Page 11 of From Ice to Home (The Heart of a Ranger #1)

LUCAS

SIX DAYS LATER

“ W hat’s going on with you, South?” Declan Murphy tosses my way, his Boston accent heavy as he starts to take off his jersey and gear. “Have you heard a word I just said?”

I haven’t.

Truth be told, I barely know what time it is. The only thing I know is that it’s been six days and eighteen hours since I’ve last seen Hannah Sanders. My wife.

I guess technically, it’s Hannah Walker then. Kill me now. Even thinking those words has chills running up and down my spine.

“I’m sure if it was important, I would’ve heard it,” I mumble, my eyes locked on my phone as I’m scrolling through Hannah’s social media page for what feels like the thousandth time.

She seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.

She’s stopped posting on all her pages. Not only that, she keeps leaving me on ‘read’ no matter the message I send, all my calls are sent to voicemail and three days ago I was informed her inbox is full.

I don’t know what I suspected. The empty bed the next morning was a clear indication that she wasn’t just going to change her status to ‘married to a New York Ranger’ and then happily embrace her new role as hockey wife.

No, when the woman you haven’t seen in five years leaves you alone in a hotel room after you’ve spent the night together—after you got married—it’s not a good thing.

Declan tosses a bottle of water at me and I look up just in time to catch it. “I’ll just tell Coach that you’re volunteering me to take the opening face-off tomorrow,” he says, smirking, showcasing his slightly crooked front tooth.

“Wait, what?” I sit up, locking my screen and shoving my phone in the bag at my feet.

We’re just about done with our post practice routine and half the guys are already showered and heading back to the hotel.

As usual, Murphy stayed on the ice until the zamboni driver chased him off.

Somehow it’s become a thing, and now whenever practice ends, he wants to be the last one to leave the ice.

Tomorrow is our fourth game against the Maple Leafs, and we’ll barely have time to catch our breath before heading back to New York. Maybe I could use the travel days to go find Hannah—that’s if I knew where she was.

I’m sure Coach won’t allow me to fly across the country on a wild goose chase.

I still haven’t told him what happened, and I’m kind of hoping that I don’t have to.

Not until I’ve spoken to Hannah. I don’t want to get the PR team involved before sorting things out with her first. This whole thing is a nightmare.

Why didn’t I just take a second to think everything through?

“Man, what’s up with you?” EJ gives me a slap on the back as he comes up from behind, done with his shower and ready to pack up his gear.

He’s my wingman, on and off the ice. He always knows my next move even before I do—definitely something that developed from hours together on the ice and has now bled into our friendship as well.

Maybe if we all stayed together like we were supposed to, he would’ve stopped me before I made the choice to marry Hannah.

“You’ve been off since Vegas,” he says, cracking open his Gatorade. “And don’t think we didn’t notice you vanishing for a while. We had to cover for you. What happened back there?”

I run my hands through my hair, my jaw tight.

I’ve been extremely lucky that no one has caught wind of what happened in Vegas.

By the grace of God, there weren’t any fans with any camera phones nearby.

Perhaps it helped that no one suspected the New York Rangers to spend a few days in Vegas mid-playoffs.

It was the perfect ploy to get some much needed privacy and a break from all the training this season.

But now I also find myself wishing somebody knew something, because I swear with each passing day, I’m wondering if it even happened. Or it was all some bizarre dream I had.

No, it couldn’t have been.

The bed smelled like her.

And I’ve got the ring to prove it. It’s now safely hanging from the chain around my neck, tucked against my chest.

“I don’t know what to tell you man, I just need some rest,” I mutter. “It’s been a long season.”

“Uh-huh,” Declan says, grabbing his towel and slinging it over his shoulder. “We’re all tired. But this, this is something else. I ain’t buying it.”

EJ nods in agreement, the scar above his eyes twitching with his frown. “You don’t have to spill it, but it’s written on your face. You’ve checked out. Whatever it is, it’s all you’re thinking about.”

I grit my teeth, feeling the truth of their words. The team depends on me to set the pace, to push through even when the season is wearing us down. And here I am, distracted by the woman I never thought I’d see again—much less marry.

Declan leans in, his eyes sharp. “You know that if one of us is off, we all feel it. So whatever it is, you’ve got to handle it.”

“I know, I know,” I say more to myself than to them. I look down at my forearm, where the tattoo I got when I first joined the Rangers is now looking back up at me.

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.’

Right now, I don’t have much of a choice but to trust Him. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about any of this. I can’t lean on my own understanding because I don’t understand anything about what happened.

EJ and Declan exchange a look, the kind that makes my chest tighten.

“So what’s it going to be, Lucas?” EJ asks, folding his arms. “If you’re honest, maybe we can help.”

I didn’t really expect to share the news with my teammates this way.

Then again, I didn’t think I’d ever be in a situation like this.

But until I can get Hannah to talk to me, I have no idea how to handle this.

I haven’t really prayed about it either, I haven’t told my family about any of it.

I’ve been mulling over our decision this entire week, wondering how I got to this point.

My elbows dig into my knees, my hands dangling loosely between my legs as I test the weight of the truth.

“I’m married,” I mutter the words, heavy and awkward, followed by an incredulous laugh. It’s the first time I said it out loud and it sounds ridiculous. “I’m married. I got married in Vegas last week,” I say again, this time louder while I look up into the faces of my two best mates.

“Holy—“ Declan’s jaw drops, the humor instantly vanishing from his face.

EJ stares at me, wide-eyed before finally speaking. “What? How?” He looks between me and Declan before adding, “I thought we decided to stay dry? ”

A part of me wishes there was more alcohol involved. That way, I could blame my impulsiveness on something other than…my lack of judgment and plain idiocy.

“There was no alcohol involved,” I say, hand in the air with my fingers crossed. “Just a lot of old memories I guess, and left over feelings from way before.”

“Hannah,” Declan says, his green eyes flashing with understanding. “You married Hannah.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Suddenly feeling the need to move, I get up and walk toward my cubby, ruffling around in it for no apparent reason.

“I didn’t expect to see her. Sure, I keep up with her life.

Not in a weird stalker way, but I know that she's doing good. I mean how can I not? She’s the first girl I ever…

” I trail off, unwilling to go any deeper.

“I don’t know. Ever thought of for more than a day. ”

EJ whistles from behind me, a low disbelieving sound. “The one who got away, huh?”

She’s the last person I suspected to see in Nevada.

Of all places. Duke University is on the other side of the country.

I know she’s been keeping busy and doing well for herself.

How could I not check in from time to time…

it’s hard to forget the first girl who made you go weak in the knees.

I follow her on social media, and I’m not going to lie that seeing a post every now and again brings a smile to my face.

She’s the first girl I ever fell in love with.

She obviously didn’t think too much of what we had, because she got in her little blue Honda and left Georgetown as soon as we tossed our graduation caps in the air.

I’ve always played hockey and it was no secret that I had a shot at making pro.

Back then I thought we’d figure it out, whether it’s her moving with me, or me staying with her.

I was more than willing to build a life with her no matter which way it would go.

Even if it meant staying in Georgetown, working on the family farm and living the small town life with her .

But she wanted more.

Or at least, she didn’t want me.

I stayed in Georgetown through high school, driving all over the state for games, trying to get noticed.

By the time I turned eighteen, I had a decision to make.

Stay in town and settle, or take the shot everyone told me I had.

When Hannah left, that decision was made for me.

I packed my bags and moved to play hockey.

A year later, the Rangers picked me up in the draft, and I signed my contract, knowing Georgetown was in the rearview mirror. It wasn’t home, but if she wasn’t sticking around, I needed something worth chasing.

But every year during my break, I’m back in Georgetown. Painfully aware of the fact that Hannah isn’t.

She never goes home.

“I guess you can say that,” I mutter, dragging a hand through my hair.

My eyes land on my cubby, its contents disorganized—just like my head right now.

I shove my gear aside, the tape tumbling to the floor.

“And now she got away again.” I grip the edge of the cubby, my knuckles white as frustration coils in my chest. “I don’t know why I didn’t just…

I don’t know. Handle this better. I should’ve known she’d run. ”