Page 15

Emily

I’m still riding the high from this morning’s run, mostly because I finally got to see what this pack is about.

They train omegas. Not just allow it— encourage it.

I know I’m weak and there’s only so much they can do for me—especially with the little time I have here—but every little bit has to help.

My excitement has tamped down my nerves, and I’m not even mad at Sofia for not telling me she was bringing me to warrior training this morning. She hadn’t told me what to expect, so I didn’t know what was going on until the smell of sweat hit me.

I had panicked when I realized where we were and Sofia practically had to drag me in, but I’m glad she did now. I got to see how the pack warriors engaged with each other, and they seemed so keen to impress Jackson that they barely spared me a glance.

It was such a relief to be able to finally fade into the background instead of being paraded around like a trophy.

Sofia is a lot taller than me and some of the clothes she gave me hang off my tiny frame, allowing me to blend in for once.

Being able to braid my hair and keep my hood up definitely helped, too. I had no idea how freeing it would be.

Sofia can’t come to omega training with me, but after how this morning went, I’m not nearly as nervous as I expected.

Jackson was much nicer, and that clear disdain wasn’t there when he addressed me.

Oh goddess, how pathetic can my thoughts be?

Am I really celebrating someone not hating me so obviously?

I shake it off. I need to soak up as much of this self-defense as possible.

There’s a maximum ten days or so before I need to move on again.

There is a small group of omega she-wolves sitting on the soft exercise mats, chatting animatedly.

Sofia had introduced me to a couple of females our age yesterday, but I don’t want to intrude on their conversation, so I hover near the weights, pretending to examine them while my nerves nibble at the edges of my excitement.

Then the air shifts. A collective change in posture draws my gaze toward the entrance. Jackson walks in, and every head turns .

He's wearing dark shorts, slung low on his hips, a snug black T-shirt that does nothing to hide the way his muscles flex with every step. He rubs his hands together, easy and confident, and I swear I can feel the oxygen being sucked out of the room. The omegas eye him appreciatively, shooting him flirtatious glances and smiles. I can’t blame them.

He looks like he was carved from stone, and even though I know better than to trust looks, I can’t drag my eyes away from him either.

“Okay ladies, let’s start warming up,” Jackson calls out. His voice carries—firm but relaxed. Most of the she-wolves present are already up and moving their bodies into pretzel like stretches.

“We have a new member joining us today,” Jackson says while pointing to me. “Emily is here to learn self-defense, and I’ll need to give her my focus over the next couple of weeks, as she won’t be here long. I also want her to see what you girls can do, so don’t hold back today.”

My face heats as I register the glances thrown my way, wishing I could go back to invisibility.

Some girls appraise me curiously, while others smirk at me while looking me up and down.

But even the less amiable gazes are not at the level of the dirty looks I got in Blood Moon.

Certainly not enough to make me too uncomfortable.

I need to do this, and I can’t let my anxiety get in the way. Jackson beckons me forward and I walk towards the front of the group with only a slight tremor in my hands. I wish Sofia was here too.

“Okay Emily, as a small female and an omega, you won’t have the same level of strength as me,” Jackson says calmly. He’s stating the obvious, but his words are like a slap to my face. What’s the point of being here if he’s just going to put me down like Aidan always did?

“I’m aware,” I reply curtly before wincing at my carelessness. The last thing I need is to make him angry again. But Jackson’s expression doesn’t change.

“So, you will need to leverage my size against me, move quickly and find any advantage you can exploit,” he finishes.

My eyebrows hit my hairline, and I can only respond with “Oh.” I was wrong. He’s not being cruel. He’s being clinical. And I just thought the worst of someone trying to help me. Such an idiot.

“This is self-defense Emily, you’re here to learn to protect yourself. You didn’t think I was going to point out our differences for no reason, did you?” He responds with a quirked eyebrow .

“Oh, um no, of course not. So how do I do that?”

“Okay, who wants to show off their moves while I attack?” He asks the group and everyone raises their hands before he even finishes his sentence.

“Okay let’s go Jess” he grins at a gorgeous girl who has curly black hair, dark, almost ebony skin, and curves for days.

Jess saunters up and then Jackson moves to grab her arm but, in a flash, she has flipped him over and is now straddling his waist. My jaw drops at both the speed at which Jess switched their dynamic and the intimacy of the pose they are now in.

My wolf stirs and her snarl takes me by surprise. It's almost possessive.

“Good job, Jess, but remember, the goal with self-defense is always to survive and escape. Gaining the upper hand won’t do much for you if your opponent is stronger and wants to hurt you.

And now you’ve lost the element of surprise,” he explains before extending his claws and reaching up to grab her neck.

He’s making his point, but he doesn’t assert his dominance or put pressure on her throat. She doesn’t even seem scared at all, if anything, she looks pissed that her moves haven’t earned her praise.

They get up and he prompts the next she-wolf to be ready for his attack, this time a pretty redhead with a light dusting of freckles and a svelte figure.

Jackson wraps his arms into a choke hold and I watch in shock as she throws an elbow backward, driving it into his stomach as she stomps on his foot.

Jackson grunts and releases the hold, and she twists before taking several steps back.

“Excellent Annie! You put all your strength in there and if I had been an unranked wolf or even maybe a warrior, that combination would have given you enough time to escape.” Jackson turns towards me as he continues to explain.

“The stomach is an ideal place to hit, as it’s soft and you won’t hurt yourself as much as you hurt them.

The stomp to the foot in quick succession doesn’t allow your attacker a chance to recover. ”

Annie preens at his praise, and from my periphery I notice Jess rolling her eyes. I wonder how many of these omegas are here for Jackson more than the self-defense? And why does that idea annoy me so much? Why is there a sharp twist in my gut? It's ugly, possessive, and completely unwelcome.

Next Jackson goes to throw a punch at a beautiful blonde who is the tallest in the group.

The willowy blonde dodges his punch and jumps into a fighting stance with her knees bent and her hands up defensively.

Jackson circles her and then she lunges at him, but he quickly overpowers her and pins her to the floor mat .

“Sometimes the best defense is a good offense,” Jackson explains. “But when your attacker has over a hundred pounds on you, then it’s probably not the smartest idea.” He glances at me and something I can’t distinguish flashes across his face.

Jackson continues in this manner, going to attack all the she-wolves in different ways before explaining why the effective moves worked and giving pointers on how to improve the less successful ones.

I study every move, every reaction. Jackson never gets angry.

He doesn’t seem embarrassed to be beaten.

Actually, he seems genuinely happier the more damage they do.

The pride on his face is tantalizing, and I desperately want it directed at me.

Finally, I’m the only one left who he hasn’t touched.

Anticipation builds low in my stomach. It’s a strange mix of excitement and nervousness that sends a fluttering deep in my stomach.

A wave of warmth spreads through me, emanating from my core.

My skin tingles, as if tiny electric currents are dancing just beneath the surface.

Jackson locks eyes with mine before turning around and walking over to the weights section of the training area. What is he doing? His shoulders rise and fall as I stare at his back until he calls out, “That’s all for today, ladies.”

My shoulders sag. The rest of the girls call out their thanks and head out of the training room chatting and laughing as they tease each other about their moves today.

As the others file out of the room, I remain rooted to my spot on the mat, my thoughts consumed by the questions racing through my mind.

A mixture of anticipation and worry swirls in my stomach as I gather my thoughts and summon the courage to approach him.

Maybe I shouldn’t ask. I have no right to question him.

“Can I help you?” He asks with his muscular back to me, sensing my presence remaining.

“Um, I just… uh, I…I wanted to ask why you didn’t give me a chance today,” I mutter quietly, with none of the bravado I had when I decided to stay behind. He turns around and quirks an eyebrow at me.

“I haven’t even started training you yet. Today was about showing you what’s possible.”

“I… I want to try.”

“You think you’re ready for it?” he asks, taking a step towards me.

“Are you ready for me to put my hands on you?” He tilts his head to the side curiously—studying me.

And I wish I hadn’t waited for everyone else to leave before asking.

It’s just the two of us here now and the idea of him placing his hands on me feels equal parts terrifying and irresistible .

I swallow and nod. My throat is suddenly too dry for words. He’s close now—too close. I feel the heat of him, the pull. My wolf perks up, humming under my skin. Like we are about to touch for another—much less practical—reason.

“I need your words, Emily. Do you want me to touch you?”

Shit. His eyes darken and his pupils dilate as he steps closer to me, his body so close that I can feel the heat that emanates from his body. “Yes. Please. I… I want you to touch me,” I say in a breathy whisper.

He exhales a breath and slower than with the other girls; he moves deliberately as he grabs my wrist and twirls me, so my back is to his chest. My skin erupts in electricity at every point of contact.

His arms envelop me; one banded around my chest, the other around my waist. I gasp as a shiver works through my body and heat pools in my core. His hard body presses against me.

My mind goes completely blank, and I forget what we’re supposed to be doing here until his low voice whispers in my ear. “Fight back.”

We’re both breathing hard when I try to move against him by moving my hips side to side, trying to gain purchase to no avail.

I push back into him, and he lets out a low growl.

“Come on, try to get out of my hold.” I kick back, making contact with his shin and stomping on his foot, but it’s not enough to make him even flinch.

“Remember, use whatever you can to get loose; you don’t need to be pretty or finessed. Don’t worry about hurting me.”

My mind races with ideas of what I could possibly do when Aidan’s voice creeps into my head. You’re fucking useless. Stupid bitch, can’t get anything right. So weak. Such a disappointment.

What if that’s true? What if the only thing I can do is look pretty? Jackson must be assuming I can’t get out because he loosens his grip, and I hang my head in embarrassment as tears cloud my vision.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes while gently tipping my head up with a finger under my chin, forcing eye contact. It’s the opposite of Aidan who insisted I not make eye contact and roughly forced me into whatever positions he wanted.

“I can’t do it. I’m not even close. I’m so sorry for wasting your time. I can’t do anything right,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper as a loose tear makes its escape down my cheek.

“Yet. You can’t do it yet ,” he states so firmly that I desperately want to believe him.

My heart is pounding so loudly at our closeness that he must be able to hear it.

He moves his hand slowly from my chin, along my jaw, and towards the back of my head.

I stare into his deep brown eyes and for a second—just a second—his gaze dips to my lips.

He steps back and turns his back to me, cutting off whatever that moment was and leaving me cold. Alone. My heart is still pounding and my breath shallow, but for the first time in as long as I can remember, it’s not from fear.

It’s from a longing that I didn’t know I could have anymore. Aidan is the only man I’ve ever been with, but I stopped wanting to be intimate with him a long time ago. Around about the time his insults started to become physical. But even before that, he never let me enjoy it. It wasn’t about me.

And, of course, Jackson is the first man I’ve ever been around who has zero interest in me.

I know that sounds conceited. It’s so superficial.

I know I’m beautiful. That’s what usually draws men’s attention to me.

But I’m also weak and damaged, and I’m fairly sure that’s what Jackson sees when he looks at me.

I wonder if he notices anything other than my faults or how useless I am.

“Tomorrow. Eleven,” he barks.

“Wh… what happens at eleven?”

“Be here at 11 if you want me to give you one-to-one training outside of the groups.”

My mouth drops in shock as I stare at his broad back. He hasn’t looked at me again since he stepped back, but I can’t let an opportunity like this go. I need to be able to defend myself and I don’t have a lot of time before I’m on my own again.

“Okay. I mean, thank you. That would be amazing. I… I’ll see you then.

” My voice is little more than a squeak.

And I leave hastily before I can anger him and make him change his mind.

I have never spent time alone with any male other than Aidan, so I have no idea how I should act.

I need to keep reminding myself that he is just being nice and everything else is in my head.

He doesn’t want me. No one would, unless fate put us together.