Page 102 of Forbidden Billionaires, Vol. 9

Wednesday

Advil and ice cream had done wonders for my hangover. Now I was just sober and miserable. There was still at least half a box of wine with my name on it waiting for me back at my apartment. As soon as my shift was done I had a date with me, myself, and I. The thought made time pass even slower.

Usually I could at least look forward to the possibility of my lifeguard showing up.

But that was done. He had said he wanted to remain friends.

I knew he was lying, though. Men and women were never just friends.

We'd probably never even talk again. I couldn't believe I had let myself get caught up in the idea of dating him.

It was like I didn't know how to be alone.

The way he had kissed me didn't make him easy to forget, though.

And I wasn't sure if I wanted to forget.

No one had ever kissed me like that before.

Just thinking about it made me feel overheated.

Or maybe it was just the fact that it was always a thousand degrees in the ice cream shop.

"I don't like seeing you cry."

Hearing his voice made me smile. I immediately pressed my lips together, forcing the smile to disappear.

What was he doing here? I took a deep breath, tossed my washcloth into the bucket of water, and turned around.

My lifeguard was leaning on the counter.

I thought I might have imagined his voice, but he was definitely there.

It was so good to see him. I mean bad. It was bad to see him.

“I’m not crying.” I was happy my voice sounded sassy instead of sad. Apparently my new diet gave me quite the attitude. At least on the outside, because on the inside I was dying.

“I meant at the beach yesterday.”

Oh. My sudden weird confidence was pulverized. "You saw that?" I had tried so hard to hide it.

"Yeah. And I'm sorry that I did that to you."

"I wasn't crying because of you, J.J. It had nothing to do with our conversation. I had just gotten some bad news earlier is all." I looked away from him.

He didn't say anything. But his silence made it seem like he didn't believe me. What did it matter if he knew I was crying over him. He already thought I was a mess. He didn't want to date me. He didn't want to be my friend. Why was I always so worried about what people thought of me?

"It's okay," I said quietly. "Don't worry about it. Really." It wasn’t like he was the first person to give me the boot.

"It's not okay. I acted like a complete dick.”

What an appropriate word choice.

“I approached that whole conversation wrong.

What I should have said is that I like you.

I've missed you the past few days. When I wake up, you're the person I want to hang out with.

If I'm being honest, I used to look forward to seeing you on the beach on Tuesdays and Thursdays even before we met.

I don't care if that makes me a stalker. " He flashed me a smile.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. "I looked forward to seeing you too."

"But you're going back to California at the end of the summer. You're only going to be here for two more months."

There was no point in telling him about my application to the University of New Castle. It didn’t matter either way. "I know."

"And I know you aren't looking to date anyone. I'm not in any place to date someone either. I get that it's complicated. It's messy." He sighed. "I don't want to hurt you. That's why I said we should just be friends."

"I know." I didn’t actually know that. And it was really nice to hear it. I exhaled, not even realizing I had been holding my breath while he spoke. He still liked me. I stared at him. Did I still like him? My eyes traveled to his lips. Affirmative. But I really wished I didn’t.

Especially since he was only offering me friendship.

He tapped the counter. "Are you hungry?"

It would be easy to turn him down. I could tell him I was working a double shift.

But I didn’t want to push him away. I just wanted him to want me, even though it was pathetic.

And he was standing here telling me he was sorry.

That he still wanted me in his life. Us being friends didn’t exactly break my new diet.

I looked at the clock behind me. I still had a few minutes left of my shift, but my replacement was already here.

"Is it okay if I get going early?" I asked her.

"Absolutely." She looked at my lifeguard and then winked at me.

I laughed and pulled off my apron. Before I walked out of the shop, I turned to J.J. "Would you rather go get dinner or just have ice cream?"

"Bring me my ice cream, woman!" He slapped his palm on the counter.

I laughed, grabbed two bowls, and put a few scoops of Pink Dream ice cream in each one.

"I'm glad we made up," he said and stole one of the bowls out of my hand as soon as I came out of Sweet Cravings. "I missed this ice cream."

"I thought you missed hanging out with me." Stop being desperate.

"Eh...not as much as the ice cream." He smiled at me and took another bite. We started walking down the boardwalk.

When I was younger, I had always wished I was one of those girls walking down the boardwalk with a boyfriend.

I glanced at my lifeguard. I completely understood everything he had said.

But it didn't change how I felt. I wasn't sure if I could just be friends with him.

Whenever I saw him, I got butterflies in my stomach.

And his smile made my knees feel like jelly. And I started to sweat more than usual.

My head was completely logical. Friends only. My mind was one hundred percent into that idea. But my body? It was trying to betray me. I inched closer to him while we were walking and silently cursed myself. My body could be really stupid sometimes.

At the end of the boardwalk we turned down a side street and walked past some more shops.

Normally I'd find silence unnerving, but it wasn't awkward with him.

Somehow I was comfortable yet nervous at the same time.

I tried to squash those nerves. There was no reason to be nervous around a friend.

And J.J. and I were doomed to be only that.

"So I was thinking we should have a rematch," he said and stopped on the sidewalk.

"A rematch? You mean in ping pong?"

"Yeah."

"Do you really think that's a good idea? I completely smoked you."

He laughed. "You're so cocky."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, if you really want to get beat again, I'm game. We passed the Grottos already. Is there one closer or should we head back?"

My lifeguard scratched the back of his neck. "I actually have a table in my apartment if you want to just play there. It's probably closer."

He's inviting me back to his place? Even though we had just had a conversation about being friends, it felt like he was giving me mixed signals. Was he as conflicted as me? Or was he trying to torture me? I bit the inside of my lip. Going to his place didn’t mean like a hookup or anything.

Friends hung out alone all the time. And I did want to see his place…

"Or we can head back to the Grottos if you'd rather."

"No. I'd like to see your apartment." I smiled at him.

He had pointed it out before. It was just farther down the street we had already turned on.

I thought we were just randomly walking, but maybe he was trying to get me to come see his place the whole time.

The thought made me smile. And then frown.

But then I smiled again because it was a lot easier to silence my brain than my body.

"Great. It's actually just a couple more blocks." We started walking again.

"So…I have a question for you," I said.

"Shoot."

"If you have a ping pong table in your apartment, why are you so incredibly bad at it?"

J.J. laughed. "I'm not that bad. You just took me by surprise, that's all."

"Mhm. Sure."

"Geez, you really are cocky, Jellyfish Girl."

He called me Jellyfish Girl again. Maybe we were right back where we were before the kiss. Before he royally screwed up and I gave up men. Before it felt like he stabbed my heart with a knife.

Whatever it was that we had now, I liked it. He and I were natural together. There was no awkwardness. It seemed like maybe we could actually be friends, as long as I could keep my hands to myself. If it meant keeping him in my life, I had to try.

When we got to his apartment building, he opened the door for me.

I couldn't help but think how much of a gentleman he was. Aiden had never opened doors for me. I silently cursed myself for even thinking about Aiden. There was no comparison between him and J.J. They were on totally different levels. J.J. had apologized to me the day after he stomped on my heart. Aiden on the other hand…I was still waiting. And I wasn’t holding my breath.

"So, are your roommates home?" I asked as we stepped on the elevator.

"I'm not sure. Why, are you scared to be alone with me?" He smiled.

He was being flirtatious again. The butterflies started flapping around in my stomach on command. He's like this with all girls. It means nothing. I just needed to get used to it. He wasn't coming on to me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Or is he?

"Not at all," I said. "Anyone who's that bad at ping pong isn't very scary."

"You're relentless. I really want to beat you now."

"Well, good luck." He’d need it. The elevator doors opened and we stepped out into a hallway.

"This way," he said and put his hand on the small of my back for a second.

My whole body felt alive even with a slight touch from him. Calm down. We’re buddies.

He took his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. It was dark inside. "I guess we're alone," he said and switched on the light.