Page 45 of FWB

The Letter

D ear Kenny,

I have been awake all night thinking about everything you told me this evening. I’ve been trying hard to work through the multitude of emotions going through my mind right now. Heartbreak, anger, shock, sadness. You name it and I’ve probably felt it at some point.

Heartbreak, because the moment the word “daughter” left your mouth, it felt like my soul left my body.

I literally felt my heart drop to my stomach.

I felt sick. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that’s what you were going to tell me.

I saw the future I envisioned for us crumble before my eyes.

Anger, because you didn’t tell me about this sooner. I’m angry you thought you had to hide this from me for so long. I’m upset I missed out on so many memories with you, all because you were too stubborn to open up to me.

Shock at everything you’ve had to go through alone between dealing with Jazmine and figuring out life as a new dad.

I keep picturing how scared you must have been to get that call during the holiday party.

I wish I could go back in time and just hold you.

I’m shocked that anyone could carry a baby nearly to term and then try to get rid of it last minute; like it’s something you can return with a receipt if unused. It’s disgusting.

I’m sad. I’m sad that you felt I wouldn’t accept this new normal in your life. I’m sad you didn’t realize how totally and completely in love with you I am, and believed something like this would scare me away. I’m sad you think you have to do this thing called life alone.

But most of all, I feel an overwhelming sensation of love for you.

I love you, Kenny. I think I have since the first time I saw you in the elevator on my first day of work.

I love everything about you, even your mumbling!

So let me love you. Let me love both of you, Lilii included.

She’s your life now, but you don’t have to raise her on your own.

I can’t promise I’ll be the best female figure, but I’ll be damned if I don’t give it my all.

Just give me a chance. I’m offering myself to you, totally and completely, Kenny.

Will you accept me, totally and completely, into your heart?

If so, meet me Friday night, 6 p.m. at our normal spot in room 208. I’ll be waiting.

All my love,

Tiegan.