Page 42 of Fierce-Jax (Fierce Matchmaking #18)

MY DECISION

“ Y ou did what!” Jax yelled hours later.

Her mother had picked Gianna up at Pre-K and then brought her to their house to spend the night.

“My mother and I met with Alec’s mother today for lunch.”

“I heard you the first time,” he said, pacing around her house.

Here he thought they were going to have a nice quiet evening together. Instead she was confessing her sins and he was pretty sure the neighbors heard him yelling.

“Then why did you ask again?” she asked.

“Because I’m completely stunned you’d pull a stunt like this.”

She opened the fridge and was slamming ingredients on the counter. “A stunt? Gianna is my daughter.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “I know she is,” he said. “But I love her like she’s mine.”

She stopped and turned. “You’ve never said that before.”

“I didn’t think it needed to be said,” he said. And she thought he was clueless at times?! “I would have thought you could see it by my actions with her.”

“You also seem so uncomfortable when she wants a kiss or wants you to tuck her into bed at night.”

“Because I’m a man that isn’t a relative and I’m very cautious of those things. I know and see a lot of the world out there and how easy it is for a child to misunderstand something or say the wrong thing. I don’t need her going to her school saying I bathe her or kiss her, however innocent it is.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she said.

“Is it really?” he asked. “Because I can assure you it’s not.

Social services take things like that seriously.

Almost every one of my employees is a mandated reporter.

If it was said to them by a child or another adult brought that to their attention, by law, they have to report it for an investigation at the very least. You know that.

I take my image and reputation seriously, not just for my career but also for those I love. ”

“I do too,” she said. “But I hadn’t thought of it either. Not when I hear things like what Alec’s father did to him and nothing ever happened to Luke.”

“And let’s go back to that. What the hell is going on? I thought you were going to let the attorneys deal with this. There is no way your father knew what you did today.”

She ground her teeth. “No, he didn’t. My mother did and she went with me.

I’m not stupid enough to go alone. We got there early.

I made Martha drive three hours so that if she decided not to come alone, they wouldn’t take two cars.

My mother and I got there early and waited for her arrival. She was alone, but I wasn’t.”

“And she could have reacted to you not being alone,” he argued.

“We were in a public place. I’m not an idiot,” she argued.

He wanted to say it sounded it to him but was trying hard not to make this fight bigger than it was.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Are you going to listen to me calmly or do you need to scream and yell some more to get it out of your system?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” he said.

“Then decide while I start dinner,” she said, turning her back on him.

“I can’t believe you’re acting this way,” he said.

“I’ve had more time to digest what happened today,” she said. “And I’m calm about it mostly. You’ve said repeatedly that you will support me and my decisions so that stands to reason that you trust me enough to not put my daughter at risk.”

Her lips were twisting and her nose scrunching in frustration. “You know how I feel about this. How I feel about you and Gianna. The proof is my reaction right now.”

They’d talked so many times about how he only lost his cool when it had to do with those he loved.

She walked up to him and put her hand on his cheek.

“Kiss me and calm down or go for a walk and do it. I’m not sure what you need to do and don’t care.

I’ll answer all your questions. I’m not hiding anything.

” She put her hand up when he went to say she hid this.

“I didn’t know if I was meeting with her or not, so there was no reason to tell you in advance. ”

“I would have talked you out of it,” he said.

“That’s right and I wouldn’t have listened and we would have added that fight to this one. It was my decision and I’m going to have to get shit from my father too, but my mother will let him know tonight what happened.”

“I’m glad he’s going to give you shit,” he said. “At least I’m not alone.”

She snorted. “You and my father are more alike than you want to admit.”

“Give me a few minutes to calm myself,” he said. He wanted a beer but wouldn’t do that. “I’m going to take a shower and change.”

“Fine,” she said. “I’m starting dinner.”

He walked to her bedroom and grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt from the drawer where he’d been leaving more clothes.

Some work and weekend wear.

By the time he got out of the shower he was a little calmer.

Not a ton, but enough to not yell.

“Are you ready to listen to me?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“Dinner will be done in twenty minutes. It’s all on a sheet tray and will cook at the same time.”

He hadn’t seen anything more than chicken breasts slammed down.

“What happened today?”

“Martha came alone. My mother’s presence surprised her, but she didn’t mind. She verified a lot of what Alec told me about his life.”

“He wasn’t lying to you?” he asked.

To him that should have been enough right there to stop them from seeing their granddaughter.

“No. We didn’t go into a lot of details, but enough. Luke was a drunk.”

“That’s his excuse?” Jax asked. “Alcohol made him abuse his wife and kid?”

“Alec is not his biological child,” she said. “And you have no idea the relief I felt hearing that.”

If her eyes weren’t glossy he wouldn’t have realized the emotional toll today had taken on her.

“Did Alec know that?”

“Martha says no,” she said. “I’d like to think if he did, he would have tried to get his mother out.”

“Not to speak ill of him or anything, but I’ve thought of those things. If my father was abusing me and my mother, the first thing I’d do is get her out. He just left her and his sister there.”

Like a coward.

“I thought the same thing. I hated that I did, but it was there. I think Alec had more of his mother’s meek personality. And Alison was Luke’s child from a previous relationship that very rarely visited. So she was not part of the household.”

“Lucky her,” he said. “She didn’t have to deal with it.”

“No,” she said. “I asked why Martha was reaching out now after all this time.”

“Let me guess: Luke isn’t drinking anymore?”

She nodded. “He’s been clean for over ten years.”

“There has to be more to this if it’s taken that long for her to find her son,” he said. “She decided to stick with her husband.”

“I want to think that is why Alec felt the way he did. I’m trying not to judge, but maybe he did try to talk her into leaving and she wouldn’t. I didn’t ask that and she didn’t offer.”

“What did she offer?” he asked.

“That Luke and Alec never got along. They were too different people. I think Alec was weak in Luke’s eyes.”

“Sorry, but he sounds it. I’m being a dick and I don’t care.

I’m calling it the way I see it. Do I feel bad for the kid that was abused?

I absolutely do. Do I think he could have benefited from counseling?

Yep, definitely. But he was a medical professional.

He was an adult. He made poor weak choices in his life as an adult that had nothing to do with his childhood.

Those things he did to you make him weak and a coward. ”

“I know,” she said, throwing her hands up. “And I’m never going to forgive him for that. For putting me in that position. For not opening up to how he was feeling or what he was going through. For me not even seeing it. I was wrong too. It was there in front of me and I turned a blind eye.”

“Don’t go there, Dillion. Don’t you dare blame yourself for his actions. You were focusing on your career and by the sounds of it ultimately going through a pregnancy and motherhood alone. You’re excused if you didn’t see the signs he should have been talking to you about.”

“Jax,” she said. “I know what Alec and I had was casual when it started and I was focused on my career and so was he, but when I found out I was pregnant, I should have been more aware of what was going on with him. I wasn’t. I only thought of myself.”

“You thought of yourself because he wasn’t doing it,” he said. “He wasn’t there for you. You know it. You said it. He wasn’t helping you. He’d taken shots at you because of the wealth you came from. Am I wrong?”

“No,” she said, her shoulders dropping. “I think of those things too. I think of lots of things. But he’s not here for me to scream at now. To take my anger out on. I have to go with what I know now.”

“And what’s that?” he asked.

“That Martha isn’t asking to see Gianna in terms of taking her for any time. Not even to meet her right now.”

“Thank God for that,” he said. “I’d be there fighting it right next to you.”

“I appreciate it,” she said. “Martha just wants to know some things about her granddaughter. I told her nothing. I showed her no pictures. I shared nothing more than she knew roughly when Gianna was born. I haven’t made any decision yet.”

“That’s all this lunch was about?” he asked.

“She wanted to know about Alec. She felt she lost him twice. Once, when he cut her out of his life and then when she found out he died. She’ll never get a chance to make it right. As a mother, I could feel for her there.”

“Did you tell her what Alec was like?” he asked. “How he died?”

“I wanted to. I wanted to say, look at what your actions did to your son. He never felt he was good enough. He stole drugs to sell on the street, he ruined his career, and possibly his daughter’s life and my reputation before my career could even start.

That it got him killed when the guy he was selling them to got pissed he was losing his supplier and might get caught too.

That when he drove away, shot and killed Alec to make it appear as a random drive-by. ”

Jax frowned. “Were you told that?” he asked.

“That’s what the police said to me. When they arrested the guy, he confessed. Is it the truth? No clue. Since the hospital was sweeping it under the rug that Alec was stealing meds, the police didn’t give a shit of the motive, just that he was guilty of the crime.”

“What did you tell Martha then?”

“I told her the truth. That Alec was a brilliant doctor. I told her anything positive I could about her son and nothing of the bad. What purpose would it have served now?”

He took a deep breath and then another and moved into her arms.

“None,” he said.

“That’s right. Then trust me when I say I’m not an idiot and can handle this on my own, but am willing to let you be part of it.”