Page 14 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

Chapter Five

Virtue

My eyes scanned the playground, as I watched Adorie running about with the other kids.

I always wanted the best for my baby and my goal was to give her that.

I’d die making sure my daughter never wanted for nor needed for anything.

The one thing I couldn’t give her was him.

I couldn’t give her what I had, because I wasn’t willing to be stupid for a nigga who not only played me but expected me to be stupid.

I hated that she didn’t have a father, but there wasn’t much I could do about it, except being prepared to have that conversation in a few years. It was what it was.

“Mommy look.” She yelled for me to watch her go down the slide.

I smirked, watching her slide down then clap for herself. She was a true diva. “Good job baby girl.” Of course I cheered because that’s what you were supposed to do as a parent.

I glanced down at my watch taking note of the time. I’d told myself that I was gonna give her thirty minutes out here, but then thirty minutes easily became an hour. Now I was cutting it close on getting her in the house, starting dinner and being able to go over my quarterly reports.

The ringing of my phone broke up those thoughts instantly. When I saw Eva’s name cross the screen I immediately rolled my eyes to the ceiling. The only reason she called was for one of two reasons. Shit, some of the time she called for both.

I didn’t want to answer, but I did and immediately I regretted it.

“They turned the lights off, baby. I don’t know how I’m gonna get the money to pay it, because I was so far behind. Can you?—”

“Dang, good afternoon to you, too, Eva. I’m fine as well,” I responded as if she had asked.

She sucked her teeth. “That’s good to hear. I really need you right now, baby girl. I know we have our differences but if my lights stay off, they’re gonna put me out.”

I glanced at the park making sure to lay eyes on my child before I looked around hoping she thought I hung up because I wasn’t speaking. This was that bullshit that made me send her phone calls to voicemail.

“Do you hear me, Vee?”

Of course I rolled my eyes. “How much?”

“A little over seven hundred, they put all those late fees and stu?—”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I know it’s a lot, but as soon as I get it I’ll pay it back to you. I just need to get myself together.” That fast she’d forgotten that she said the money was for the damn light bill.

“So, the money is for you to get yourself together?” My eyes followed Adorie around the park up.

“Well half of it is. I jus?—”

“I don’t have it.”

She sucked her teeth again. “I know you do. I said I’d pay you back.” At this point she was frustrated, I could hear it through the phone.

“And how do you know that?”

“Becaus—look I wouldn’t even be calling you if I didn’t really need it. You only get one mama, Virtue. Can you help yours out?” And there she was with the manipulative shit.

“And there you go. Goodbye Eva.” I hung up before she could get another word in. The one thing I didn’t have was time for was bullshit…her bullshit.

Right when I was about to drop my phone in my purse I had yet another incoming call. Good I looked at the caller ID because I was about to ignore her ass. She wouldn’t get me on the line twice.

Seeing that it was Aylo requesting to FaceTime I answered.

He and I had been talking back and forth since our breakfast date a few weeks ago.

He was cool, funny and didn’t seem so hard up for pussy.

Maybe because he had a lot of it around him on a silver platter.

He owned a strip club, not to mention his phone rang our entire meal.

Of course he wasn’t disrespectful enough to answer it, but yeah.

I knew he had bitches, shit all of these niggas did.

Who was I to think or believe any different?

He wasn’t screwing me, so he was messing with somebody, right?

“Hey,” I answered, looking at him briefly then back up at Adorie now on the monkey bars.

“Yeen hit me up last night when you got in.”

“My bad. I was exhausted, hell barely standing. After I picked baby girl up, I got in and passed out.” I shook my head thinking about how badly my inventory beat me last night.

He nodded. “I figured. Let a nigga know next time though. Send a bird call or somethin’.”

Laughter escaped my lips while I watched Adorie walk toward me. “I got you.”

“Good. You finna let me take you out this weekend or I gotta show up at yo’ joint and order err’thing on the menu then force you to come eat it with me.”

“Honestly both of those sound like a win for me, but what did you have in mind?”

“Saturday around seven. A movie and dinner. You said you like simple shit, right?” There he was being persistent like he said he’d be.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then cool. I gotta take care of something right quick, so I’ll hit you back in a few.”

I nodded just as my baby approached. He hung up seconds later.

“Mama, I hungry.” She was scratching the top of her head looking just like Fari with the expression she gave me. Somehow my baby was my brother and my father’s twin. She didn’t look shit like her own father, and I was glad for that.

“I know.” I gave her a knowing smile before standing to my feet.

As if on cue my phone rang once again in my hand when I was about to toss it in my purse.

This time I had received a text message and it was from Trek.

The only nigga at this moment that I allowed to touch me, but I told myself I couldn’t expect anything extra.

Sex and a little bit of conversation was cool with me especially because he was the type to go missing for days.

Maybe not missing, but he’d go about his business for days and pop back up like he never left.

At first I felt slighted, but I got over it.

Shit I had to, because it was just sex…great sex.

On the walk home I decided to check my messages to see what see what Cartrek was talking about.

He has to be the most guarded nigga I knew.

When he was at my house he was just there.

He wasn’t big on talking himself, but he’d listen to me giving minimal responses.

He had this way of just being present when he was around.

I tried not to read too much into that, so I entertained Aylo.

Since that first day he had popped up at my house at least four other times, having dinner with Adorie and I then spending the night.

Of course he made sure to be gone when I woke up but messaged me telling me he’d get up with me a little later. He never did.

Cartrek: I’m on my way over. I got us somethin’ to eat.

Cartrek: You home?

Me: I’m walking toward the house . About to walk in the building rn.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and proceeded in. Like always I let Adorie press the button as we awaited the elevator. It took a minute, but once it got to the lobby we stepped on. Of course she pressed our floor, while I stood back watching the numbers change as we went up.

“Where do you see yourself in about five years?” his voice was cool and crisp as we sat in the empty suite that he’d rented for our dinner. He was a thoughtful human.

“Five years. Specific huh?” I sipped from the wine glass in my hand.

He nodded. “What, did you want a nigga to say fifteen years? Shit, I’ll be out of my prime.”

I giggled. “No but that was random. Anyway I just wanna be comfortable. Giving my daughter the life she deserves and happy. Not too much, right?”

“Not too much at all. You see yourself letting a nigga be that happiness?” He sat back and looked at me for my answer.

“I don’t know. It depends. I’m not into the idea of allowing a man to be all of my happiness, especially when he’d have the power to strip me of that.”

He nodded. “Well some of it.”

I smiled. “Maybe.”

“I know that Ace nigga still tryna be in the picture, and none of me is mad ‘bout that right now, but the more serious we get the less I’ma tolerate it. I’m a selfish nigga, Vee.” That fast his sentence went serious, and he was giving me the most serious expression he could muster.

I swallowed hard and nodded my head. “And when you say serious, what exactly does that mean? For you of course?”

He chortled showing those perfect ass teeth. “Means when I’m putting all my energy into you, I want all of your energy on me. Serious.”

“Good to know, but until then we’re dating and you’re free to put all your energy into to all of those you’ve been putting it into?”

Laughter escaped his lips. “We’ll see.”

The rest of the night went on, and we continued to enjoy our night void of any Ace or Mafia talk.

The ding of the elevator interrupted my flashback of my date last week with Aylo.

I blinked a few times, before my eyes landed on the opening gold doors.

Adorie was the first to step off, then myself.

When I did step off, I smelled him. Something about Cartrek’s cologne was so potent that it filled spaces leaving anyone smelling it with the desire to follow the scent.

Then when I turned the corner, there he was standing at my door with food cartons inside of white bags with the words THANKYOU printed more times than necessary.

Though he went missing more than a feral cat, he sure knew how to show up and have me knowing I’d veer from my plans.

Not only had he brought dinner, but he brought dick.

What a beautiful night tonight would be.

As soon as Adorie spotted Cartrek, she yelled his name rushing his legs like she had known this nigga her whole life. For some reason that was comical to me because she was such a fickle child.

I reached the door to my apartment a few seconds after she reached him. Once I had it unlocked, I stood back allowing him to walk in first and her little happy ass to follow. He set the food on the counter, while she ran to her bedroom. I already know she was running her ass in there to her iPad.