Page 17

Emily

A knock on my door interrupts my thoughts as I’m settling in for an early night.

And as with most things I’m not expecting, the sound immediately fills me with dread.

My racing mind goes straight to Aidan—or anyone who could tell him where I am.

What if he already knows? What if he’s here?

My heart is pounding and blood rushes in my ears as I frantically scan the room, looking for another escape.

But before the darkness can fully claim my vision, Sofia’s enthusiastic voice cuts through the chaos like a soothing balm to my panicked mind.

“Hey Em, you in there?” Her slightly spicy, citrusy scent floats under the door and slices through my fear like a claw through fog.

Relief hits me so hard my knees almost give out.

And once I’m able to suck air into my lungs again, I realize I’m a complete idiot.

Why do I always go straight to the worst possible conclusion?

And why am I not engaging any of my other senses?

I open the door and am greeted by a smiling Sofia holding a bowl of popcorn and a stack of movies. “I thought we could have a girly night,” she says with a grin—until she takes in my expression. Her smile fades. “Hey, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“Um”. My eyes dart around the room as if I will somehow find a reasonable excuse to cover how unhinged I clearly look.

“You got worried about who was knocking?” she asks softly, her eyes full of sympathy. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think.”

“I thought... he might have found me. That probably sounds crazy, but I worry I’m still too close to him. Maybe I should keep moving,” I whisper. Sofia’s face drops and she walks over and gives me a side hug.

“You got away; you’re safe here. And you can’t run forever.”

“I know I can’t, but I’m so scared. Now that my leg is better, maybe I should move on, try to get a job in a human town, save money and get out of the country. As far as I know, he can’t track me that far away, even if he is my mate. Maybe then, I could find somewhere I could settle down.”

My voice trails off as Sofia squeezes me tighter before leading me towards the bed. We both sit, and Sofia pulls a blanket around my shoulders. My eyes sting as I recall how much of a failure my escape was in many ways.

“I had money,” I murmur. “I’d been hiding it for a while.

And my mom gave me some, too. But then I lost everything during my escape.

And I couldn’t go to a human town with my injuries and having no clothes.

” My breath grows shallow, each inhale strained like my lungs are rebelling against the heaviness in my chest. The air feels thick, and I struggle to breathe.

“If he ever finds me again…” My voice cracks. “The consequences will be worse than everything else he has ever done before.”

Sofia squeezes my hand. “Do you want to talk about it? About how he hurt you before?”

Do I? Part of me wants to, but I can’t bear the inevitable judgment. Sofia has been so kind, but at some point, she will have to realize exactly how pitiful I am. And I don’t want her to know it all. I wish I didn’t have to remember it.

“I don’t want to burden you with my stuff. And well, a lot of it is my fault, anyway.”

Sofia’s eyebrows knit together. “How is any of it your fault? He hurt you, Emily. That’s never okay.”

“Yeah, but I let him! I shouldn’t have let myself get so taken in. I shouldn’t have been so stupid!” My eyes burn with unshed tears, and my bottom lip quivers, but I don’t want to let my tears fall.

I’ve cried enough.

“Oh, Em,” she whispers. “Tell me—how exactly were you supposed to stop him? I’ve met Aidan Blackwell. He’s… intense. Dominant. And easily twice your size. When would you have had a real chance to leave?”

“I tried to leave once before.” I shudder at the memory. “It didn’t go well.”

“What happened?”

“He… he said that if I was going to act like a stupid bitch who didn’t appreciate how good I had it, he would show me what I really deserved.” Sofia's thumb rubs circles on the back of my hand but says nothing, giving me time to tell her when I’m ready.

“He beat me badly. I’m not sure how long for, but at some point, I lost consciousness. That wasn’t unusual. But when I woke up, it hurt to breathe, and my throat was burning. Like fire had been wrapped around it. I was… I was wearing a silver collar with a silver chain attached to it.”

Sofia covers her mouth as she audibly gasps. Her brown eyes widen and her hand trembles slightly. She knows what silver does to a wolf. How it sears and poisons us, how it slows our healing.

“He made me go about my normal day. Maintaining the house, preparing meals I wasn’t allowed to eat.

Doing the pack bookkeeping that I had been doing since I moved in with him.

All the while, in unbearable pain and knowing that mistakes were never tolerated.

At night, he hooked the chain to the floor of the basement.

He whipped my back with his belt until I blacked out from the pain. Afterwards, he left me there alone.”

I can’t bring myself to glance at Sofia while I share the story of the worst week of my life, so I stare straight ahead instead.

I draw my legs up and wrap my arms around them, pressing my forehead into my knees.

The loneliness and terror I experienced during that time still chills me now, and I constantly reassure myself that it’s only a memory as I hear Aidan’s voice clearly in my head.

You deserve every lash. If you weren’t such an awful mate, I wouldn’t have to do this. It's all your fault.

“In the morning, he would come down and tell me it was for my own good. That he didn’t want to hurt me, but I had forced him into it by being such a terrible mate.

It went on for days and he didn’t stop until I was so mentally broken that I thanked him for showing me how much he cared.

He made me thank him for the pain he inflicted.

He said he did those things to me because he loved me and that I needed training so I could be worthy of his love. ”

The silence stretches thick and uncomfortable between us.

Sofia’s breath hitches. “Emily…” she chokes, wiping tears from her face. “I’m so sorry. That’s… it’s unimaginable.”

Her brown eyes are red-rimmed, and tears are streaming down her face. Guilt hits me hard, like a punch in the gut. I’ve said too much. She didn’t need to hear that. I won’t tell her what he threatened to do if I ever tried to leave again.

“I’m sorry for dumping that on you. I shouldn’t have unloaded on you like that. I just started talking and the words kind of tumbled out. It’s a lot to hear.”

“It was a lot to live through ,” she whispers. “You’re so strong for surviving being with him. And so resilient for finding even more strength and managing to get away when you knew how awful the risk of getting caught was.”

“I’m not strong. I’m weak. I’ve always been weak. ”

“No,” she says with quiet certainty. “You’re still standing, aren’t you? Even after everything he did to try to break you? You’re still here. There’s nothing stronger than that.”

Sofia hugs me again and the tears I’ve been holding in roll down my cheeks.

The comfort Sofia offers is so alien to me, but I can’t help but soak it up.

Her warmth, her kindness, how she seems to genuinely want to be here for me.

I don’t deserve her friendship, but I can’t stop myself from taking it.

“Thank you,” I whisper, swiping the tears off my cheeks.

After a moment, she pulls back slightly. “Look, don’t take this the wrong way—because you can always talk to me—but I truly believe it would help to speak to a therapist.”

“A therapist? Like when humans go to talk about their feelings and stuff?” Only the years of learning how to hide my reactions stops me from gawking at her. Why would she even suggest such a thing?

Because she thinks you’re stupid and broken and no one wants to listen to your pathetic whining.

I shake off that voice in my head that always pops up when I’m questioning myself. It sounds like Aidan, and it consists of the kind of things he would say if he were here.

“Yeah, I know it’s not common for wolves, but you’ve been through so much, Em.

One of my human friends saw someone after leaving a toxic relationship.

It really helped her. Even just having a place to say everything without judgment.

Like obviously you can’t share the full story, but you could talk about the abuse, how it impacted you, and get help with moving forward. ”

I glance down at my hands. “How would that even work? I’ve never talked to a human before. What if I mess it up and do it all wrong?”

“I don’t think you can do it wrong. Honestly, I’m in awe of you. Even after everything he did to try to break you, you still survived and got out. He took three years of your life. Don’t let him take your future, too.”

I take a deep breath. The last thing I want is to let my past ruin my future too. That’s the whole reason I ran. I want a future. One where I can have friends and decide myself what I wear or eat.

“I have no money, Fia. Even if I wanted to talk to someone, it’s not an option right now. But I promise I’ll consider it once I’m back on my feet,” I swear. I never would have considered a therapist before, but Sofia is right. I need to move forward .

Talking about my experience has helped and I feel more free than I have in as long as I can remember. It’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. But I don’t want to burden her any more than I already have. It's not fair to take the weight from my shoulders and place it on hers.

Sofia doesn’t push it any further, but she's planted a seed, and I appreciate it so much. Knowing she has faith that I could be happy again—that I might not be broken beyond repair—has done something to me. Possibly even put some of those broken pieces back together.

I might not believe it yet, but I’m going to try to borrow her belief in me until I find my own.

I slept better last night than I have in years. Maybe it was the catharsis of crying. Maybe it was knowing someone actually sees me. Either way, I woke up without the usual weight pressing down on my chest. I'm still me—still scared, still broken—but maybe a little less alone.

I could never cry in front of Aidan. It made him angrier. It always seemed like he wanted my fear and compliance, but all other feelings I had were irritating to him. So, I learned to hold it all inside, to become numb.

After a lazy morning, Sofia calls through my door to let me know she’s back from training. Calls , not knocks. Because she remembered. The thought makes something inside my chest squeeze in the best way.

She has finished her training before mine starts. As an alpha female, Sofia trains with the warriors when Jackson leads training, although she has told me she skips out when Luca is due to be there.

We head down to the pack house kitchen together, and I fill her in on starting one-to-one lessons with Jackson. Her eyebrows rise so high they are practically hitting her hairline.

“He’s training you privately?” she whisper screeches as we arrive in the pack house kitchen, and I shush her quickly, not wanting to draw anyone’s attention .

“Sorry,” she grins, lowering her voice. “It’s just that I’ve never known Jack to offer private lessons before and I know a lot of the omegas and unranked females have asked him. A lot of them,” she whispers conspiratorially, and a spark of unease settles in my stomach.

“He’s just being nice. It’s probably because I was so useless compared to everyone else.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely not it,” Sofia laughs. She has a giddy expression and she's practically vibrating. She has me wondering if I’ve missed something obvious.

I narrow my eyes at her. “Then what do you think it is?”

“Oh, nothing; you’re probably right. He’s just…

being nice.” Her facial expression doesn’t at all match up to what she’s saying, but I let it go.

I don’t have long here, and I need to get as much as I can from these lessons.

I don’t want to overthink myself into not taking them when they’re available.

Still, the flutter in my stomach won’t go away.