Page 10 of From Ice to Home (The Heart of a Ranger #1)

I take a deep breath, knowing that my little sister is putting me on the spot in a way that neither of my parents have in the past two days I’ve been home.

I keep stirring the extra sugar into my coffee, gearing myself to turn around and face her.

When I do, her eyes are curious and sharp, and way too observant for someone her age.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Es.

” Defensiveness and guilt bubbles up inside of me at my sister’s insistence of me sharing something private.

I take a sip of my now too sweet coffee and look both of them in the eye.

“I never came home before, because I was busy in Durham. I had things I wanted to achieve, a life I wanted to build on my own. That’s why I never came here for more than a few days. That’s not a crime, is it?”

“So then, why now?” Essie asks.

The look on my mom’s face says more than I’d like and she turns away busying herself with the bread that’s ready to come out of the oven.

For a moment I’m thankful that my mother isn’t joining the bulldozer that is my little sister.

Even though I know that our family needs someone like Essie, I’m not enjoying this feature of her personality right now.

Especially when it’s being directed at me.

“Like I said, I’ve stayed away long enough.” I take another sip of my coffee, unable to fully enjoy the unique taste it has when my mom makes it. “Maybe I missed getting the third degree from my little sister?” I add playfully, not able to give her more.

Essie narrows her eyes for a moment before looking away, shaking her head with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“You’re planning on staying a whole month right? Until camp ends?” she asks, needing me to make some sort of commitment to her even after I made one to our dad. “You’re not going to flake out after a few days giving us some nonsense about another once in a lifetime opportunity or internship?”

I give her a soft smile, knowing that beneath all that tenacity there’s a little sister who just loves having her entire family together.

“I’m here, little one,” I say simply. “My new job in Durham doesn’t start until next month, and Dad’s counting on me.”

She nods, satisfied for now before grabbing her phone off the counter which just vibrated with an incoming message. “And mom’s our witness. Right, mom?”

I glance at my mom, who looks momentarily concerned, but she quickly masks it with a reassuring smile. “I’m the witness, yes. But Essie, your sister has her reasons for coming home, and however her plans work out, we need to respect that.”

“Sure,” she says, looking down at her phone, already disengaged now that she got what she wanted. “As long as she doesn’t make other plans, because she’s already made this one.”

My stomach tightens at her words. Yes, I made a commitment to my dad, and I plan on keeping it. But there’s no way of knowing how things will play out now that I have a secret husband somewhere in the country.

“Micah needs another pillow,” Essie says, turning toward mom. “Can I just get one from his room?”

“Yes,” my mom sighs with relief. “You go get that and we’ll start loading the car.” She gives Essie a small smile as she runs upstairs leaving the two of us alone in the kitchen.

I take another sip of coffee, needing the caffeine to keep up with all the lies I’m telling my family.

“Hannah—“

“Is Micah already at the campsite?” I ask, my voice sounding disingenuous even to my own ears. I really just want to change the topic and not talk about it again. It’s just easier than having to lie and come up with half-truths. “He’ll be sleeping over there this year, right?”

“Yes,” my mom answers, attempting to hide her disappointment with a smile.

She turns to stack a few trays with brownies and cinnamon rolls.

“Your dad’s got them in tents for the first week, and then they’re moving into the cabins for the remaining three weeks.

Dad took Zach and Micah over this morning, so we’ll just meet them there. ”

I shove the guilt down, and focus on being here instead.

It’s the best I can do right now. These past two days at home have been wonderful.

Having breakfast together around one big table has always filled my heart.

Even Niel came home for a few days, since he’s hiding a little secret of his own from mom and dad.

It definitely lightened the load on me…a little.

His secret is something I know my parents would be thrilled about, whereas mine is completely different.

Mona and Liz have been my family in Durham, and I’m grateful to have them by my side. But it’s different being around those who grew up right alongside you.

My phone vibrates in my back pocket. I’ve had it on silent, knowing my parents would want to know why it’s been ringing so much.

Fully expecting it to be Lucas again, I pull it out, ready to decline the call.

Instead of Lucas’s name, the screen is lit up with a picture of Liz.

A small sense of relief fills me. I still have to explain to them what happened, and I’d rather do that sooner than later.

I don’t want them to worry about anything.

“I’m taking these to the car,” I say, grabbing the first tray of brownies.

My mom nods without another glance and I head out the kitchen, my excuse in hand. When I reach the porch, I answer the phone.

“Finally,” Liz sighs with relief. “I was two seconds away from filing a missing persons report. If it wasn’t for google location, I’d be more upset right now. But now I’m wondering if you were kidnapped by that New York Ranger of yours?”

The mention of Lucas has the butterflies in my stomach stirring up again.

“I’m so sorry I just bailed,” I start. “I had some things to deal with, so I’m in Georgetown. I was supposed to fly back to Durham to deal with all the paperwork for my new job, but I’ll just do that from here.”

“Are you serious?” she asks. “I thought ‘family emergency’ was code for something else. I don’t know…maybe you and Lucas Walker—“

“No, nothing like that,” I cut her off, not wanting to go down that road at all.

Except, it’s exactly like that. The memories of our night together are already so fresh in my mind, I don’t need a reminder at all.

“I had a few things I had to deal with,” I add, my voice softer now. “Plus, I told my dad I’d help out at camp this summer too. I needed the reset. That’s all.”

Liz is quiet on the other side and I can practically hear the look on her face.

“Hannah, you know denial is loud,” she says. “So, I’m writing this one up, just know that. We need details.”

“And why didn’t you ever tell us you knew someone famous ?” Mona yells in the background. “He’s gorge, baby!”

I can’t help but laugh, my heart skipping a beat thinking about Lucas and the way his dark eyes can hold me captive.

“Not now, but I will tell you all about it…later.” I know I’ll have to tell them the truth at some point, but I’m definitely not going to dive into it now while I’m basking in the uncertainty and guilt of my life decisions.

“I’m going to hold you to it,” Liz says, her tone softening. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“I know, Liz. Thank you.” Essie comes through the porch door, holding two pillows and an expectant look on her face. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“New York Rangers!” Mona shouts again.

“Come back soon, she’s driving me insane.” Liz ends the call, cutting off another yelled sentence from Mona.

“Are you ready?” Essie asks, her eyes wide and filled with excitement.

I take a deep breath, feeling the morning air, the familiar scent of fresh-baked brownies, and the warmth of being home, truly home, after so long. If being here and at Camp won’t bring me closer to answers, closer to God again, I don’t know what will.

I smile. “I sure am.”