Page 19

Emily

“So, what has you all riled up? Did you perhaps enjoy your private lesson a bit too much?” Sofia asks as we settle into pace on our run. Her tone has a teasing tilt to it that has me pulling her move and rolling my eyes.

“Honestly, I’m at a loss to explain it,” I huff, choosing to ignore her inference. “When I arrived, he was kind of rude. But then I got upset, and he softened up and then he was really nice. There were a couple of… I want to say, moments ?”

Goddess, it’s like being a teenager grappling with her first crush.

But Jackson is confusing. It’s like he has a split personality or something.

In one moment he is pulling me closer, eliciting feelings I didn’t know I was capable of having anymore, but the next moment he is pushing me away and will barely look at me.

I don’t get him.

Maybe he sees your pathetic crush, and he’s embarrassed for you. That voice in my head tells me.

“Is that a question?” Sofia laughs, interrupting my thoughts and shoulder-bumping me. I stumble a little, even though she did it lightly. She’s so much stronger than me. She’s tall, athletic, somehow still curvy, and just... powerful.

I need to get stronger.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Like he tucked my hair behind my ear and when I put my hand on his arm, there was a look.

” I leave out the part where he pulled me close before jerking away like I’d burned him.

That voice in my head has me second-guessing everything, and now I’m not so sure what I actually saw.

“A look , eh?” Sofia says, serious for a split second before breaking into laughter.

“Ugh, why are you making this so hard?” I cry as I fan my burning cheeks with my hands. But she’s not wrong. I’m probably reading into things way too much.

“Sorry!” Sofia laughs. “But this is too cute! It’s so freaking PG-13 and so unlike Jack to be all mixed messages. He’s usually so straightforward and to the point.”

“Really?” I ask, feeling my eyebrows raising to my hairline.

“Because that is not the impression I have gotten, like at all!” I laugh and shake my head as I reflect on my interactions with Jackson to date.

I can’t remember a time when he hasn’t completely discombobulated me with how he changes his mood like the weather.

“You like him and I’m pretty sure he likes you, too. Hence, the not knowing how to act around you. It makes sense, and it is freaking adorable,” she responds with a smirk. We continue our run as I ponder that idea.

Could he like me? It seems so unlikely. What would a guy like him want with someone like me? All broken and pathetic. Aidan was clear that he didn’t want me for me; he just wanted me because of the bond he was sure we would have.

And could I possibly like Jackson as more than a fleeting crush? Does it even matter though? My mind is racing as I consider being with another man.

After Aidan, I honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever want to have sex again.

But why did my mind just go there? Because no one else is talking about sex except me and I'm obviously not ready for it. And yet… when I think about Jackson’s warm hands on my body.

His gravelly voice in my ear. That look when his pupils dilated and his irises turned the golden hue of his wolf.

My body craves him in ways my head isn’t ready to deal with.

But then, it’s not like sex is even good for me, so why would I want to initiate it?

No. This is ridiculous. It’s been less than two months since I barely escaped Aidan with my life.

I’m carrying a lot of scars, and not just the physical ones.

Now is not the time to be considering a new relationship.

“I’m not ready to like someone, and I can’t imagine Jackson sees me that way. He’s probably just sympathetic towards me because he feels sorry for me and I’m so useless.”

“No, that is 100% bullshit,” Sofia sighs, her voice heavy with frustration.

Her words hit with unexpected weight, her voice fierce with something like anger—but somehow I know it's not directed at me exactly, but at the way I talk about myself. It’s clear that she is not one to back down easily, and that how I see myself is something she is passionate about changing.

I’ve never had anyone in my corner like this.

“Sorry, but no , that is definitely not it. Em, you are gorgeous and kind and courageous and literally any guy would be lucky to have you! Plus, your head might be saying you’re not ready, but your body hasn’t gotten the message because it’s obvious how turned on you are when you think about him.”

She taps the side of her nose and I groan in embarrassment as I hang my head in my hands. Stupid shifters and their ability to always know what everyone is thinking. It’s so unfair that female shifters can’t hide the scent of their arousal while males can.

“It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m nowhere close to even considering having a relationship with someone after everything with Aidan.”

“I get that,” Sofia says in a much softer tone. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through, but Jack is the complete opposite of Aidan in relationships.”

My stomach drops when I imagine Jackson being in a relationship. Which is so stupid. He’s got to be at least in his late twenties. Of course he’s had relationships. I shouldn’t care. But I do.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s... protective. Overly so, sometimes. But never in a controlling way. He’s a good guy.”

"Is he in a relationship now?" I ask, unable to stop myself no matter how much I'm terrified of the answer.

“No, he hasn’t been in a relationship since he thought he met his fated mate shortly after he turned twenty-one.”

“What?” My heart jumps into my throat. “He met his fated mate? Where is she?”

The disappointment slams into me before I can stop it, and a dreadful emptiness grips my stomach. I don’t even know what I want with Jackson—but the idea that he’s already bonded to someone else? It hollows me out.

“She’s not around anymore,” Sofia says with a shake of her head. I blink at her, confused. That’s not how mate bonds work. It’s why I had to get away from Aidan before we knew it for sure.

“There was something off about her. Ryan and Luca didn’t like her at all and tried to get Jack to take things slow, but he was convinced fate couldn’t be wrong, so he begged Ryan to let him bring her back after meeting her at a mating ball.

This was back when my dad was Alpha, and he didn’t have an issue with her joining the pack. ”

I listen, heart pounding, already knowing this story isn’t going to end well.

“I was pretty young at the time so I’m not aware of all the details but they never marked each other and as soon as they got back here, she started acting weird and basically, long story short, she was working with a group of wolves and they had a witch who could fake the mate bond. ”

I gasp. My hand flies to my chest. That’s.

.. unthinkable. The mate bond is sacred .

It’s the only reason I believe Aidan was so interested in me.

A big part of me is holding onto hope that he was wrong, and my real mate is out there.

Not that I could take any chances, of course.

Still, to imagine that someone would use magic to fake it is inconceivable to me.

“I know,” Sofia says, reading my expression. “And it kind of made sense because they had nothing in common. She was such a princess obsessed with how she looked—nothing like what anyone expected of Jack’s mate. But it gets worse.”

“How can it be worse than a fake mate bond? How did he find out?”

“She distracted him from patrol and convinced him to give the warriors the night off so they could be alone in one of the outposts. She had coordinated to let her group into the pack lands. It was awful. A lot of people got hurt, some died—including people that really mattered to Jack.”

A sick feeling twists in my stomach.

“He’s never forgiven himself. That’s why he trains everyone now. Why he takes extra patrols. He wants to make sure no one is ever that vulnerable again.”

“That’s so horrible. Everything makes a lot more sense now,” I whisper, finally understanding his mood swings.

Unshed tears blur my vision and an ache builds in my chest at how much Jackson has been carrying.

No wonder he’s so guarded. No wonder he was both suspicious and protective of me when we met.

Part of him obviously doesn’t trust me, but the other part doesn’t want me at risk as a defenseless omega.

And here I am trying to convince myself that maybe he could have feelings for me when he’s just being decent. Good. Of course, it was about something else.

“Yeah, it was. And it’s part of the reason I believe you would be perfect for him.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. This is the very reason he wouldn’t be interested at all. I stare at Sofia, waiting for her to explain her logic.

“Well,” Sofia says with a sigh. “You’ve both been hurt by people you should’ve been able to trust. You both had mates who weren’t real .

That matters. Aidan used you. She used him.

But Jack? Jack would never lay a finger on you.

Not unless you wanted him to,” she adds with a wink and a wiggling eyebrow.

My face burns. I’m grateful for the moment of levity, but my mind is spinning.

“And you, you are so much more suited for him. You’re beautiful without ever trying, and you love running and being outside. And most importantly, you’re trustworthy . I can tell. ”

I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster for so long that I don’t know how to get off.

My initial confusion has been somewhat cleared up.

But that gave way to heartbreak for Jackson and then back to more confusion.

I’m not sure if Sofia is right on our supposed compatibility, but even her belief that I could deserve someone like Jackson—someone she sees as family—has me feeling all warm and giddy inside.

I’m so grateful to Sofia for being the best friend I’ve ever had. After only a few short days, she has managed to make me feel heard, valued and respected. Before I can overthink it, I launch myself at her and hug her tightly before I can second guess myself.

“Thank you, Sofia. Thank you for choosing to be my friend and showing me that kindness still exists. You have no idea what it means to me.”

She squeezes me in a tight embrace until I let go and we walk the rest of the way back to the pack house. We say our goodbyes with a plan for Sofia to knock when she’s heading for food.

In the shower, I stand still under the stream, letting the water hit my shoulders as my thoughts swirl. I can’t stop thinking about Jackson. About what he’s been through. About what I’m feeling.

It’s all too much.

I wrap a towel around myself after stepping out, my mind still foggy, my body heavy with exhaustion.

A knock at the door has me moving in a trance, surprised Sofia is back so early.

I pad to the door barefoot and open it. Except, it’s not Sofia.

I freeze as I take in Jackson standing in the doorway.

And judging by the intensity in his eyes, he is not happy.