Page 27 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

Now that made me laugh. “Yeah, and now look at you stabbed by a ho who just couldn’t let go.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.”

“I'm serious, but I saw that post on her story about getting jumped. Something tells me you had something to do with that, huh?” I peered at him.

He laughed before throwing his hands up like he was waving a white flag. “I mean, I was there I watched that shit, but I ain't tell bitches to put their hands on her. Shit just came together on its own.”

I nodded.

“Now, are you ready for me to let this lady back in here so we can tell her yes? Or are you gonna change your mind?” He made it seem like it was my idea to tell the lady who was selling us the condo to get out.

He knew it was him because he got annoyed with her constant questions about his income and my income.

“You're the one that put her out in the first place asshole.”

“Bitch was too fucking nosy.” Seconds later he went for the door, to I guess let her in. “We're ready. You can come back in. We want it.”

Of course it took a minute for everything to get done, but once it was finished he and I were free to go. We'd move in sometime next week, but for now I was just hungry and tired.

“You trying to get back to the house right now?” he asked as soon as we were in the car again. “Cause we got somewhere to be.”

“Where? I thou?—"

“You said you missed your girl, so I got you.”

“Now you’re setting up playdates and shit for your girl. Awh shit, I’m good as long as there is food.” I smiled widely, which made him laugh.

“Greedy ass.”

“Blame yo’ child.”

“Now you about to be out here blaming my baby when you just greedy as fuck and my baby just so happens to be along for the ride.”

“Yeah right, that’s what you say.” I rested back in the seat while of course he drove toward our destination.

“When is our next appointment?” he asked out of the blue.

“Friday, remember?”

He nodded his head. “I knew it was one of these days. Is it the one when we confirm sex or no?”

“No, Cartier it isn’t. We got a few months for that, I think. Why?”

“I been kicking around names and shit, ready to meet my lil’ one.” His hand went to my stomach while he drove.

“Me too.” My hand covered his and all I could think about was what would soon be our reality. The crazy thing is I didn’t know if I should have been reading parenting magazines or what. Besides having moments of being completely petrified, I also had bursts of excitement filled moments.

Virtue

Jovie looked happy. I loved that for her. I loved that she was being loved the way she deserved, finally. Most of all I loved that Cartier was who she needed him to be, through and through. I needed that for her, because after her grandfather died I was scared for her.

“Not that this nigga set me up on a playdate in the poolhall.” She remarked sipping from the can ginger ale.

I laughed. “At least you knew about it. I wasn’t aware at all until Cartrek told me that you said he’s been hogging me.”

“Hell he has. Nigga doesn’t realize that you were mine before you were his.”

I giggled. “He told me about that too.”

“I bet. How are you though? You happy?” She scooted to the end of the couch I was on and leaned my way so only she and I could hear our conversation.

“I’m really happy…with him.”

“Meaning? And when you say with him what do you mean? Dumb it down for a sista.”

I cackled looking up from my drink in his direction. It just so happens he was looking directly at me. “I like it, and him.”

“Good bu?—”

“Nope, stop picking me and tell me about you.”

She smiled shyly. “Well you know what I’m up to. Pregnant, lowkey in love with my baby daddy, moving again and being borderline stalked by family that I’ve never fucked with like that.”

“Lowkey in love. Did I hear that right?”

“After everything I just said that’s truly what you heard?”

“No, but that’s what I decided to respond to first.” I giggled. “So spill.”

“Yeah man, I love that ole’ unhinged ass nigga. But don’t say anything because we haven’t exchanged those types of words yet.” The entire time she spoke she smiled.

“I get that. It’s just so funny because remember all that shit you used to talk? You know about how you couldn’t go there with him, but after everything he’s your one.”

She nodded. “Today we toured a condo in the loop, and I swear that all I could think about. I made a million excuses holding up my own process only to be literally floating on a freaking cloud with this man on a daily.”

I shook my head.

“Curse me for standing in the way of my own happiness.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” I nodded agreeing whole heartedly with her. It was something about just letting go and being happy. Releasing doubts and just deciding to be. With Cartrek that’s what I felt like it took. I had to become comfortable with not knowing everything, but just being… with him.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing.

When I glanced down, I noticed that the call was coming from a number that I didn’t recognize.

I didn’t answer calls that I didn’t know, because half of the time they were scam calls.

If it was an important call, it would’ve had a caller ID and not a wonky area code.

By the time I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, I felt his body near mine. Though he was just across the room, I could feel him move.

“You good?” I knew I was right when not only did I smell him, but I also felt his presence. It was heavy, not in a bad way but in one of those ways that made the connection stronger than anything. I probably sounded crazy, but that was the best I could explain it.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I glanced up and my eyes caught his. Concern was etched in his handsome features, it had been for a few days now. I didn’t know what was going on, but it was something, I could feel it.

His hand touched the side of my neck, resting around the back of it before he leaned over pressing his lips to my temple.

“What did you do to my brother, Peach? Niggas can’t even focus on a conversation without migrating over to you.”

I laughed. “You tell me.” My eyes never left Cartrek’s, because we had that unspoken eye thing as well as this down ass connection going on right now.

“She ain’t did shit to me.” His mug transformed into a smirk before he finally broke our eye contact and looked toward his brother.

“Shidd. You a witch or something, Peach? Wiggling yo’ nose in the shadows like old girl from Bewitched ,” Cartier asked making both myself and Jovie laugh while Trek flipped him off. Then like the fool he was, he started attempting to wiggle his nose.

“What, I’m dead ass just asking.”

“I bet you were.” I waved his foolishness off, before my focus went back to Cartrek.

He was here physically, but not here. He was thinking a lot…

about what, I wasn’t sure. Then every time he’d distract me by starting a whole other conversation about something different or initiating physical contact.

“ I’m good, Peach, now come up outta these,” he’d say.

Though the night was still young it was time to turn in.

Cartier and Jovie cut out as soon as she started yawning and rubbing on her pudge.

Then when Cartrek started touching all over me, pulling me in his lap I knew he was ready to go.

Right when he and I were about to cut out, Cruz was also leaving with a blonde.

“Isn’t he married?” I asked Cartrek when we were settled into the car.

He nodded. “According to the state, and on paper but him and her been on their own shit for years.”

“Oh, why doesn’t he just divorce her?”

“Too much drama and they got lil’ ones. Who wants to put them through that?”

I nodded my head, understanding. “I guess, but if I was unhappy I wouldn’t stick around and make somebody else unhappy.”

“Probably not, but every female ain’t you, Peach. You’re secure in you. Even though you ain’t going nowhere, you ‘on’t need me for shit for real, for real.”

“Oh, so she’s holding him hostage.”

He laughed. “Pretty much.”

I got it and understood completely what he was saying, but it didn’t mean it was something I resonated with.

His hand found mine in the middle of the console before he lifted it up bringing it to his lips.

“And no, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I didn’t ask you if you were. I know yeen going nowhere.” He said that with more confidence than anything.

“Tell me something.”

“Anything, what’s up?” I felt his eyes momentarily, before they settled back on the road.

“What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

“What do yo?—”

“The truth.”

“I ain’t never told you a lie,” he countered defensively.

“I know, but what are you not telling me? Checking in almost every hour. Not that I don’t like talking to you, but I know you’re a busy man.

Random drives to your house for routine changes.

Concern etched in your fea—” I was prepared to list more instances that I’d paid attention to.

I was fine with not knowing everything, but I needed to know some things.

“Aylo’s brother Alias is who shot Fari. Fari killed Alias recently. I don’t wan?—”

“The man hanging from the light pole on the news.”

“Yeah, look I try to protect you from it all. You and Dorie. It’s street shit.”

“Thank you.”

I could tell he was shocked at me saying thank you. He probably expected me to want him to go further into detail, but I didn’t.

“I’m not asking you to tell me everything, but I’m asking you to tell me about the things that have you staring into thin air when we’re eating dinner.

The things that worry you.” I meant that.

I could do without the street details, though I wasn’t naive enough to believe my brother or my man were saints.

They were street niggas, and I accepted that.

Before another word could escape my lips he had pulled the car over and unbuckled my seatbelt. Not even a second later he’d pulled me into his lap, bringing us face to face. Then like magnets our lips collided acting as suction cups.

Cartrek