table when my door was opened and Linny was stepping through it.

He had this expression on his face that let me know he was about to beg. The same expression that let me know he didn’t think what he did was wrong.

“I really nee?—”

“No, what you need is to get out. I should’ve known you’d do something like this.”

“Look, I’m desperate. Mama can’t take out any more loans on the house and they will kill me.”

“No. Now leave.”

“What do you mean? I’m your blood brother and you can’t help me out?

” He was pissed off like he had a right to be when he didn’t.

He didn’t have a right to feel shit, especially when he just ambushed me thinking he could force my hand in front of those niggas.

“I bet if I was that nigga Fari you’d help. ”

I laughed. “I damn sure would because he wouldn’t be putting me nor my child in anything like this.

But you, I met you less than a year ago and here you are.

You’ve graduated from asking me for two hundred dollars here and there to the profit from my business to pay your debt.

Does something with that equation sound off to you or am I the crazy one here? ”

“No but I..” he started.

“No, I don’t want to hear it anymore. Please leave and don’t come back.” I held my hand up, over whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

He looked me over before he defeatedly walked out of my office. He wasn’t done with this, I knew that for sure.

A few minutes after he left I found myself still standing in the same place irritated about the whole thing.

I wish I could be one of those people who didn’t care about much, but I couldn’t, I cared about everything.

Unlike most I carried things too deeply for way too damn long.

Carrying shit always ended me in foul spaces, because anger always introduced itself to the mix.

That’s where my temper always showed up, too many feelings in one body and mind caused that type of shit.

Before coming into the city I told my father I’d watch my temper and especially watch out, but this shit was pushing it.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I dialed my older brother.

He and I shared the same father, but Amelia was his mother.

In so many words my father was with Amelia, then he got with my mother, before doubling back and ultimately ending up with Amelia.

Tafari and I were close, as opposed to Linny. Fari lived closer to our parents, which sometimes made me want to move home, but I liked it here. I liked the hustle and bustle.

“Yeah, baby girl?” he answered on the first ring.

“Needed to hear your voice. I got frustrated about something.”

“Bout what?”

“Linny shit. He cornered me in front of these niggas who he owes money to and tried to tell me he needed me to give them a percentage of my business income because he owed them and they’d ki?—”

“What the fuck? You for real?” I could hear his expression through the phone. He already didn’t like Linny, so this probably made it worse. “Did any of those niggas say anything to you?”

“No, it was all him. I handled it, but I hate that for some reason him and Eva think me being here is for their use.”

“Cut they asses off. Matter of fact I’ll handle it.”

“No, I got it, Fari.”