Page 34 of Full Out Fiend

I scrape my forearm against the brick wall, seeking her out. She startles when I hook my pinkie with hers—but she lets me hold on. We stand together, barely touching, our backs against the wall as the world spins around us.

No one else on the planet knows what this feels like. No one else but her.

“Say something,” she whispers, her words warming my insides and doling out comfort I don’t deserve.

“I’d be a shitty dad.” I clear my throat after the confession. It’s probably not what she wants to hear. But it’s my truth. “I’m not mature or wise like my brother. I don’t have my life figured out. He’d be so much better at this than me…”

Silence falls between us, but she inches closer. My gut tells me it’s the right move, so I risk it: I grasp for more of her hand and hold it completely in my own.

She turns her head and meets my gaze, the weight of the situation sinking in as the sorrow, sadness, and regret I sensed in her starts to make sense.

She offers me a sad smile, and I can’t help but turn to her and cup her face with my free hand. “It’s okay,” I assure her. “It’s going to be okay.”

An eerie sense of calm washes over me as I stare into her eyes. I don’t need to ask. I already know. Something in my gut—instinct, intuition, whatever it’s called—is sure that she’s carryingmychild.

But logic dictates that I clarify.

“Is it mine?”

I watch her swallow, then look past my shoulder as she answers.

“I—I think so. The timing makes sense. I went off birth control last year to try to lose weight for the wedding…”

Fury surges through me—why the fuck would she think she needed to lose weight?

“Anthony and I always used condoms anyway. I’m almost positive he and I weren’t even together between my last period and… that night.”

She looks at me then, searching my face for a reaction, I assume.

“The timing makes sense. And now that I know the condom broke…”

“Fuck. Daphne. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

She leans her head against my shoulder, and I pull her a little closer.

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s no one’s fault. But it happened. And now I have to deal with the consequences.”

“We,” I correct her automatically. “Wewill deal with the consequences.”

“Fielding… I’m… I didn’t tell you to trap you.”

Her voice is filled with pain. Pain and worry. A hollow loneliness. An edge of uncertainty. I ache to hold her but restrain myself from wrapping her in a hug. We need to make a plan before I can give in to the urge to take care of her.

“Tell me what you want to do, angel. Do you need money? If you want to have an abortion, I’ll pay…”

She laughs a sad, muffled cry that echoes through the alley.

“We were together four weeks ago. I’m already six weeks pregnant.”

My eyes widen in horror. I know enough from my pre-med classes to know that a woman is usually four or five weeks pregnant by the time she misses her period and finds out she’s pregnant. If she’s already six weeks… Ohio passed a heartbeat bill a few years ago when Roe v. Wade was overturned, so an abortion is out of the question. At least in this state.

“If that’s what you want to do, Daphne, I’ll make it happen. We’ll go out of state. I’ll do the research, arrange the travel plans. Anything you want or need…”

“It’s okay. I want to keep it.”

I suck in a sharp breath but stop myself from outwardly reacting in any other way. It’s her body. It’s her choice.

“I—I don’t have a logical explanation, exactly, but I always worried I’d have a hard time getting pregnant. And as shocked and dazed as I’ve felt the last few weeks, I already feel connected to this baby.”