Page 78 of Full Out Fiend

He doesn’t say anything for a beat. But tension coils between us as realization sinks in.

Maybe this really is the first time he’s put two and two together. He went into concerned dad/future doctor mode at the appointment today, which is admirable. But now that the truth I’ve been bitterly trying to process all afternoon is sinking in for him too…

His fingers find my jaw, startling me, and turn my head. He assesses me with a sharp, searing glare. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him look this serious before.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I’m sorry. I know it sucks, but you heard what the doctor said. We can’t—”

He cuts me off before I can explain my thinking.

“You’re right. I heard her, and I took notes, and then I came home and did some research. We have to avoid some things, but none of that matters to me. You. You and our daughter and your health. That’s what matters. You have to know that—right?”

He’s on his feet a moment later, pacing the room like an animal being taunted in a cage.

“There’s no fucking way you’re sleeping in this room. No one said there were rules against holding my girlfriend while she sleeps.”

Oh.

Oh.

My cheeks heat with embarrassment. He’s not upset about not getting any for the next few months. He’s angry because he thinks I’m shutting him out.

I mentally backtrack. I assumed he wouldn’t want to be intimate if he wasn’t getting it in. But Fielding has always made me and my pleasure his highest priorities when it’s come down to it. Why would this be different?

It’s a rhetorical question. But that little voice of self-doubt in the back of my mind is more than happy to remind me that under different circumstances, with a different person, my assumptions would have been spot-on.

I lift my head and meet his gaze, waiting for him to still. “I don’tnotwant to sleep with you, but you know us,” I defend with a pointed look. “What if we get carried away?”

His answering smirk would be condescending if it wasn’t so damn cute.

“Angel, I slept with my rock-hard dick in my hand for weeks before we defined things. And as much as I’m a hoe for your pretty pussy, not even that could make me put our child at risk. Please come sleep with me.”

I don’t know whether to laugh at him calling himself a hoe, or to cry because he’s too damn perfect. So I let out a mix between a scoff and a defeated whimper. He drops to his knees in front of me and wraps me up in a hug.

“Please?” he whispers into my hair.

How could I fathom that things between us would change because of what we’re facing?

“If you’re sure,” I hedge.

“Damn sure,” he declares as he rises to his feet and gently pulls me up to stand. “Get your sexy off-limits ass across that hall and in my bed right now, woman.”

Chapter 42

Fielding

Ididn’tbotherclosingthe blinds. There’s a full moon peeking out behind the clouds, and I love the way she looks in the moonlight.

She’s been asleep for hours, aside from the every-other-hour trips to the bathroom she practically sleeps through. I haven’t closed my eyes once.

I’m tired, and it’s been a fucking day. But between seeing my daughter on the ultrasound screen and doing a deep-dive into placenta previa and all the possible outcomes, my brain’s working overtime tonight. I don’t stand a chance against my pharmacology exam in the morning.

But none of that matters now.

The only thing that does—the singular purpose of my existence these days, it seems—is her.

Taking care of her. Supporting her. Making sure she feels good, knows she’s safe, and knows how much she’s wanted. That’s the endgame here.