Page 15 of Fierce-Jax (Fierce Matchmaking #18)

HORRIBLE FEELING

“ H ow was your dinner?” her mother asked when she walked in the door.

“Great,” she said, forcing a smile. Embarrassing as all hell.

She’d never acted like that around a man before.

Ever.

Jax probably thought she was some sex-crazed single mother that was lying through her teeth about not having been on a date since Gianna’s father.

“Are you sure?” her mother asked. “Your eyes are darting all over the place and your voice cracked. That’s a sign that you’re pissed, embarrassed, don’t want to tell me, or are keeping a secret.”

Seemed she was easy to read to everyone but the guy she just went on a date with.

He hadn’t even kissed her at the end.

It was the least he could have done.

Did she have no sex appeal at all to him?

Maybe she was the one being smacked into the friend’s category.

What a horrible feeling considering how she’d had the hots for him for over a month.

Now she knew what Jax meant when he said it kept happening to him and he was taking things slow for that reason.

“It was good,” she lied. “Nothing more. Just a long day and I’m tired. Where is Gianna? I need to find out what is going on with her.”

She should have been thinking of her daughter on her date, but she believed her mother would have told her to come home if it was that big of a deal.

She deserved to have one night to feel like a single woman, right?

Even if she was more unsure of things with Jax than she was before the date.

“Gianna is in the tub and she’s playing. You texted you were on the way and I got her in there so we could talk.”

“Oh boy,” she said. “It’s not good, is it?”

“It’s fine,” her mother said. “But go see your daughter for yourself and then come back and I’ll explain more.”

She put her purse and bag on the counter, removed her jacket, and toed off her pumps.

Her feet were screaming at her. Thank God she’d only put those shoes on after everyone left. She didn’t even know if Jax paid attention to her attire or not.

“Hi, baby girl. Are you playing?”

“Mommy, you’re home,” Gianna said. Her daughter was in the hall bathroom downstairs. Their bedrooms were upstairs, but she had a full bath down next to a guest room.

Her house was bigger than she needed, but she liked the location and the gated community.

She needed something safe to raise her daughter in. A place where her daughter could make friends.

It was the same community her parents lived in, so convenient, even if they were two miles away.

Her father had found this house for her. Probably the cheapest one here and she’d bought it in a private sale.

She was positive her father had a word out to anyone who might list their house to let him know. Dylan Patrick was well-known and talked to everyone.

A true salesman but not in a horrible way.

At least she didn’t think so.

“I just got home,” she said. “You can keep playing. I’m going to talk to Grandma for a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Gianna said, picking a mermaid and fish up and cramming them into each other, bubbles and water flying against the tile walls. “It’s an accident. It’s an accident. Call the police!” Her daughter was giggling and that lightened the mental load on her heart.

She walked back out and toward the kitchen. They could hear Gianna yelling and giggling and talking to her toys loudly.

“What happened at Pre-K today?”

“It doesn’t seem to be a big deal. Gianna said Max is always coming over to talk to her. He wants to sit with her and play and she does most times. She’s being nice, but he doesn’t like to get up and run around like she does.”

“Did she tell you it’s because he’s overweight and should move?” she asked drily.

“She didn’t say it as politely as that to me,” her mother said. “I asked if she mentioned it to Max or not and she said no.”

“Do you believe her?” she asked.

Her mother laughed. “I’m not sure. She knows it’s not nice to say anything about someone’s appearance. She said one girl in her class said Max was fat and he was slow. She was next to Maddy when it was said.”

The birthday girl.

Maddy’s mother was having a grand time pointing out people’s flaws with the other kids’ mothers at the party.

“So it’s possible Max thought Gianna said it or feels the same way and that he was trying to pick on her?”

“That is what I said to her,” her mother said.

Which was nice her mother thought the same way she did.

“What did she say?” she asked.

“That she didn’t like when Maddy said things about people, but if she said something back, then Maddy would say things about her .”

She sighed. “They are too young to learn those behaviors,” she said. “But I know I can’t stop it.”

“You can teach her to do the right thing,” her mother said. “Like we did you.”

“What, tell someone off?” she asked. “I don’t need her making things worse.”

“You never told anyone off,” her mother said. She squinted her eyes. “Not that early. You just walked away. I’ll leave it to you to decide what to say.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

She went back to the bathroom where Gianna was still playing. “Am I in trouble?” her daughter asked.

“Did you hear Grandma and I talking?”

“Yes,” Gianna said.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“Max is always by my side. I don’t want to only play with him, but no one else plays with him. I shouldn’t be stuck though, right?”

“No,” she said. “You shouldn’t. You should be allowed to have more than one friend. Have you tried to ask Max to play with you with your other friends?”

“They don’t like Max,” Gianna said.

“Why?” she asked.

Gianna shrugged. “You’ll get mad at me if I tell you why again.”

“Because he’s heavier than other kids?” she asked.

“Maddy says he’s fat,” Gianna said.

“It’s not nice to say that,” she said.

“Even if it’s true?” Gianna asked.

“Even if it’s true,” she said. “What if Maddy picked on you because you had brown eyes?”

“I can’t change that though,” Gianna said. “Just like I can’t change my name. He can change though.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” she said gently. “And I don’t want you to focus on it either. Did you tell Max he was fat? Did you say the words to him or anyone else?”

Gianna put her head down and that gave her an answer. “I’m sorry. But he was being mean to me first. He called me GiGi.”

“It doesn’t matter who started it,” she said. “GiGi isn’t an insult. It’s just a shortened version of your name.”

“But I don’t like it. I shouldn’t have to be called something I don’t like. Maddy told me that. She stuck up for me. When other kids were calling me other names, she called them names.”

Dillion rolled her eyes. “It’s nice to have friends stick up for you,” she said. “But there is a right away and a wrong way. Doing the same thing to someone else that was done to you isn’t right if it’s mean. It’s best to just tell someone to stop.”

“I did,” Gianna argued. “He didn’t listen to me.”

“Then you should walk away and be the bigger person,” she said. “I used to do that. Not everyone is going to like you in life. You can’t fight or argue each time.”

“I don’t know why I can’t just stay with my friends. If they are saying it and didn’t get picked on, why me?”

“It’s called peer pressure. If you don’t think you’d like it done to you, then you shouldn’t do it to someone else,” she said. “I know it’s difficult to understand, but you have to think of life that way. How would you feel if it was you? Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

One thing Alec never understood.

He wasn’t strong enough to handle much in life.

He couldn’t stand up for what he needed to.

He was afraid to ask for help.

She would not let her daughter fall prey to those things.

Everyone had weaknesses in life and Alec hadn’t wanted to accept his. He hadn’t wanted her support when she’d offered it. They cared for each other yet he pushed her away in his time of need more often than not.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Gianna said, sniffling. She wiped her arm under her nose, leaving bubbles on her face like a mustache.

Dillion smiled over the picture it made. “Don’t be sorry,” she said. “Just be you. But be a nice version of you. Nice people win in the end even when it doesn’t feel it at the time.”

Gianna nodded her head. “Okay. Can I get out and have a snack?”

She grabbed a towel and pushed the drain on the tub. “We can do that,” she said. “Then I’ll read you a story or two in bed.”

“Two,” Gianna said. “With chocolate for my snack. I need it. It was a bad day.”

She laughed over her daughter’s antics and told herself she’d give in for now.

But four years old was too young to be thinking they had to self-medicate with a good book and something sweet for a hard day.

Maybe it was something Alec’s parents should have watched for when he was a child and it was a promise she’d made to herself when she found out she was pregnant, to never let her daughter feel like Alec had growing up.