Page 69 of Forgive Me, Father

I felt a presence, probably Nico, and pulled myself back to reality.I froze when I found Camilla.She sat there, wrapped in a blanket, her posture still and composed as if she were painting.Her presence was a quiet storm, a force that pulled at every part of me.The contrast between her fragile appearance and the fierce energy beneath the surface was something I couldn’t ignore.

The softness of the blanket only emphasized the tension in her shoulders, the distance in her eyes as they met mine without warmth.

She had been right yesterday when she said her mother had trained her well.I could feel the weight of that truth now, heavy between us.I knew exactly what she would say, how she would turn away, how she would bury the hurt beneath the surface, all because of our arrangement.

But deep down, I felt the brutal reality settle in.I had lost her.

Our bond, whatever it had been, was shattered beyond repair.The truth gnawed at me, sharp and unforgiving: I would never get her back.Our relationship, what we had, what we could have had, was gone, and there was no coming back from that.

And that fucking killed me.

“I get it,” she said.

“No, you don’t.”

“I told you my mother groomed me well.”She swallowed hard.I knew she didn’t want to look the other way.Because I wouldn’t.I knew whatever we felt was real.It was passionate, but it wouldn’t be for long.My demons were going to pull us apart.

“What do you need from me inside the dungeon?”

THE LITTLE RUNAWAY

All the color drained from Alfonso’s face, leaving him as pale as a ghost.He looked almost fragile.

“Excuse me?”he finally managed to ask, his voice laced with confusion.

I softened my tone, but the question still lingered in the air, heavy and undeniable.“What do you need from me inside the dungeon?”

He shook his head, as if trying to find some kind of clarity.“I don’t think you understand, Camilla.”His words trailed off, and I could feel the tension building between us, thick and suffocating.

“What?You fucking kill them, Alfonso?”

“No, fuck.”

“Then why can’t you use me?”

“Because it’s sadistic shit.It’s extreme, it’s a bloody mess sometimes.It would break us apart, not put us back together.”

I swallowed hard.

“I will not break you like that,” he spoke softly.

“I won’t look the other way, either,” I said, my voice steady, but carrying a weight that hung in the air between us.“So, we both have a problem.And we need to find a solution.”

He looked at me, his face a mask of pure distress, as if the walls around him were closing in.The turmoil in his eyes was unmistakable, a mix of frustration and helplessness.

“I’m willing to try; introduce me to it, and I’ll tell you when I can’t do this.”

“Camilla.”His voice was merely a whisper as I tried to get up and go to my room.I felt sick just thinking about half the shit he told me yesterday that happened in his dungeon, in all the similar fuck houses across the world.

“It’s okay.You didn’t ask for this.”I bent down and kissed him on top of his head.

Last night, when he pinned me to the bed and told me in detail about his need, it broke me.Not because I knew he wasn’t a saint, but because I knew he had demons that needed a different type of outlet.I thought that I was enough.

I decided to give him the space to process everything I’d just laid out for him.Hopefully, by tonight, he would have a clearer answer, something concrete to guide us forward.

I tried to sleep, to relax to not think.But I failed.

I tried to imagine what ways Alfonso would use to hurt me sexually, and feared if I would be able to handle it