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I close my eyes, taking a steadying breath before I square my shoulders and step through the door. Time to dance to the music I came up with.

I have never been in my uncle’s study before, and I take my time to inspect it. Anything is better than facing Darren.

It’s a good-sized room with high ceilings and bookshelves, giving it the feeling of a small library.

One side is occupied by a big chunky desk in dark wood, while the other side has a seating arrangement of two armchairs and a small couch, all dark leather and facing the open fireplace that is currently heated by the dancing violet and blue flames of magical fire.

My uncle is my mom’s brother and shares her coloring.

My eyes are on the family portrait that shows him and his wife with my two cousins, Sloan and Bastian.

The silence around us is heavy, and Dar’s eyes burn holes into my back. Once I can’t take it any longer, I turn to face him. He leans against the desk, not attempting to mask his disappointment or anger.

“I’m sorry?” I offer, shrugging sheepishly.

“Are you now?” Dar’s voice is calm, but his eyes, so much like mine, are not.

“What exactly are you sorry for, Ara?” I flinch.

He never calls me Ara. I’ve been his little sparrow for as long as I can remember.

“For risking your life so carelessly? For going behind our backs? For getting yourself into deep trouble by lying about your identity? Or is there more I should know about?”

“For most of it,” I offer. “But I had a good reason. I—”

“You could be dead,” he bellows. “I could have had the report of your death on my desk without even knowing what lies in front of me. I could have signed off on your execution for identity fraud without knowing it.” His voice catches on that last sentence, and I swallow, my throat suddenly tight.

“Did you think at all about what that would have done to me, Ara?” I see the hurt in his eyes, and my stomach plummets. I disappointed him. Again.

“Maybe it would be better if I were gone. For all of you.” I shrug, looking at the floor. I raise my gaze when he doesn’t answer.

My brother stares at me, his mouth agape in horror.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He shakes his head like he can’t believe what he heard. “Please tell me you’re joking. Say it’s one of your twisted ways of making fun of me.” His voice is hoarse, choked by emotions. My chest tightens, making it hard to breathe.

“I just…I wanted to fix it. I wanted to prove that I’m more than the reckless, helpless girl who always screws everything up.

” I look at the floor, trying to hide the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“All of it was so important to Mom, and then…the markings…I didn’t know what to do… ” My voice catches on a sob.

Darren curses, and then I’m enveloped in his arms.

“There were all those things changing…and I was so afraid, Dar. So damn afraid of letting you all down.” My body shakes with the sobs I try so hard to hold back, and Dar holds on like he’s afraid I’ll vanish otherwise.

“So afraid I would become one of those figures of the stories…but I learned to control it, Dar, I really did.” I look up at him through my tears and find his face wet as well.

“You should have come to me with all of that,” he says.

“I planned to, but then Ian sounded so disappointed, so disgusted, because I made one of my stupid jokes and…” I hiccup, my throat tight again, remembering my brother’s words.

I don’t want to dispose of another body.

And words I never allowed myself to voice tumble over my lips.

“I am always this burden for you, this dark cloud overshadowing your lives.” I fight a breath down my rigid chest. “All of you have given so much…and no matter what I do, I’m constantly disappointing you… And Dad…” Another sob wracks my body.

“Don’t you dare put that on yourself.” Dar sounds furious.

I shrug. “But it is. He took that position because of me, to protect me. He would have never been at that bloody battle otherwise, and now you…”

“Now you are just full of yourself.” Dar taps my chin and shakes his head at me, which earns him a watery smile. He pushes me back a little and makes me look up at him.

“I never knew you carried all that around, little sparrow. I’m sorry I didn’t see it.” He shakes his head ruefully and pulls me back into his arms. “You are our light. The day you and Ben were born, you wrapped every one of us around your little fingers. Then the day we found out—”

“The day I nearly killed Mom, you mean,” I mutter.

“Don’t start,” he growls. His chest vibrates with it under my cheek.

“You were a baby. It was not your fault. Nothing that day was your fault. We should have watched you better. Mom should have known better. But…” He shrugs.

“All of us panicked. You looked so pale, so broken when I picked you up. All of us were petrified. Ian and I were so sure we killed you that day.” He shakes his head.

His eyes are haunted like he can still see all of it.

“We felt so guilty for it and were so careful with you because we never wanted to relive that again. You never disappointed us. You drove us nuts, though.” He huffs out a laugh.

“I made your life hell, didn’t I?” My voice is muffled, my face buried in his chest.

He chuckles. “That you did, but so much more fun as well. I can only speak for myself, but I know the others don’t feel different, little sparrow. I never resented you for what you are and never once wished you weren’t around.”

“But…”

“No buts about it. Everyone who knows you is aware that there isn’t a bad bone in your body.

Quite clearly, you would rather die than hurt us.

So stop doubting yourself and stop shoveling all that guilt onto your shoulders.

Especially for the things you had no say in.

” Breathing becomes a little easier, and I take a stuttering breath.

Darren ducks his head, seeking my gaze. “Dad made his own choices, and that is what killed him. None of this is on you.” He shrugs.

“Maybe he did take that position to have the power and say to protect you, but you can’t be sure he wouldn’t have ended up there anyway.

He was a warrior long before you came along, and the chances are good he would have been at that battle no matter what.

” He wipes the tears from my face. “They offered him that position because he was bloody good at it. The same reason I was offered to take over after him. And yes, you have been on my mind, you always are, but you are not the sole reason I took on that position.”

“I just feel so…I don’t want you to have to protect me all the time,” I mutter. Darren laughs at that.

“That is my job. That is our job as your big brothers.” He grins when I grumble at that. “Now I’ll go back to the academy, clean up your mess, and in a few days, I’ll take you back home.”

“But—” I start.

“No, little sparrow, that part is not negotiable,” he says, his face stern. My stomach sinks. If I can’t convince him, all of this will have been for nothing. But can I even do it? Can I go through with Mom’s plan now that I’ve met Tate?