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“Just over two months. We’re doing it old school.” Aidan smirks while snaking his arm around my waist, pulling me in closer to him .

“Seriously?" rasps John. "Please tell me you’ll let ranked wolves from other packs watch.” His eyes are shining as he looks between us. He’s practically salivating, but I haven’t got a clue why.

You’re okay with a public claiming?” Caleb asks me with a raised eyebrow.

His questioning tone is reserved and cold, but not unkind.

I hadn’t met Caleb before tonight. He's a Black man with tightly shaved hair, broad shoulders and a muscular build.

I know he came from a pack somewhere in Louisiana and recently challenged the previous beta for his position.

Aidan was furious about it. He said something about not being able to trust a new guy while taking his anger out on me.

Aidan laughs and assures our guests that I am aware of my place. Anger flashes across Caleb’s face for half a second before he schools his features. The change was so quick, I’m not fully sure it was real. Pathetic Emily, looking to strangers to rescue her.

“And what place would that be?” he questions.

Aidan and John both laugh before Aidan answers. He stares straight into Caleb’s eyes as he says, “Emily’s place is wherever I want it. Isn’t that right, Emily?” He states as he pushes me harshly to my knees without even looking at me.

A wave of shame washes over me, hot and prickly, but I quickly respond, “Yes, Alpha.” My voice betrays none of my inner turmoil.

I am well aware of the consequences of disagreement, especially in public, no matter how humiliating or degrading his actions are.

Aidan pulls me up again by my hair, now that he has made his point.

I keep my head down to avoid anyone’s gaze.

I can’t comprehend what’s worse; sympathy, pity, or the callousness of someone who is just glad it’s not them.

I don’t understand what he meant by ‘old school’ or ‘public claiming’.

My wolf is howling inside me and urging me to push back.

I should trust her instinct; she knows when to fight and when to run.

I wish I had listened to her the first time she told me to leave, but I’m too much of a coward.

She deserves better than such a weak person to share a body with.

I need to find out what everyone is talking about, even though I know it’s risky to ask questions right now. “What exactly does old school mean?” I ask, my voice laced with trepidation. Fear floods my mind, unsure of what response I’ll get.

“It means, Emily, that I will invite the entire pack, as well as our neighboring ranked wolves, to watch as I claim you,” Aidan responds coolly.

“Claim me? You mean the Luna ceremony?” I ask tentatively.

I can’t shake the intense dread that fills me.

A physical weight settles in my chest. In the back of my mind, I know that Alphas publicly mated their Lunas in the past, but nobody does that anymore.

Surely he couldn’t mean the sexual part of the claim?

Shifters have evolved to be more human than animal.

Public matings are pretty universally acknowledged as a barbaric relic of the past.

“Don’t act all innocent. You’re the slut who loves to spice things up,” he laughs as I cringe at his harsh words.

“Might as well show everyone what a whore you are for my cock.” I gasp at hearing him speak about me like this.

Aidan has always been awful to me privately, but he has never spoken like this before in front of others.

My eyes sting with unshed tears and my cheeks burn with shame.

Aidan is weird about sex, not that I have anything to compare him to. He only wants sex in one position, and it always seems like a means to an end. For him, that is. But now he’s speaking to others about me like I’m a whore and saying that he wants them to watch us.

I’ve only ever been with Aidan. But there was one time where I initiated sex in a position other than missionary and it was a disaster.

He determined I was the biggest whore in existence and hit me so hard he broke my jaw in two places.

He has always insisted sex isn’t for me.

It’s about what he wants and my body is for his use.

I’m not permitted to orgasm. The less I enjoy it, the more he seems to.

“I’m going to claim you by stripping you naked and fucking you while the entire pack watches the day you turn twenty-one.

Then I’ll sink my teeth into you and mark you as mine forever,” Aidan asserts, his voice low and steady.

As if he hadn’t just promised me the most humiliating experience imaginable.

My parents are in this pack. Every friend I’ve ever had, as well as every male who has ogled me and made comments behind my back.

They don’t respect me already, but how am I supposed to look any of them in the eye after they see me in that position?

How could I ever be their Luna after that?

I don’t respond. My throat closes as I try desperately to keep breathing, praying to stay conscious.

I pinch at my thigh in an attempt to refocus my mind on the pain.

John is laughing, his eyes glued to my chest as he slaps Aidan on the back.

Congratulating him on his decision to basically rape me in public.

Caleb’s eyes bore into mine. His glare is different, but no less uncomfortable.

“Seeing as we have been together so long already, Emily’s first heat shouldn’t be long after her birthday.

She’ll be pregnant by equinox.” Aidan says with a grin in my direction.

Then he turns back and starts talking about Goddess knows what, as if he hasn’t just said the most awful thing I can imagine.

Like I’m not sitting here trying to swallow the bile that's rising up my throat. The idea of bringing Aidan’s pup into the world settles into my mind like an icy dread.

I’ve always wanted to have a family of my own. But not like this.

Not with him .

What if we have a little boy that Aidan could mold to be like him? How could I survive watching him shaping my child to be a monster like his father. Or a little girl who might end up in a relationship like mine or my mom’s? I can’t let that happen, but how can I stop it?

I can’t even protect myself.

My breathing is labored, and I feel like I’m going to pass out as Aidan continues talking as if he hasn’t dropped the worst bomb imaginable.

I can’t hear anything over the rush of blood in my ears.

Aidan steers me into my seat at the top table with a painful grasp of my elbow, where we sit overlooking the warriors.

Dinner appears as soon as we sit down. I move my food around and pretend to eat as I sit there simmering with my usual feelings of fear, but also for the first time, something else; rage.

The chilling thought strikes me: this will keep getting worse, and the constant chipping away at my soul by him will never end, leaving me a fractured ruin of my former self, devoid of all essence.

He will take my pups and destroy them the same way he has destroyed me.

Instead of feeling defeated, though, a spark of defiance ignites within me for the first time in so long.

I can’t bring a pup into this pack. A pack where females are second-class citizens and violence against them is encouraged as a means to keep them in place.

I’m going to have to get as far away from Aidan as possible.

Far enough that he won’t be able to track me through the mate bond.

Far enough that even fate itself can’t drag me back.