Page 110 of Forbidden Billionaires, Vol. 9

Sunday

I sat down in the back room of the ice cream shop and pulled out my phone.

It was hard to get out of bed in the morning.

It felt like I was back at school, moping around.

But I knew I had to fight the feeling. I couldn't get sucked back into that hole again.

And if I thought once more about that blonde slut falling asleep in J.J. 's arms, I'd lose it.

To J.J.’s credit, he did stop by the ice cream shop on Friday. And he hadn’t asked for free ice cream or anything. He just asked if I wanted to hang out. I’d told him I had plans with Kristen. Which was true…dinner with Kristen was one of my favorite things.

Regardless, I was pretty sure he was growing very suspicious that Kristen didn’t exist. But I didn’t care.

I wasn’t sure if I knew how to be just his friend, so I had to keep turning him down.

It was the only thing I could do to keep my heart intact.

How was I supposed to hang out with him for hours as friends when all I wanted to do was reenact our kiss?

Or the way he touched me in the sand? It wasn’t possible.

There was no way to go back to being platonic.

I looked down at my hand. Reggie's number had vanished a few showers ago. But I found myself constantly staring at my hand like maybe it had all the answers anyway. I wanted to go to the party tomorrow. I’d taken today’s shift partly because I didn’t want to work on the crazy busy 4 th of July and partially because I didn’t want to miss the party.

And maybe I didn’t want J.J. to know my schedule anymore.

To get tomorrow off I’d also had to grab a Tuesday shift.

Maybe I’d just change all my days to avoid him.

I sighed. That was ridiculous. I couldn’t avoid him forever. I couldn’t stay fixated on J.J. for the rest of my life. I needed to get out there and make more friends and meet more people. And maybe if I let a few more people in, I wouldn’t be so obsessed with him.

Reggie had invited me to the 4 th of July party.

I owed it to him to give at least a friendship between us a chance.

It wasn’t like J.J. had asked me to the party.

We were just friends right now because I was too much of a coward to tell him how I felt.

If he was even going, he was probably taking the blonde girl.

Maybe she was offering him something I couldn’t…

a move to New York. And I definitely couldn’t offer him that.

The closest I could get was Newark. Even that was a stretch.

I hadn’t heard back from the admissions office yet.

I took a deep breath and typed out a text to Reggie. "Hey! It's Mila. So, where exactly on the beach is that party?" I pressed send.

A few minutes later I got his response. "Hey, Mila! I forget what street it's near. How about I just come to your place and we can find it together?"

I smiled to myself. He was cute. And he probably didn't flirt with every girl he talked to like J.J. did. I gave him my address and pressed send. Then I pulled up the text from Aiden. I was suddenly feeling bold again. And that shithead hadn't mailed me my books yet.

"I'm having a fantastic summer. Although I haven't gotten my books yet. Did you mail them?" I pressed send.

My phone buzzed a minute later. I swiped my finger across the screen, expecting a text from Reggie. But it was Aiden. "Mila, I need to talk to you. Can I call you?"

I put my phone down on the table. Now he finally wants to talk to me? His text from last week was the first time I heard from him since we broke up. I didn't want to talk to him now. I never wanted to talk to him again.

I walked out of the back room.

"Hey, do you mind if I get going a little early? I'm not feeling well," I said to Becca, who I was being teamed up with more and more. Probably because she was always so cheery and I was so…not. The thought of hearing Aiden’s voice made me want to throw up. Besides, J.J. might be showing up any minute to ask if I want to hang out. He probably knew I was randomly working here today. Because clearly he was the stalker, not me. And I didn’t know what to say to him. I mean…what was there to say? He knew I liked him. Of course he knew that. I didn’t need to say it out loud for him to see it. And being around him was just too hard.

"Sure. Feel better, Mila. Oh, are you going to the 4th of July party tomorrow? I heard it's going to be awesome!"

"Yeah, I'm thinking about going."

"I hope I see you there,” Becca said. “Feel better!"

"Thanks!" I quickly took off my apron and went out the door.

A second later my phone started buzzing.

I looked down and Aiden was calling me. What the hell?

I felt like I was going to throw up. What could he possibly want to talk about now?

I ignored my phone and it eventually stopped buzzing.

But then it started buzzing again. I looked down. Aiden was calling me again. Fuck.

I stopped at a bench on the boardwalk and sat down.

For a few weeks I thought I was fine. But apparently I wasn't. I was still a fucking mess.

Pining over a guy I could never have was probably just a coping mechanism.

Maybe it was one of the stages of grief or something.

Anger was definitely one of the stages, and I had plenty of that.

How many times had I called Aiden and he hadn’t answered? Too many to count. Could I really give him the satisfaction of calling twice and me answering? No. A few seconds later the phone stopped buzzing again.

I sighed and leaned back against the bench.

Maybe he was calling to apologize. What else could he possibly be calling for?

And a late apology was better than no apology.

Wasn't it? If I was ever going to be able to let it go, maybe I needed to hear what he had to say.

My phone started buzzing again. I can do this.

But then I looked back down at the cracked screen and remembered how it broke in the first place. There was nothing left to say to Aiden. There was no point in taking the call. My phone eventually stopped buzzing and I sighed. Leave me alone.

My silent prayer was not answered. The buzzing started again. You know what? Fuck it. And fuck him. I wanted the apology. He owed me at least that. Maybe it would help me finally move on.

I picked up my phone and answered the call. "Hey," I said much quieter than I meant to. My body was coursing with anger but my voice was barely audible.

The line was silent. Maybe he hadn’t heard me.

"Aiden?"

"Hi, Mila." There was an awkward pause. "It's so good to hear your voice."

What the hell? The feeling wasn’t mutual. Hearing his voice made me feel like I was going to throw up again. "Why are you calling me, Aiden?"

He laughed. "It's weird hearing you call me Aiden. You never really called me that."

He was right. After we had started dating, I always called him babe. My stomach felt like it was twisting in knots. "Yeah." My voice sounded weird.

"I'm sorry that I haven't mailed you your stuff yet. It's just...I feel like you'll really be gone as soon as your stuff is gone."

Why do I want to cry? I swallowed hard. I needed this phone call three months ago. Not now. "I was gone as soon as I walked in on you sleeping with..."

"I know," he said, cutting me off. "Mila." His breathing sounded heavy. "I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry."

"You’re right. You are an idiot."

He laughed. "I know." He was silent for a long time. "I made a mistake. I'm so, so sorry."

That's what I had wanted to hear. But for some reason it wasn't enough. "We both know it wasn't just one mistake, Aiden. You don’t have any reason to lie to me now. How long did it go on?” I didn’t need to know the answer. I shouldn’t have even asked the question. Nothing he said could fix the hurt.

"I know. I know. Fuck, Mila. I don't know what's wrong with me." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

He didn’t answer the question. I should have ignored it and ended the call. Instead, I heard myself asking it again. For the love of God, why am I torturing myself?

“I don’t know. Six months maybe. But I’m sorry. I screwed up and I’m really fucking sorry.”

"Okay." Nothing he just said was okay, so I wasn’t sure why that was my response. Six months? Was he serious?

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I know I’m an asshole.”

I wasn't sure if he was looking for me to say I forgave him. But I didn't. My heart wasn't big enough to forgive and forget. I hated him. I hated the way he had made me feel. And I felt that way again right now. I put my face in my hand. Six months. He’d slept around behind my back for six months.

"I miss you."

I didn't say anything. Did I miss him? I felt angry and sad. But I wasn't sure I missed him anymore. I closed my eyes. No, I didn’t miss him. I hadn’t missed him for a while now. Ever since I met J.J.

"When are you coming back?” he asked. “I need to see you."

"At the end of summer.” Maybe. Hopefully not. “Aiden, why didn't you ever call me back? I needed you." Shit. I could feel my tears welling in my eyes. "I needed you last semester. I needed to know why."

"I'm sorry."

His sorry felt empty. It didn't mean anything to me now. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't know. But I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you so much."

"Was it something I did?" That's what had bothered me the most. It felt like it was my fault somehow. Tears started running down my cheeks.

"No. No. I just made a mistake."

Why did he keep saying that? He had made the same mistake over and over and over again. I had walked in on him making one of the hundreds of mistakes. "I'm going to go."

"Mila. Please, you have..."

"I don't want you to call me again."

"I want you back." His words hung there.

He wanted me back? After cheating on me? Humiliating me? Abandoning me? Fuck him. "It's too late." I hung up the phone.